My name is The Jackal.
I am an accursed dwarf.
Every fort I have run has died in the first year.
Every endeavor has ended in a spiral of thirst, hunger, and madness.
Every outpost run under my auspice has quickly turned into a grim tomb.
For a reason wholly unknown to me, I have been selected to wear the crown of leadership at a fortress that has been established already for the past two years. Immediately I must find the missive suspect. Why would the dwarfen elders send for my hexed presence? What evils have the inhabitants of this fort committed to deserve doom by my hand? I do not know. All I know is that the Fortress is called PaintedPrinces, and it lies in the shadow of a volcano.
I arrived at the fortress today. Immediately I was struck at its seemingly random construction. Perhaps I am used to early beginning forts where everything is densely laid out on a nice grid and on just a few levels. This fort is stretched from the volcano base to its very summit. I cannot accurately divine why its so stretched out like it is, but it is cluttered with stone and rough walls and I just...I don't even know what to do at first. As a second note, I think the air here is full of some kind of poison, as many things do not look as they should.
We have 51 dwarves in this god-forsaken magma hole, more animals than I know what to do with, and no military to speak of. Also some dead dwarves, but thank Arnok I know what to do about them. Its time to take a breath and start work. First order of business is to get some kind of organization going on in here, and sort out where everything is and clean up the joint. Stone and supplies are scattered every which way, so stockpiles and smelters are going to need to run 24/7. I'd also like to put together a military if I can - I've managed that once before. If I get ambition I might attempt a magma-based superweapon. Or not!
Granite
The amounts of stone stacked everywhere in this fort will drive me mad! MAD! I have declared a huge swath of earth just outside our gates as a stone stockpile. All dwarves have been given the Haul job option so they can doubletime this crap OUT OF MY WAY! I may be a nigh-insane and possibly cursed dwarf, but I will have order and cleanliness if it kills everyone!
Also, the water source is contaminated and we will all probably die without fluids.
I also directed a set of magma kilns, glass furnaces, and another magma smelter. The faster I smelt down ore and stone, the faster I can get rid of all this damnable clutter. Oh, and I'd also be able to make some great weapons for a military I probably would never need. What with my insane plans for some kind of pressurized magma cannon. So, I set my orders into motion, including an order to delve deeper for an underground river.
Hey, we found something underground! A massive cavern type thing, full of copper and fungiwood trees and things like that. Its probably home to demons and gibbering things that will try and kill us all. Dig deeper, I say -we've already exposed ourselves, and water might be further down if we keep looking! Somehow I managed to find some workshops. They were sadly idle, and this cannot be allowed to continue! The jeweler shout be cutting gems for trades, blocks need to be hewn, and so on. There was a lack of a bowyer's workshop, and this is required to make crossbows for raining DEATH onto goblins! Another craftdwarf's shop, to make bolts while the other makes rock crafts for trade. I think I'm starting to get into the swing.
Slate
The dwarves have been working hard! They have installed my new workshops and much to my chagrin I forgot to channel through the floor to get to the delicious magma underneath. Its complicated by the fact that I cannot see the floor because of ROCK CLUTTER. I swear, the madness of the messy fort is already claiming my mind. Will I be the first to go?
Oh, we also got some migrants and someone gave birth to a girl. I don't bother to notice who it was really. Since I assume all inhabitants will end up dead, what is the point, really? All I see is death, death, and death. Corpses and miasma! Suffering and torment! Also stone. All over the damn place. Also we discovered a lovely cavern. Maybe its full of delicious water and native gold?
Felsite
This month opens with another birth. A girl, I hear. I wasn't there of course, because she gave birth down in the deep mines. AS SHE SHOULD. We aren't a load of pansy elves, to be going to hospitals for the giving of birth. Oh no. I bet she didn't even stop swinging her pick as she went into labor and delivered. I'd give her a medal for excellent dwarfitude in the face of biology, but instead I'll just carve it on her tomb.
Speaking of carving, I ordered a section near the workshops cut out to use for storage, and converted some space down below it for stockpiles. Down in the cavern, I'm breaking through some walls to get to that water source. Hopefully it is a river I can harness for power! I also ordered a dogleg to be dug off the primary hall and stairs installed so I can put in a barracks for training of the military. Work my dwarves, work! Oh. Oh no, a dwarf child has been struck by a fae mood!
He has a workshop, and now I fear.
An elf caravan has arrived, no doubt to trade and or complain about us chopping down trees. I managed to find the trade depot, somehow. I cannot for the life of me fully understand this fortress. Checking the stocks, I see we have plenty of rock crafts that sissy elves like - earrings and figurines and Legolas dolls. We should be able to make a rich trade with them for something that isn't totally useless sissy crap.
In other news, the child created a crown! Its incredibly useless, really. Why couldn't he have made an Artifact spear or something I could have given to our military forces? I think the simple answer is that children are dicks. Short, screaming, fey-mood taking dicks. I can't wait until he grows up so I can break his back with mining labor. Oh, here is the crown he made.
Oh, a troll showed up.He doesn't seem to be doing anything, but I guess this just means I need to step up and form a milita sooner or later. Hopefully later, because I'm not altogether. Oh wait, there is a squad. I sent them off to kill the troll, but they don't seem to be doing much. Useless. Useless. At least the troll doesn't seem to be hitting dwarves, but honestly I can't tell the troll apart from my own dwarves. In the chaos I cannot seem to get a trader to the depot, but the elves mostly have crappy stuff, like berries. I don't need berries.
Hematite
The troll has buggered off. I don't know where to. Sadly, a kobold thief showed up. I sent the useless squad after him. They probably won't be able to catch him, but frankly I don't care very much. Its not as if we have rose gold laying around for the taking. Speaking of taking, as I thought the elves had jack all to trade. Mostly berries. I traded for all the booze they had - sissy pink strawberry wine will still get you hammered eventually. I also picked up some seeds and a couple of berries. Maybe the farmers can do something with it.
I also got the magma channels installed, so I reordered smelters to be added. Two more of those, to start reducing ores to bars. I also included a kiln and a glass furnace in case we find a use for them. For now I'm continuing on clean-up and trying to get a barracks going for a militia. A well trained and useful one. I'm not certain what to do with squad useless beside keep them useless. Oh, and also I dug down to semi-molten rock, so no deeper for us! In other news, the cavern hosts a massive underground lake. I need to figure out a way to make some kind of pump to bring it to the surface.
Malachite
Work is proceeding. I am currently examining the underground lake and considering a method for pumping it up higher. I'm not certain how high I'd need to pump it. To the farming level, perhaps? Maybe not even that high. Ambition is calling on me to devise a pump method to create an obsidian chamber. There is magma aplenty, and water close by. I could theoretically do it all with floodgates, if I wanted to be clever. I will continue to consider it.
After I considered it firmly, and I went ahead and sketched out a simple obsidian reactor. We have magma-safe obsidian available on the cavern level to make floodgates and doors out of for safety. Level 161 will be the reactor room itself, just a big room carved out of natural rock down there. One level up would have the same space carved out. Channels down allow for access, and for the magma and water to flow into the chamber below. Floodgates would be installed on this level. Another level up is where the levers would be placed, and a link up for the main stairway.
I also disbanded the local useless squad. When I was rounding up a new group of brave dwarfs to join the militia they all said, 'Oi, The Jackal, you've kill more dwarves than anybody else here! You oughta lead!" While technically true, I felt that this wasn't applicable. They didn't listen, and now I'm stuck commanding the local fail brigade. Death is imminent, via reactor or my own military incompetence. Awesome. Hearing of the upcoming death, we attracted no migrants. I'm not surprised, we have no meat. Plenty of plants. I ought to butcher some of these cats running around, or cows, or bulls, or horses - I feel like I'm living in a gods be ZOO!
Speaking of zoo, a certain species of critter has reared its head. A mayor. He's mandating all kinds of good that I don't feel like making, and demanding beautiful quarters and such. I really don't have the time or energy to devote to making him happy, but I suppose I should. Otherwise we'll tantrum spiral, and thats no fun.
Galena
I am building the mayor some quarters, and hopefully will have them decorated soon. Work all over is proceeding slowly, but we have too few dwarfs. Food stockpiles and booze and plentiful, and the core duties are being handled. The militia is training and training hard under my slightly inept capabilities. Also a trader has arrived! Human, too, so he might actually have good stuff. Excellent! I've ordered crafts taken to the depot, along with some gold bars. Right now gold isn't as valuable as more practical metals or items.
Oh no, another dwarf has been taken by a mood. Make a weapon, damn you! Oh, a mason's shop was claimed. Hopefully something nice and shiny will be made, and I can stick it in the mayor's quarters to shut him the hell up. Somehow I doubt it. I have the worst luck with this kind of thing. In other craft news, my father's advice to have a Craftsdwarf workshop set to make rock crafts continually has paid off. Already in the depot we have 1600 trade currency worth of rock goods. The humans have; cheese?, and leather and rat weed and crutches? What? Cloth and leather and berries. Its like I'm trading with elves! Gods be useless. I traded for some booze, some meat, and a quantity of leather. Maybe we can make something useful of that later.
Oh, and I totally missed it, but a snatcher stole a baby. I need to figure out how to prevent such things from happening in the future. I wish I knew how to control the drawbridge.
Limestone
Autumn has arrived. Work is still proceeding on all fronts. I've ordered the magma force to produce some weapons and chains. The chains need to go on dogs in cavern below, to help prevent intrusion. The mayor's quarters are coming along well enough. Finally a mysterious construction has begin. I can hardly wait to see what it is my addled dwarf will create!
Its a millstone. A MILLSTONE.
I don't even know what to do with the damn thing. Its not like I have pumps or windmills currently running. Maybe another overseer will manage to do something with it.
Other than that, things have actually settled down into kind of a comfortable routine. My current idle-count is at zero, and I like it that way. Busy dwarves are good dwarves. Its kind of nice, to have stockpiles in the triple digits, dwarves feeling rather happy, a fort that is working. Stone is still a bit cluttery, but as they get turned into crafts and blocks that will go in time. The only minor hitch is the Mayor griping about his quarters. I'm going to smooth and engrave the stone there, install a few statues. That should help him out I think.
Sandstone
Alright, the mayor is just a jerk. Sorry Zoey, but I swapped you out to a slightly smaller set of offices and quarters just because this damn Mayor wouldn't stop yelling. Engravings and statues and armor racks better please him or I'll lock the jerk in my magma reactor. Here are his new digs. Aren't they nice?
Whoops, lost the image.
I think his yelling is scaring the migrants. We got no new arrivals this season. I'm starting to feel a bit guilty about my performance as leader during my tenure here at the fortress. I have also decided to turn some of our wood into screw and pipe components. The mechanic's shop has also been ordered to make a matching amount of mechanisms. Stone coffins are on order for a possible tomb - I can't have any of the dead be forced to lie without dignity. Since it is all wood, its only good for pumping water from the underground lake however. This might be just what we need though. Winter is fast approaching, and there isn't much more I can do before I lose my position.
Finally the chains are done. I've put two war dogs down by the doors to the main stairs. They should scare away anything nasty, or at least give us some warning before something terrible occurs. I should probably figure out a doomsday magma weapon to flood the entire lower caverns in case some super demon claws its way up and out. That would be bad of course.
I think I might be going insane with magma madness.
Timber
I have gone ahead and begun construction on the tombs. I have designed single tombs for the most important and named citizens. Myself, Zoey, and Still. A larger communal tomb is under construction for miscellaneous dwarves. The single tombs will boast three statues each, and rich engravings. The communal tomb will have a statue per coffin, and possibly wall engravings.
Here it is in progress.
Oh god. An ettin zombie has risen. I send myself and my band of militia to kill it. The gods be with us.
Hey, we killed him! I can't tell who did it, or how, or when exactly, but it ended up dead. So thats good news and all, what with him being dead. This makes me a happy dwarf. I'm also pretty sure that none of our dwarves died! Victory! Success! My militia is worth the training and effort and weapons and other such things. Beer for everybody!
Moonstone
Winter begins, and things are pretty mellow. Idlers are at zero, which makes me happy. Work is progressing. Traders have arrived, lets see what they have. A scam. These traders decided to totally scam me by taking a massive profit. I gave in reluctantly to them just so they would come back and trade with us in the future. Jerks. There is better news, though. A Liason showed up, and he has remarked that its a very pleasant place! Hopefully soon we can get more migrants to bolster our workforce and populations!
How lovely, a craftsdwarf workshop has been taken over by a feymood dwarf. Hopefully he won't start screaming for something we don't have. Hey, here comes a liaison from Mountainhome! I hope we can get the dwarf seal of approval! Just about then, mysterious construction begins. Yay? Oh. A crown.
I'm beside myself with my wonder at this crown.
Opal
The tombs are complete, the private three for the leaders thus far, and the communal tomb. The communal tomb can house nine coffins, and sadly several of them are already filled with remains that had been left out in the sun. The SUN! These dwarves were simple stone crafters, bowyers, cooks, and farmers, but they deserve a more dignified treatment than to be left in the sun like garbage! I swear that I will do everything in my power to safeguard those that live, and if nothing else assure them a peaceful rest in rock and statuary. I hope that the next leader will build another communal tomb chamber using my design, so no dwarf will go unburied once my construction is filled.
The forge is running 24/7, as are the smelters. I've started a continuous process to make serrated discs. Disc traps are going to feature heavily into the upcoming fortress defense package. I figure a few thousand scattered across the landscape like a field of metal ambush spiders. Also, work ran dry, so I re-instituted work program 'Drag all the rest of this damn rock clutter outside!' to keep everyone busy. A busy dwarf is a happy dwarf!
Obsidian
Nothing new. Continuing on my cleanup efforts to get this fort smoothed out and uncluttered.
****FINAL REPORT****New Rooms: Tombs, Mayor Quarters, Cavern, Barracks, Misc Stockpiles
New Orgs/People: Effective Militia, Mayor
Discoveries: Underground Cavern, Underground Lake
Further Projects: Beautification, Reactor, Pump System
Comments: I don't feel like I accomplished much in my year at the fort. I was hamstrung by a severe OCD over stone clutter, and a general amount of flail because I was unsure what to do. Some positives were the militia and locating the underground lake. I think the tombs are nice as well. Honestly for the next person, I think you should gather up the obsidian I found, make some magma-safe supplies and build a reactor. With that we'll have plenty of obsidian and can make a moat and everything.
That is the end of my turn. I wish the best of luck to Legion! You'll be able to find my save file right here for you to download.
http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=3024
