Bay 12 Games Forum

Dear Tholtig, mechanic of Luremachines:

DO YOUR JOB RIGHT. You are the head mechanic (by virtue of being the ONLY mechanic), and as such are my front line against the elven menace. If you cannot hook up a bridge, floor hatch, and door so that they are open and closed at the same time, YOU FAIL. Please fix this issue, before I dig down to the magma just to throw you into it.

P.S.: NO BREAKS UNTIL THE DROWNING TRAP IS DONE. 

The most entertaining part of a loyalty cascade is watching the last remaining dwarf get chased around by 36 animals who recognize her as a threat. This is also the most annoying, because she WON'T STOP LONG ENOUGH TO GET MAULED!

I've forbidden all the food and booze, though, so she should die eventually. Graycoal MUST fall!

AND IT HAS! Okay, time to see if there's a hot and forested embark in this world with a flowing water source that's not savage.

Belrisen has a drowning trap! For the elves. Assuming what I read about how in 40d elves would go to a wagon-inaccessible depot if it's closer is true and still applies now. Anyway, BWAHAHAHAHAHA. It's late Spring of the fort's second year (year 7 of the world), hurry it up you cannibal hippies!

Also, first mood. One of the founding fathers, Avuz Nilstizash the carpenter, was taken by a fey mood and demanded two logs and a metal bar. I set up a smelter and wood furnace and got him a silver one. C'mon, c'mon, you're a carpenter, gimmee something awesome and practical...

... a barrel. Okay, a barrel worth 15600 dwarfbucks, but it doesn't even have any entertaining images on it! It's just a highwood barrel studded with silver, encircled with bands of highwood, and it menaces with spikes of cedar. SCREW YOU okay fine you can live you are a Legendary +3 carpenter now. STILL. ... okay so I could put it in one...

EDIT: ffffff they prefer wagon-accessible depots. I managed to deconstruct that one before they got there, though, and I'm now draining the water out of the trap.

EDIT2: FFFFFF I knew embarking on an untamed wilds would cause nothing but misery. There's a giant capuchin mangling a cook right now. Goddammit.

Revenge of the EDIT: In the entrance. Aaaaaaaargh.

AND KILLING ONE OF MY MINERS AAAAAAAAAARGH

The EDIT Strikes Back: Welp. Four giant Capuchins, two with names. Also a giant grasshopper. 19 dwarves, from 24. 3 ecstatic, 1 happy, 6 content, 2 fine, 4 unhappy, 2 very unhappy, and 1 miserable. FFFFFFFFFFFF (And one axedorf from the original 7, among the unhappy. I'm screwed.)

Quote from: rtg593 on April 05, 2012, 04:36:59 pm

Quote from: Lielac on April 05, 2012, 04:34:39 pm

Quote from: rtg593 on April 05, 2012, 04:31:21 pm

Quote from: Lielac on April 05, 2012, 04:30:11 pm

Quote from: Japa on April 05, 2012, 04:08:21 pm

They can carry the minecart between two of them.

Also they could be african parrots and keas.

Nonono, they'd have to be swallows!

Only if it's an african swallow.

What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

African or European?

(It would definitely have to be two, though.)

In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?

:p

I do believe so, yes.
Minecarts are heavier than coconuts, don't you think?

What if you make them out of adamantine?

Also, @rtg: That doesn't give the air-speed velocity, just their wingbeats per second.

They can carry the minecart between two of them.

Also they could be african parrots and keas.

Nonono, they'd have to be swallows!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

E-LE-VATE!

Oh hell yes, Daleks. (I vote for Old Greg testing Weeping Angels.)

Dwarves were bound to hit rock walls with something, Originally many different tools were invented, and the miners were told to take their pick   

Oh Armok ow.

Not gonna lie, I only draft male dwarves. If you could tell when a female dwarf was pregnant and if mothers would put their kids in daycare instead of carrying them around for the first year of the sprog's life it would be different, but the hit to dwarven happiness from dead babies outweighs the personal amusement gained from dead babies, and the micromanaging from moving out newlywed women doesn't interest me, so it's a male-only military here.

Of course, this assumes I actually make a military and don't just make a dodge-em trap suspended 14 z-levels above the surface the only way into my fort through pulling one lever strategically placed in the middle of my dining hall.