Bay 12 Games Forum

Kind of upset at myself. I'd like to learn to be more artistic. Every time I even dip my toes in I get so sickened with myself I stop right away. I have pokemon paint on my 3DS, and that got to be too intimidating real quickly. Just getting over my self-hatred in this regard is maddening.

I got a free trial on Skillshare, just to try it out. The idea of self-improvement is nice, but when I'm at the door I freeze. Though I did open up a video, of Sketch Journaling. I tried to come into it with an open mind, but the slow simmer of toxicity within me soon reached a boil. The instructor, a beautiful young woman, objectively speaking I could tell she was giving an honest good effort, but all I could *feel* was "WOW HOW LUCKY YOU ARE TO HAVE BEEN BORN SO FORTUNATE, SO BEAUTIFUL, SO UPPER CLASS, SO HAPPY! YOUR LIFE IS JUST SO SPOTLESS AND CLEAN AND PERFECT, IS THAT HOW YOU THINK THE WHOLE WORLD IS?! YEAH FLIP THROUGH YOUR PHONE TO SHOW US *EXACTLY* HOW WONDERFUL AND AMAZING YOUR LIFE IS! OH WOW WHAT A WONDERFUL SPOUSE AND FAMILY! WHAT A PERFECT LIFE THAT GOD HAS BEQUEATHED ONTO YOU!" ...

...

It's very spiteful and petty, I know. Envy is a sin for a reason, I know. What I'm trying to say is it is exactly this kind of inner toxicity that I feel keeps me from actually improving myself and unshackling the chains of my own self-sabotage and finding happiness in my own life.

Creativity is a good way to get those feelings out of your system! i'm a big boring bitch so I like to write more, but I can tell you that getting that toxicity out onto paper whenever I feel it is 100% better than letting it eventually blow up in my face. Is it drawing in particular you want to get better at, or just art in general?

Did we not have another philosophy thread previously?

Did it not turn out about as well as this one?


In other news, my favorite classical philosopher is Epicurus. Not that I really know much about him, he just seems like a fairly chill dude, and that's something I can respect.

Classical cynics are cool too, but I don't work out much so I can't in good conscience consider myself one.

Pshhhh classical philosophers are all bitches. If they weren't alive after the rennaisance I don't give a FUCK

Fuck all of "the haters" John Milton is hands down the realest bitch to hath breathed on this Earth.

Two of the friends I've spent a Lion's share of my time in college with might be substantially toxic individuals, in hindsight. I don't like the way either of them treats women or gay people (the fact that I'm bi might make me take this a little more personally), I don't like how they act when they drink, and I really don't think either of them bring anything positive to our friendship.

I'm sort of outta ideas on what to do though. We live pretty close so it's not easy to avoid them. Whatever I guess.

In all honesty I should be focusing on getting my ducks in a row so I can graduate already. But everyone needs emotional validation, right? Which is a complicated way of saying I just want to sluts it up to feel better, which makes it harder to focus on classwork and makes me feel worse.

On top of all that I really thought I could do the whole "closeted" thing as long as a few of my friends knew, but... Well, I've gotten too used to flirting with just about anyone, so when I'm hanging out with my brother and I run into a cute guy at the movies or w/e...

Man, I've just got a lot of irons in the fire.

Meanwhile in the lovely state of GA, Kemp has officially won with about 68k votes over Abrams, not surprising when you consider his beefy grassroots campaign he's been running for the past year.  Abrams is saying we shouldn't call it yet because there's about 80k mail in ballots that haven't been counted yet (then why has the race been called...).

Before the election I was reasonably sure Kemp was going to win, and honestly it's very unlikely these mail in ballots are gonna change much.

edit: y'know call me what you like but maybe democrats would win more elections if they weren't idiots. Did you know it took until fucking last tuesday for someone to realize Kemp being Chief Election Officer and a candidate might possibly be a conflict of interest? This lawsuit should have been submitted a fucking month ago, this is ridiculous.

Quote from: hector13 on November 04, 2018, 10:04:13 pm

Race has nothing to do with black people being armed robbers though. Trump has been de-humanizing critics and various other groups since at least his candidacy announcement, and that has enabled (if not encouraged) more troubled members of the conservative movement to act on that.

Not all conservatives are going to take him at his word,  but the fact that the rest of the Republican Party are not calling him out on his frankly dangerous rhetoric makes them complicit in what he says and by extension what it causes to happen.

Fakeedit: and by Republican Party I mean national politicians; senators, representatives, etc.

Yep. This. If someone's actively choosing to be part of an ideology currently controlled by a man who's called his political opponents traitors and foreign immigrants criminal rapist drug dealers (etc.), advocated violence against the media ("I'll pay fees", remember?) and equivocated neo-Nazis with the people protesting them among many other things -- and is still overwhelmingly popular among members of his party even now that the bodies are starting to pile up at the hands of people who are also identifying as conservatives and is still pitching demonstrably dangerous rhetoric to huge, cheering crowds of conservatives, if they're still saying "yep, I'm with them" after all that, then what else are we to make of their continued membership in that group other than, at the very least, being on some level accepting of what's happening?

What are they supposed to do? Every election cycle is inundated with people screaming about how a third party vote is throwing your vote away, and the entire conservative news cycle tries it's damndest to demonize every Democratic candidate they can. You could say that they have a moral imperative to vote Democrat or join a third party, but almost all of them are going to think that it's easier to change the Republican Party from the inside (kind of like how left-leaning democrats want to vote Democrat - not because it's the option in line with their beliefs - but because they want to bring the party further left and that's easier than forming their own party).

Let me put this into perspective, and get a little more specific, I guess.

I go to one of the better universities in GA, and I was a member of the College Republicans with a friend of mine (him for a few years me for a few months, cause I had just transferred in). Now, about 90% of us (about 300 people) were "NeverTrump," all supporting other third party candidates. After Trump won, there was basically a Night of Long Knives situation from the national level down to our little organization. Basically, noone was allowed to hold a leadership position if they were against Trump during the election. Naturally, this meant the leadership council for the CRs is now full of dipshits.

We're biding our time until we can get the dipshits out of power, basically.

I don't the exact time he posted it, so unless we know when, let's just wait until tomarrow to make sure we wait 24 hours.

https://twitter.com/tobyfox/status/1057987819765936128

Also, don't use the uninstaller! per Toby on twitter it apparently deletes the entire directory your game is in, and since the default is your program files...

You make me feel so amaaaaaaaazing~

A bit of a stoner jam but it's got a killer hook and some fantastic flow and wordplay from Logic. YSIV was a disappointment outside this song and wu tang forever tho