"Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, not good!"
Preform a tactical retreat and fix my bleeding problem. With karma! Have Mylio do whatever she wants this time.... maybe touching herself willl do something... like touching that one guy shriveled up his leg... er... well do it anyways! If I get challeged to a rap battle by a crappy rapper named Billy Snow, accept the challenge.
You crawl out of the building, but get interrupted...
Rap battle Evil Unlucky.
"My name is Snow,
As yo' ass may know,
and I am here today
Before to death you go!
And it had to be so;
'Twas inevitable,
attack all who y'know
Just like a stupid ho'!" BETTER THAN AVERAGE: No penalties.
"I'm a whore? You would know,
From watching your mamma go
To work. You win? No." DO NOT GO THERE: -2 to next Enemy Roll.
"You think you're smart?
You think you're cool?
Then why are you
Bleeding out a red pool?
It's 'cuz you're pathetic
And pretty weak.
So listen to my awesome
And try not to go 'Eek!'" RECOVERY: Penalty removed.
"If I'm weak, what does that make you?
It makes you, um...something something shoe?
Hey, you try rapping when bleeding from your chest!
It's not the way to make rhythm work best..." BLEEDING NOTED: -1 to future rolls
"You have lost your advantage,
And surely that will stick!
For I am the One Rapper
And rappin' is my schtick.
I've rapped in every battle
From here to Kingdom Come!
And when I get it rollin',
My triumph won't be long!
And so, I will now conclude
That you rap like a duck-er.
It's only your own with whom
You could be a mo--" (trips) PRATFALL: -1 to Rolls
"Do you REALLY think you can win
If you trip over your feet?
Maybe if you had a twin
And both of them...um...chest wound, okay? Not a good time!" STILL MORTALLY WOUNDED: -1 to Rolls
"You wanna see a wound?
Soon you will be entombed!
And I will get you there faster
For I am the--ow!" THAT HURT LIKE A BI--" -1 to Rolls
"You just hurt yourself kicking me? Pathetic." HURTFUL BUT NOT RAP: -1 to Rolls
"You wanna rap?
Then rap, you fool!
For your words are crap
And you are a tool!
You're dead in the ground
And dare to challenge me?
I'll have yo' ass a-broken!
You really shoulda flee
When my words were first a-spoken!" BRAIN DAMAGE: -2 to next Enemy Roll
"So I'm a wreck
And almost dead
But you have the nerve
To claim my head?
The simple fact is,
I've bested you twice!
Now you come to get me
Before I'm finished by mice." RECOVERY: You probably stop getting penalties!
"Your claims are big
And kinda hurtful
But you're as a fig
Under a turtle--
Fit to be crushed
With no other fate.
Your brains already mushed
And your words fulla hate.
You wanna hate on something?
Hate on yourself!
If your attitude's one thing,
It's like a freakin' elf!" WEIRD METAPHORS: -2 to next Enemy Roll
"No racist meme
Nor claim of cream
Will make me fear
You smear of seme." WHAT DID HE CALL ME?: -1 to future Rolls
"...What did you call me? I can't believe it!" COMPLETELY LOST IT: And the battle!
This hurtful comment makes poor Billy Snow get -1 Attribute Point. On the other hand, victorious Evil Unlucky gets one, and a shining feel of gold manifests over him. Looking down, he sees a chain shirt of gold on his chest, stained red by the wound.
"...I finally have a shirt..."[3+1-4] In case I didn't hint at it enough, Evil Unlucky bled out, grin on his face. No Attribute Point can save him now...but hey, he survived being stabbed in the chest long enough to best Billy Snow a third time.
Only stone Unlucky if he loses. Respectfully wait and watch the battle.
Well, it's a bit late; a little fall of rock can hardly hurt him now. But
darn, is that Lucky impressive...and Billy's not a very good loser. (Well, he's good at
being a loser, but you know what I mean.)
As Unlucky dies, you feel full of power...2 Attribute Points, 2 Karma Points, and a sapphire badge of power.
"Argh, how do I..."
try to heal tea girl again.
[1+1] "Why isn't magic easy?"
Just...lay here I guess. Wave an arm or something to signify that I need some fucking help.
Somehow, no one is paying attention to you.
Make Mylio my pet before finding some water.
Mylio needs a new owner, and she chooses you now that she doesn't have to attack you. Just as you hug your new pet mini-chipmunk, she turns into a fish-lady again. At least she's still only a bit over 2
1/
2 inches (a bit over 6.5 cm) tall...
As for tea, [10+1] you now have a fine tea party which would be fit for the Queen, at least when the Royal Family was camping or something. And under the circumstances, that's pretty darn good.
[9+1] Even better, your bleeding has finally stopped!
Stay out of the way. Also edge round to that vine covered boulder and see if there's any way to attatch the vine rope to it.
You could tie a rope to the vines, but then you're depending on the vines being connected to the rock sturdily. [6-1] There is also one little outcropping you might be able to tie a rope to.
Squintage the Tinkerer appears!This...did not end as expected. You are in some kind of building, covered in an odd mixture of blood, brains, and botanical matter. There's a moving headless woman in one corner, and you can hear some guy protesting about how he should have won "by default". Oh, and you seem to have a weird polehammer. The pole is made of wood, which you're certain isn't the paradigm; so it the "spike" sticking out one end. He looks about and notes corpses to the south and what appears to be a tea party to the west. That complainer is
really getting on your nerves...
-----
Real life calls, so I can't make the map. Remind me later.
