Since no one really commented, I'll pop in to drop off the experiments, then we can investigate the strange signal. Because I
am trying to set up some plot in this sandbox LP.
I'll be damned if I've figured all of it out yet, though.
Anyways, there's a tiny little issue.
Pay no attention to the Ike in the background. Even if we all like it.Well, I know what I'm gonna do. See, it's possible to get to orbit and even fly home from Minmus using only your EVA pack, assuming you don't mind re-entry effects or splattering when you land. I don't intend to go that far, but I might as well try a suborbital flight.
...If the game loads.
I'm not sure which bugs me more, that the screen is black or that the window isn't an even number of pixels to a side.Eventually, I realize that it's just night, thanks in large parts to the exact sequence in how I set this thing up.
Now that's (slightly) more like it!Turning my screen brightness up to max (I usually have it at the minimum value), I can actually see the Minmal surface and stuff! I turn it down to ~2/3 to stop me squinting, and I'm ready to go. I set out, and...why can't I control my flight from the map screen?
Eventually, I bring my apoapsis above 8,000 meters and prepare to burn forward until I land near the signal-generating thingy.
So far, so good.
I should probably quicksave, too.I start burning at 8,000 meters, coast up to 8,121, and just as I begin falling...
That's good. Now to land.Instruments suggest it'll be about eight or nine minutes to touchdown. Only two things to do.
Save early, save often.
This should help pass the time.
"All these beautiful sights no kerbal has seen before, and all I can think is, 'What I wouldn't give for a Mechanical Jebediah package right now.' I would really like to know how high I am above the rocks, which I assure you are nowhere near as soft as pudding so stop asking."
"Getting close to landing, Ground Control. No idea how close. Recommend that next iteration of space suits include Mechanical Jebediah instrumentation."I burn upwards to reduce vertical velocity. Then I fall. At this point, I'm within a few kilometers of the signals, and noticing it drifting sideways relative to me. I'm annoyed, then I remember that I can control this!
Um. IGNORE THE LABEL IT IS GIBBERISH.I burn upwards a bit too much, giving me more altitude, bringing me further from the signal. I also seem to be moving at an appreciable horizontal speed. I try to slow as we shoot further and further from the signal's source.
"I'm strongly considering just walking home. Especially since I'm at 40% fuel and haven't landed."I drift along, trying to see my shadow, proof of how close I am to the ground. I also try to lower my horizontal velocity, which has somehow increased, but every time I try that I drift higher somehow.
Then I see my shadow for a split-second.
Well, this is what quicksaves are for!I try to be more hands-off this time, although I intend to start killing vertical velocity around 3,000 meters. Of course, the sun is setting behind a hill (well, more I'm falling and the hill's getting in the way), so I can't see my shadow. All things considered, it's only a minor surprise that, unpausing after typing that, something happens a few seconds later.
Goddammit. F9.Let's try killing vertical velocity at 2900 meters. A 65-meter fall shouldn't be as bad as a 165-meter one, especially if I kill the vertical velocity again at 2850. Which I intend to do, if I don't splat again first. And I'll quicksave a few hundred meters lower than the last one.
The vertical velocity hits 0 at 2860, so I wait to re-kill until 2840. It takes five meters this time. I'm slightly below where I was last time I pancaked, and I'm moving pretty slow, so I should be good.
Goddammit, I knew I shouldn't have typed that!Alright, the horizontal velocity seems to be the big thing. So, let's try to kill that.
GOD! FRAKKING! DAMMIT!Alright, we need to kill both. Or else I failed to guess which way I was travelling and accelerated myself horizontally.
...
Or maybe I suck at landing and just want to finish this crap.
...
Every player reaches his breaking point sometimes. (Don't worry, after the crash I turn it off.)I've seen people do this by landing Kerbals on their heads. It's not cheating!
It is, however, a bit of a pain, given how much I bounce.
Eventually, though...
Rolling instead of bouncing hundreds of meters above the Minmal surface. Progress!...we come to a stop, with 2.02 units of fuel left. Now to walk the 5.3 kilometers to the signal. I'll just time-accelerate to make things--
Right. No atmosphere, so it defaults to non-physical....Now you're just screwing with me.
No crash damage on, no changes from yours truly, just gotta wait until--
Yup, No Crash Damage is still on. That means...I LANDED BOB LEGITIMATELY ONCE!FUCK.
CrapwhichwayamIgoingcrapgottahurrywiththisscreenshotcrapcrapmypostingwindowisopen--
YES! He bounced! And I'm only a couple kilometers from the thing that no one saw the label for, right?The camera spins as I try to adjust/slow my trajectory (please tell me I didn't just put myself into orbit).
WHY CAN'T I KEEP MY BIG TEXT-BASED MOUTH SHUT?!?F9...
YES!Another bounce...I may be getting the hang of this "not exploding" thing. Now I just sit back, wait for him to slow, and don't time-accelerate to an explodey doom while walking. I even came within 1,333 meters of the probe!
You know what would be kinda cool? If you got different EVA reports for flying safely over the Lowlands and tumbling out of control over the Lowlands. Because that's exactly what's happening here.
And I'll be walking a long way back.For some reason (probably relating to the spinning), the orbit keeps changing.
"I am going to vomit on international television, live save for an approximately one-sixth of a second delay plus whatever it takes to get from the satellites to the screens, which may add several additional seconds!"Eventually, the spins get under control. I try to slow my horizontal and vertical velocity, but I'm pretty sure I was accidentally adding to my horizontal at least some of the time. And I wound up going back upwards.
As Bob spins in a self-induced yawwy circle of self-induced "control," I notice something odd.
Is that a dotted line? And the dots seem to be flowing upwards, relative to the stars...Anyways! Bill bounces, flies, bounces and distorts, flies, rolls for a second, bounces, flies, starts to get control, bounces, spins out of control as he flies slightly, bounces higher, flies, starts to get control, bounces, starts to get control, rolls and gently bounces, lands, rolls a little, bounces less, and lands.
"I'll...I'll be fine...just give me a minute...to relax...maybe clean my helmet...somehow..."Well, it's time to set out and start walking. First, I quicksave, then I physically time accelerate, then I take a step, then Bob doesn't explode!
Bob shown here, not exploding.Note from slight Future to this Typing GWG: This takes a while, so I'm putting an HR representative here.
Well. We began the walk at MET 2:03:42:00 (largely from the aforementioned behind-the-scenes thing), and end it later. We'll be able to see how well this goes when we, wait I have a flag don't I?
...I'll save it for later. I should take some samples while I'm here though.
Crap, I accidentally planted the flag. I'll reload...crap, I have no flag.
I've managed 0.3 km in about 8 in-game minutes and I'm already quite bored.
The thing seems to only run green at 3x time acceleration. Might as well run it there, so I at least know how long it's taking me. It makes the animation more watchable, too--not just a vibrating mannequin, but a hopping guy. Still...I wonder...it took about 2-3 minutes to go 0.3 km. I have 29.3 km left, so that's 25-35 minutes left. I should run something I can watch in a background window. And it's been a while since I've watched another episode of Reusable Space Program...
Multitasking! Wait, I've seen 31 already.I slow down to adjust the direction, speed up, and...
Insert swears here.GOD. MOTHER. FUCKING. DAMN. THAT. UM. SHITTING. CUNT?
...Maybe not quite like that?I missed something, I think.
Please imagine the following in a rapid, high-pitched, squeaky voice.
"I am now flying along the surface. Again."I start walking once he stops rolling; he starts rolling again; once he stops again, I stand him up and quicksave.
The video ends and I'm still 26.5 kilometers from the thing. Alright, let's load up a new video...hopefully this'll last me to the end of the trek...
Wait, is that the same ad?Hm. That's not quite what I thought it was from skimming the title. Let's find something less old. Or at least something that aged better. How about "Tylo Or Bust"? Hey, a
different Playstation ad!
Holy
crap, this is taking a while. I've been at this over an hour, and I still have 24 kilometers to go. Granted, part of that was from the first time, but...jeez.
I get bored and perform an experiment:
1. Quicksave.
2. Turn time acceleration to 1x.
3. Turn on non-physical time acceleration.
Bob didn't explode, and we went along on our journey.
Two hours and ten minutes into the four-times-accelerated trek. I've just finished Tylo or Bust, and look what I saw:
Ooh, that's probably for the new version!It's a couple hours, but as I'm still 14.2 kilometers out I'll probably have time to watch most of it before I reach the source of the signals.
Oh, and we're below 3,000 kilometers now, so no non-physical time warp.
It's annoying that I haven't figured out how to turn off Chatterer. I've turned all the volumes I can to zero, but that hasn't done anything that I can tell.
I jump and jet a little. Rolling.
I jump again, running start but no jetting. Still rolling.
The sun is rising. That's nice.
I've been jumping every so often, but I just did a jump where Bob jumped mostly straight up, spun around, and landed on his feet. 9.5/10! I repeat the feat by holding down w as I leap.
I get a nice Munrise picture.
Still more than 10 kilometers to go...but we're almost 2/3 of the way there!Ten kilometers. Two and a half hours spent. Eight for poor Bob.
And now Kerbin is starting to rise.
And it's about a kilometer from where the last thing was!The question is, is this from the walking or Minmal rotation?
You know what would be neat? If the kerbonaut putting his arms in and out (from hitting the 'r' key) affected rotation speed.
Three hours. I think this is the longest I've spent on a single update for this.
I evidently walk along a contour line, as I switch from 2,951 and 2,952 meters above "sea" level.
Almost three and a half hours. If I jump, I can see the source of the signal 2.7 kilometers away. Or, I could if it was bigger. (And rendered that far out.)
Three and a half hours. We're within 1200 meters, so we're getting a meter display. I can definitely see a shining light shining off of the signal-thing. Probably.
Huh. I have no EVA propellant. When did that happen?
We're getting close. I'm almost close enough to see the shape of the thing!
I think?And now I'm close enough that the purple targeting thing vanishes.
And finally...
It took almost four hours IRL and almost twelve for poor Bob, but we finally got to...this thing. Whatever it is.Bob examines the thing. He reports that it definitely isn't something we made, and that it seems to be far more advanced than anything we could make. He has no idea how it got here, or what it could be doing. It's definitely transmitting...something...
