I MUST update tonight! MUST! NOT! RUIN! PERFECT! RECORD!
Even if it ruins my REM sleep!
This is actually on time!
Well, dang it.
My record is finally gone.
But I will rebuild it!
Damn it, Chrome, why did you crash, taking 2/3 of the turn with it and making me redo the turn on Firefox?
Ask the amalgamation to eject me, and then just pick off a couple magical girls to feed to the amalgamation.
This failed. You got a 2 or something.
Revive Samuel L Jackson in badass form, who has a large bonus. Team up with him against Ffhtyhryveyfhyugiwwwjriim.
You made Jackson a weird globby zombie.
try for a larger negative bonus
You succeeded.
Earn power by reconstructing myself to my previous, whole, form while maintaining my bonus.
You remade you too well, into one of those flesh blob thingies SCP-somethingorother makes when it heals you for too long.
Kill self. See what happens.
You rolled a 3. You only hacked off an arm.
Convert ash into lye.
[5] You turn into lye.
Become second in command.
[4] Sure.
Kill Self.
Respawn outside of the boss as head of new 'Hats' faction.
Summon Hatlings.
Try again!
[2] You are alive. [2+2] You summon a Giant Hatling to be Furtakarcichlordandrandomprisonertoo's hat.
superBlast the normal and is the "have no idea what is going on" guy, has some random voice in my head break the 4th wall and explain what the is going on so I can be lazy and not read the past 39 pages.
[1] "You are an awesome action hero. You can totally take that guy with the giant hat. Do so and you get a sweet reward!"
BOSS TURN:
Furtakarcichlordandrandomprisonertoo looks at Furtaka, its rebellious minion, and [1+100v1] ingests him.
The Mythbusters begin gathering explosives. [5] They gather an infinite amount of explosives twice and send one back in time.
Some Martians snag a Mars Rover. [4] They make a Hadron Rock Grinder but need to make it larger.
Steve looks around for someone to wrestle. [6] He wrestles the Death of Being Wrestled to Death by Steve to death. Again.
Various Foundation personnel try to contain Doomblade. [3+2+2v4+6] This just fails.
President Bush, the Second, [1] loses his re-election somehow. President Kerry starts changing the past.
Atlas decides to arm-wrestle Cthulhu, because why not? [2+2+1v2+3] They tie due to Atlas's strength.
Superman and Captain America arrive as well and get into an argument.
IF YOU WERE SKIPPED, YOU PROBABLY DIED.
No faction leader may have a faction leader bonus greater than half the number of the leader's followers.
Familiars and other weak minions always die with the faction, unless tied closely to the master.
One action per turn.
If you want to make sure your bonus is accounted for, speak up.
Infinite Featureless Plane of Death
Furtakarcichlordandrandomprisonertoo (+100)
Unharmed
Hats for Blood
Furtaka shoved in orifice
Minions:
Corai
Leader: World Golem (+8, +1 from Faction)
scapheap, Sailor Moon (+2); Pokemon: Pikachu
100 Animal Mascots (+1)
Blossom (+1); Pokemon: Charmander
Bubbles (+1); Pokemon: Squirtle
Buttercup (+1); Pokemon: Bulbasaur
Captain America (+2)
Cardcaptor Torika (+1); Pokemon: Porygon
Random Drunk Girl
Kitty Pride (+1); Pokemon: Ghastly
Pam Akumachi (+1); Pokemon: Caterpie
Pistachio (+1), GraveHaunter's Daughter, a twice-orphaned Froslass; Pokemon: Self, Abra
Sailor Mars (+1); Pokemon: Voltorb
Sailor Jupiter (+1); Pokemon: Magnetite
SCP-239 (+3)
Superman (+2)
LEADER: HEAD DEATH (+??)
Persus13, Immortal? (-4), Missing Fingers, Death of Getting Glared At Angrily By a Giant Salamander
Death of Getting Glared At Angrily By a Giant Frog
Doomblade, Fleshy Blob (+6)
LordSlowpoke (Confused!)
Pufferfish, Lye Genus Loci
Spinal_Taper, Former Crippled Cybernetic Hermaphroditic Improper Fraction Actress/Singer/Etc, Current Drunken Guy in a Bathrobe, In Japan
Xantalos, Complete Monster Downplayed Evil Genius Dignityless Maxwell Smart Former Smug Snake Former Clown
Adam Savage
Agents [REDACTED], [REDACTED], [REDACTED], and [REDACTED]
Agent [REDACTED], wearing NSCP-007 (+1)
Allosausus
Atlas (+2)
Cthulhu (+3)
134 D-Class Personnel
Dr. Bright
Dr. Clef
Dr. Gears
Former Zeus (NSCP-027) (+2)
Gyarados (+2); Pokemon: Alakazam (+2), Charizard (+2), Dragonite (+1), Snorlax (+1), Starmie (+1)
5,000 Hatlings
Jamie Heineman
Jane Freaking Goodall
1,868,668 assorted Magical Girl fans
Martians (3)
NPC!da_nang (+1)
NPC!Xantalos (+2)
NPC!Xantalos (+2)
NPC!Xantalos (+2)
NPC!Xantalos (+2)
12 Research Assistants
Pope
President Bush (the second)
President Kerry
President Lincoln
President Jackson (+1)
President Roosevelt (the first) (+2)
SCP-076-2 (+2)
SCP-105
Terry
Ursula (+3)
William Shakespeare
Zeus (+3)
Zoe Jackson
NSCP-001: The Living Tower. The lich's tower inhabited by the lich's spirit. Also Site-N01
NSCP-002: The Portal Gun. Xantalos the ASHPD. Decommissioned.
NSCP-003: The Pocket Monsters. Pokeballs and -mon. Uncontained.
NSCP-004: The Magical Girls. Magical Girls. Cooperative.
NSCP-005: The Feline Warrior. Knight Tiger.
NSCP-006: The Mad Hatter. TopHat. Uncontained.
NSCP-007: The Secret Agent. Employed.
NSCP-008: The Luckless Immortal. Persus13.
NSCP-009: The Dead Walking. Liches. Uncontained.
NSCP-010: The Toroidal Portal. Two big chinks of space that wrap around to each other.
NSCP-011: The Familiar Statue. SCP-███, or a [REDACTED] Angel.
NSCP-012: The Two-Edged Scimitar. A sword which cuts back.
NSCP-013: The Deadly Wands. Death Eaters'. Uncontained.
NSCP-014: The Changing Machine. SCP-███
NSCP-015: The Eye Spiders. Spiders which control people from their eyes.
NSCP-016: The Tough Creature. A nigh-indestructible and adaptive cephalopod.
NSCP-017: The Silver Golem. Decommissioned.
NSCP-018: The Cloning Mirror.
NSCP-019: The Laser Pointer. Part of a rifle.
NSCP-020: The Titanic Being. Atlas. Uncontained.
NSCP-021: The Infinite String.
NSCP-022: The Russian Spoon. It bends people.
NSCP-023: The Living Hut. Pufferfish.
NSCP-024: The Living Armor. Corai's magical powered armor.
NSCP-025: The Electric Boggarts. A race of creatures which are made of electricity and like scaring people.
NSCP-026: The Red Man. A person who turns things red by physical contact.
NSCP-027: The Former God. "Mortal"!Zeus
Should I have all NPCs act?
[/quote]