May 9, 2024: The May '24 Report is up.
News: April 23, 2024: Dwarf Fortress 50.13 has been released.
News: February 4, 2021: Dwarf Fortress Talk #28 has been posted.
News: November 21, 2018: A new Threetoe story has been posted.
Forum Guidelines
YOU MADE ME DO THISPut WHAT? [2-1] You knock out your teeth, causing massive bleeding. [3-1] The machine comes up with some sort of bars. [3-1v1] Cassandra cannot stop you from attempting your goal! [1-1] The T. rex reacts exactly as well to having stuff shoved up its rectal cavity as you would imagine. Respawn?
PUT TOOTH IN MACHINE THINKING ABOUT LAXATIVES
SHOVE LAXATIVES UP T-REX RECTAL CAVITY
RETRIEVE ARMS FROM SHIT PILE
PUT IN MACHINE WHILE THINKING ABOUT SWORDS
Become strong enough to put the Doomblade wall in the machine[6] You become an immobile chunk of muscle.
Respawn thinking about swords.[1] You have the legendary Sword of Damocles above your head! Then gravity happens. Respawn?
Rip brick off the top off doomblade wall and put in machine. Cooooooome oooooooon, Lucky dice! Give me a dagger![3] You get a chunk of rock resembling a knife. Does that count?
Keep Xantalos away from the dino, while trying to convince it not to eat people.[1v3-1] Xantalos shoves past you and feeds the dinosaur, who could use a name. As it eats Xantalos, [3] you convince it to not eat people unless it's really hungry.
Make a fort from this buildings.[5] Fortress made.
YOU MADE ME DO THISUm, you'd need laxatives for that...
SHOVE LAXATIVES UP T-REX RECTAL CAVITY
RETRIEVE ARMS FROM SHIT PILE
PUT IN MACHINE WHILE THINKING ABOUT SWORDS
[2] You have the power to watch television!Retrieve Bow to give to Misko when he respawns.Develop telekinetic powers to put the Doomblade wall in the machine
Feed medecine to Dino to make it vomit my arms back up.[2] It's not interested.
Retrieve vomited arms, put in machine while thinking about swords.
Sure.
Swear oath of loyalty to the machine and Furtuka and prrotection from those who would do them harm.
Pet the dinosaur, and let out a sigh of relief.[1] The dinosaur misinterprets this as "You're going to find everyone tasty, aren't you?"
"You're going to be nice and friendly to everyone, right?"
Just give them booze.[6] Success! They're destroying your files to make a megaproject in your honor.
Respawn thinking about battlemechs.[3] You are in a suit of powered armor.
I'd rather be a wuss than a moron..."I simply must put my hand in this unknown liquid or I AM A WUSS AND I REFUSE TO BE A WUSS."ADVENTURE!!!!Wait, why did Martin put his hand in the acid?
Because he didn't know it was acid, even though it was glowing green and was filled with glowing green rocks.
Since Furtuka decided to give me the bow, Practice My new bow. Attempt to get +1 to archery if it's my only action (which means I'm focused on it as opposed to, say, running away and shooting like a madman.[4] You do. While wielding a bow made from your own flesh and sinew.
What you mean, GM oh wait no arms.[2] It's a vest. It fits better than the robe, thanks to not having arms, but it's a bit chilly...
With my teeth, obviously.
Put my bathrobe in the machine, thinking about light, flexible, yet indestructible body armor that dissapates the kinetic energy of anything impacting it.
Give Misko the bow. Place the Doomblade wall into the machine[2] You can't lift it off the ground.
[3] Yes, but not a good one, and it requires your brain. Respawn?Give Misko the bow. Place the Doomblade wall into the machineOh thanks!
Now, what else does a Archer need? Hmm.
I wonder if a doomblade piece would make a dagger...
Tame the dinosaur.It licks you, evidently still feeling like it loves you. Nope, you'll only derm things if you use it as an Attackosaurus rex. Or are very creative.
Hopefully de-derming things!
The Warpstone expies?Wait, why did Martin put his hand in the acid?
Because he didn't know it was acid, even though it was glowing green and was filled with glowing green rocks.
Dwarf Fortress is a fantasy universe, but Toady has made it as realistic as possible.If the game is supposed to be realistic..Oh not this realistic argument. Paa-leese.(rolleyes)
-snip-
