A slightly more serious take on the "fighting the Final Boss" than Spinal_Taper's ★Minimalist RTD★ (couldn't find the Masterwork symbol). It's fair to say that seriousness ended by the time the boss turned everyone into Magikarp. Join by posting a race, class, and inventory. I had too much stuff here for inventory, so you can get one artifact (a unique and very powerful magic item), two magic items of normal power, three normal items, and a backpack. Don't expect to wear two magical hats at once or something, but you might be able to loot some stuff off of somewhere...
That's all the rules I can think of. Have fun and good luck!
Oh, remember: You can try scrounging for items.
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Party:
Sample
Race: Human
Class: Fighter
Inventory goes here.
When you die (yes, WHEN, probably by the hand of your party members), you will respawn with your original starting gear, but with your artifact replaced with a similar magic item.
Any items on you will be placed on the ground when you die.
Normal...well, normal as possible.
Unholy_Pariah
Race: Kelp-man
Class: Spell caster
HP: 100/100
Fleshwarper's Guise (iron mask which lets one change one's own form), because that's always his first action.
Mask of Disguise (iron mask which lets one cloak oneself in illusions)
Ring of deflection - bonus to defensive rolls or occasionally deflects attacks, either is good
Tattered leather tunic
Bloodstained orc shaman necklace
Shiny thin dagger
Normal... at least, as normal as possible.
Greenstarfanatic
Race: Human
Class: Demoknight
HP: 89/125
Half-Zatochoi
A Bombinomicon copy: Causes explosion upon death.
MONOCULOUS: A floating Eye Familiar that orbit one's head, firing off mini-missiles
Splendid Screen (shield)
Grenade Launcher
Grenade Bandolier
Norma....well, as normal as possible.
Doomblade187
Race: Human
Class: Ranger
HP: 125/125
Necklace of Nature (allows control of wild animals)
Trickster's Quiver (creates trick arrows)
Woodsman's Cloak (blends user in with surroundings)
Old Yew (normal longbow)
Nicked Dagger
Boiled Leather Tunic
Normal....well, as normal as possible
Objective
Race: Dragon
Class: Berserker Beast
HP: 150/150
Diadem of Disabling (negates nearby magic)
Ring of the Midget (Allows shrinking)
Enchanted Slade Armor (weightless to user, causes unholy damage by touch via splinters, slowly regenerates)
Draconic-Common dictionary
Diamond-tipped Claws
Saddle
LordSlowpoke
Race: Nymph
Class: Tourist
HP: 100/100
+2 Crossbow×2
Potion of Object Detection
25 +3 Darts
Hawaiian Shirt, made out of 20% "other"
1,591 gp
Credit Card
Normal...well, as normal as possible.
jetex1911
Race: Cutebold
Class: Acro-fighter
HP: 110/110
Fighter's Cloak -- Black cape, gives the wearer a small bonus to physical-defense rolls.
Short-sword of Ice -- Iron short-sword that has a cold aura, has a chance to cause Ice-elemental damage as well as physical.
Gauntlets of the Acrobat -- Leather gauntlets with a feather for a symbol, Makes the wielder much lighter than they normally would be.
Leather sandals -- Leather sandals, fit for a Cutebold.
Fireproofed wooden Buckler -- Wooden buckler with three gold coins painted on them, it has obviously been used many times. Fire-proof.
Red paint -- Red paint, used to apply warpaint with.
Satchel of holding (Normal Backpack)
Normal...well, as normal as possible.
Tylui
Race: Robot
Class: Pet Defective
HP: 25/25
Assigned Artifact: The Si
Let Me BLASST You a Question: Big laser gun emerges from ass much like the rhino birth scene, but more metal than naked!
SPIKE a glove: Electrified spike hands! OH tzzZNAP!
Hardened Adamantine Faraday-class exoskeleton: encases this little 2' bugger with some of the toughest stuff known to man! Reduces incoming damage. Also immune to electricity type attacks.
supa-fast servo-wheels for feet
basic robot innards
backpack
Normal...well, as normal as possible.
Cassandra
Race: Snakegirl
Class: Battle Mage
HP: 70/100
"Veindrinker", Artifact Titanium Scythe. Life-draining effect, transfers to Cassandra
Diadem of Healing.
Snake Battleplate +2
Knife
Shield
Hooded Cloak
Normal...well, as normal as possible.
:
Race: Half-demon Elf
Class: Special, caster/warrior (Unplayable by PCs!)
HP: ?-800/?
The Iron Crown (artifact, grants control over goblins)
Mithril Full Plate of Speed (does what it sounds like)
Cloak of Resistance (makes wearer tougher to hurt with special attacks)
Claimh Solais, stuck firmly in abdomen
The Despoiler of Flesh (artifact, allows reshaping of living beings)
Ring of the Reviled (cursed; grants undead abilities)
The Handy Haversack of Heward (artifact, backpack of holding, a few extras)
--Unknown
Minions:
Bits:
4 whole (140/165)
1 missing right arm (125/150)
3 arms (5/30)
2 legs (10/35)
A bunch of little bits (swarm, 75/75)
Inventory (if applicable):
The Cape of the Warrior (black cape giving a large bonus to physical defensive rolls)
Gauntlets of the Acrobat (Leather gauntlets with a feather for a symbol, Makes the wielder much lighter than they normally would be.)
Tattered leather sandals
Fireproof wooden buckler
HP: 420/675
Inventory:
Bronze scimitars
Leather armors
HP: 65/90
Inventory:
Orc shaman necklace
Igulv scale tunic
Ironwood staff
Half of an Objective!Magikarp fillet
Stomach stuffed with dragon's gear
HP: 100/125
Inventory:
Oversized plate armor
HP: 50/75
Inventory:
Cleaver
Bloody Apron
Neutrals:
83 workers
HP: 10/10 each
Inventory: Various tools
38 warriors
HP: 50/50 each
Inventory: Silver Spears, Iron Helms
6 taskmasters
HP: 75/75 each
Inventory: Nothing
3 myrmarchs
HP: 150/150
Inventory: Javelins, Golden Armor
2 Rings of Deflection
2 Bloodstained orc shaman necklaces
2 Shiny thin daggers
3 Splendid Screens (shield)
3 Grenade Launchers
Nicked Dagger
Ring of the Midget (Allows shrinking)
Enchanted Slade Armor (weightless to user, causes unholy damage by touch via splinters, slowly regenerates)
Diamond-tipped Claws
50 +3 Darts
3,182 gp
2 Credit Cards
Half-Zatoichi
4 Short Swords of Ice
Necklace of Nature (allows control of wild animals)
Trickster's Quiver (creates trick arrows)
Woodsman's Cloak (blends user in with surroundings)
Old Yew (normal longbow)
Nicked Dagger
Boiled Leather Tunic +2 Crossbow
Potion of Object Detection
25 +3 Darts
Hawaiian Shirt, made out of 20% "other"
1,591 gp
Credit Card
Full Zatoichi
Kelpman Ash, Goblin, and Snakegirl Tail Stew
ARTIFACTS:
The Fleshwarper's Guise, an iron mask allowing one to warp one's own flesh
The Dryad's Pendant (Controls and summons natural creatures)
The Guardian Crown (Negates nearby magic, immobilizes user and nearby beings when used. Deactivated when user is attacked or runs out of magic)
The Dart Launcher
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You have made it to the deepest depths of the dungeon. The Final Boss is before you. What do you do?
