Bay 12 Games Forum

Dear Daemon Invaders,
Please stop killing everyone. You have actually lost more than we have (not counting assorted livestock, cats, etc). You have also driven off the elven merchants, which normally I wouldn't mind, but this time they brought a GIANT FUCKING BADGER. I understand that by forging a large(ish) number of large, serrated disks I have increased my wealth, but seriously. Are you going to go back to wherever you hail from and show off some large, sharp, flat items proudly looted from our fort? Or maybe you intend to squat here once we're dead.
I have news for you. Next time, we'll be stronger. I am about to set up a danger room, expansions to our current trap system will be complete, the entrance corridor will be roofed, and I will have the barracks window replaced with some nice fortifications. You. Will. Be. Screwed.
Sincerely,
The one who WILL bring !!DEATH!! to your soldiers.

Next time, embark with stone and a cage, then try to make a mechanic's workshop before your dwarves get sat on to death by the giant bronze torso. Next try, try and turn a rock into a mechanism; then, try to make a cage trap. Repeat steps 2-3 until your dwarves' frenzied scramblings lead the paperweight into a cage trap.

Dear alligators,
DO YOU HAVE SOMETHING AGAINST WOODCUTTERS THAT ALSO FULFILL OTHER VITAL PARTS OF MY FORTRESS??
Sincerely,
GWG, Ovrsr.

Dear Mountainhomes,
I'm sorry that your diplomat had to leave without meeting with our expedition leader. However, there is a good reason for this.
SHE WAS STABBED TO DEATH BY A FUCKING GOBLIN SWORDSMAN!
Yours in capital letters and accidental entendres,
GreatWyrmGold, Overseer of Pickmouths.

Dear Athel Rewardbolt,
'Grats on getting first blood. You inflicted the first injuries on the goblin menace. Oh, and despite the fortress name, don't stick your pick in the goblin's mouth without going the rest of the way through the skull.
Dear rest of militia,
GO AND FIGHT THE GOBLINS!
Sincerely,
GWG, Ovrsr.

Dear civilians,
In order to get you to SHUT UP about not being able to reach outside stuff thanks to the alert, and to try to attract the gobbos to our traps, I have disabled the alert. Remember: If When you see a goblin, run TOWARDS the fort.
Sincerely,
GWG, Ovrsr.

Dear goblins,
There are a bunch of weak, defenseless civilians inside our fort. Just walk down out long, winding entrance area and ignore the carets...oh, wait, you left for some reason.
Sincerely,
GWG, local informant.

Dear fortress:
Our settlement, small as it is, repelled a goblin force. After four casualties, the foul beasts fled. We won...but at what cost? Several were wounded. Three military dwarves, our (second) expedition leader and broker, three alpacas, and a puppy were slain. All tragedies. Now clean up that mess! We might not mind the blood, but I don't want some kobold making off with all of our soldiers' equipment!
Sincerely,
GWG, Ovrsr.

Also, items you mark for dumping will be put into a garbage dump, not a refuse stockpile.

What types of tags would you need to add to scale and chitin to use them in a reaction to turn make them useable as leather if you added a custom reaction to turn "body parts" made of scale or chitin into "tanned hides" of scale or chitin?
(Yes, I've thought this through.)

Thanks. As always, Sphalerite, you are a genius.

Ahem.

$&J$F&&#)d#,<&lS'L.?3&&/&!!!
Oh, and $*&^&>< , too.

Even the full DF folder crashed it! I don't think I am physically able to do my turn.