Dear Urist McCook,
Do not cook all remaining booze in the fortress into one roast along with a single seed. How did you do that?
More importantly, why? We have no reliable water source, so we need that booze!
Ugh.
Sincerely,
GWG, Ovrsr.
Dear ovrsr,
you cannot stop my cooking art! next time, forbid me from using the booze. But that would make me sad. You don't wanna see the cook sad right?
A. I expected you to stop before you cooked ALL of it. Aside from seeds, booze is the most common food source we have. WHY do you cook DOZENS of drinks and a couple of spare seeds into roasts?
B. Get to work on brewing more booze. I will stop you from cooking it this time.
Also, "Ovrsr' is short for "Overseer." Please refer to me by my full title; the abbreviation is for brevity and my peers.
Sincerely,
GWG, Ovrsr.
(That last part wasn't aimed at you, shadeknight; I was saying that to the "dwarf" who ignored formality.)
Dear Urist McMechanic,
Why were you even outside? I told you to link up a lever to a bridge. The lever, the bridge, and your workshop are nowhere near where you were when you were "interrupted by a honey badger". WHY were you there?
Sincerely,
GWG, Ovrsr.
P.S. It helps if you run TOWARDS the fort.
Dear Urist McUselessthresher,
First off, what do threshers even do?
Second off. when I station you on a bridge, stand on the bridge.
Third off, if I assign you back to a burrow after you left to eat and drink, go there.
Fourth off, can you catch up to that cheetah?
Sincerely,
GWG, Ovrsr.
Dear cheetah,
Don't worry. That thresher? Can't fight worth a lick. It was only my desire to execute him in a more fabulous manner that saved him from those lions. You can take him. Kill him for me, and you'll be lauded as a beast who took care of one of the more annoying threats this fort has had to deal with! That stupid honey badger already left, so obviously I'm referring to the thresher.
GWG.
Dear Urist McNewthresher,
Help out Urist McUselesthresher. That is all.
Sincerely,
GWG, Ovrsr.
Dear Urists McMilitia,
I wish lions had been here instead of that cheetah. Go station yourselves on that bridge.
GWG, Ovrsr.
Dear Urist McWrestler,
Congrats on your promotion from Urist McRecruit, and formerly from Urist McMigrantThresher. This should make your bare-knuckles boxing with the jaguar more interesting.
GWG, Ovrsr.
Dear Urist McBadass,
Congrats on your promotion from Urist McWrestler. Now go kill that lion...
GWG
Dear Urist McStilluselessthresher,
Hurry up and kill one of those big cats! Or starve and dehydrate trying!
GWG, Ovrsr.
Dear Finwane, Lion:
If you kill Urist McStillUselessThresher, I'll help you choose a better name than you got from killing Urist McMigrantthreser-excuse me, Urist McBadass, he punched a jaguar to death, sorry. Good job, though.
Dear Urist McStilluselessthresher,
Your ability to discern what a stupid situation is has caused me to check to see if a...flaw in the universe's laws is still active. If so, you will live eternally in the volcano, never aging, never starving, watching other useless dwarves plunge past you. (Or maybe not. Extinct dwarves might mean only the two migrant waves. Ah well.) If it does not still work that way, then you will burn to death. Pick your poison.
And, if you die, next life, choose a USEFUL profession.
GWG.
Dear Urist McMason,
Please build those coffins and slabs for the soldiers that died fighting big cats or falling into the volcano.
