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1576
Remember when Old Spice released that playable character class? Or was that some strange hallucination?
Anyway, stuff like this is awesome. More RPG-themed advertising, please! As long as the game is playable beyond a funny headline, more power to 'em, even if I'm not about to eat at Wendy's because of it. Ew.   

1577
that evil monarch would be a fun d&d campaign
Yes!
I was thinking, rather than the problematic peasants themselves, players could play as members of a secretive organisation dedicated to dealing with those occasional doomed adventurers who manage to somehow overcome the dangers intended to kill them, such as what Reelya described.
Of course, these fledgling heroes would be flippin' powerful (be it through good luck or good management), but using your every bit of cunning, a large bag of dirty tricks and the element of surprise, your job is to put a stop to them before they can become a major problem for the government - whilst keeping it all as hush-hush as possible, of course!   

1578
General Discussion / Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« on: October 04, 2019, 07:45:59 am »
Wow, Drive-thru RPG used to be Drive-thru Comics? How long ago did it change name, I wonder?   
I reactivated my old account to download a free RPG and it turns out I have a handful of comic PDFs in my "library".   

1579
General Discussion / Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« on: October 04, 2019, 05:01:01 am »
Software updates are done for a lot of reasons including patching exploits and sometimes fairly major cryptological breaks that never really get talked about to the public for security. Windows updates might be incredibly annoying, but the security angle is actually real.
lmao what're they gonna do, steal the broke off me?   

1580
General Discussion / Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« on: October 04, 2019, 03:44:08 am »
guys you can just make it think your internet is a metered connection, and it won't even ask to update, even less so update automatically
Pray tell, how would one go about doing that?

Settings => Network / Internet => Wifi (if Wifi)

Then click on your connection, scroll down there should be a section for "Metered connection".
Ooooh, thanks! I did that and it hasn't whined at me about updates since. Hallelujah!   

Edit: wait, I celebrated too soon. Perhaps I'll have to look at those other methods.   

1581
You just gotta hope the person in charge of the dungeon knows what they're doing. *shrug*

1582
General Discussion / Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« on: October 03, 2019, 07:17:23 pm »
After a quick Google to refresh my memory it seems the Windows 8 one isn't that bad, the UI just looks slightly clunkier what with the drop-down menus for everything. Nowhere near as awful as the one I've got!   

1583
Perhaps a good solution for the tyrannical overlord of a fantasy realm to deal with the ever-present threat of uppity peasants would be to offer/advertise a lucrative, state-subsidised adventuring career, targeted at those most dissatisfied with their lot. That way the most troublesome, bravest villagers would weed themselves out before their discontent could bloom into full-blown sedition and rebellion.
Much better than martyring them yourself later and simply throwing fuel on the fire!   

Give 'em a grab-bag of recycled starter equipment and send them on their way.
I imagine for starters you could actually put them to use dealing with various minor issues around your own kingdom, such as pest infestations or goblin raiding parties or fledgling cults. It wouldn't cost you anything, almighty ruler - adventurers tend to be happy to work for whatever coin they can scavenge along the way and from the bodies, as well as the strange metaphysical concept of "experience". At worst they'd be taking pay from whatever folks around your kingdom have these sorts of problems they'd like dealt with. Ideally they would be kept moving, occupied and on the verge of death - no time to get too big for their boots.   

Once they start getting on their feet and learning their way around a weapon, though, it'd be best to send them on their way before they start to smell a rat - no pun intended. Entrust with them a grand, all-important quest into some distant other land where they are sure to die, or at least become someone else's problem.
Or - or - I have an even better idea!   

An especially astute ruler could enter a partnership with some villain-or-other with a nearby underground lair! Or, if they don't have an existing dungeon, you could supply them with a permit to build one in a quiet corner of your mighty kingdom on the down-low.
In exchange for you supplying them with a steady supply of woefully underequipped and unprepared "heroes" (victims) perfect for use as monster chow, fertilizer or undead servants (depending on the flavour of villain we're dealing with, possibly all three or more), they agree to not cause trouble within your borders and to do away with all your little "problems" as they come marching fearlessly into the meatgrinder.   


Of course, if this part of the plan works, I imagine before long the flow of adventurous volunteers would start to dry up, regardless of their hot-headed tendencies, considering none of those before them ever came back. There are a variety of possible solutions to this issue.
Perhaps your majesty could hire a troupe of talented actors and press them into the role of seasoned adventurers, touring these rural hotbeds of rebellion to wow the townsfolk with their tales of daring and glory, triumph and titillation? I'm sure many an impressionable young nobody could be lured away from their life of drudgery with only the occasional insurrection to spice it up.

Of course, then you still have the issue that none of those who left these villages ever came back. Maybe that wouldn't seem so surprising, considering how wretched their early lives were to begin with, but still - I'm sure some would suspect something.
Perhaps, one could have the aforementioned actors drop a name here and there, mentioning whatever great deeds Joe Blob the dirt-farmer went onto once he put down his shovel and picked up a battleaxe? Such a story here and there could work, maybe.

Another option would be to have sleeper agents inside the towns, mingling innocently with the townsfolk until eventually accompanying a band of erstwhile adventurers on their journey into the unknown - only, of course, to be ultimately spared whatever fate befell the rest of those troublemakers in order to return and boast of their deeds and adventures back home.
Alternatively, I suppose there could be a sort of Adventurer's Guild with a fairly high fee to join, which is peopled mostly by paid actors - but those who legitimately join it are told (at least part of) the truth and given two choices: A, assist the Crown in keeping up its charade by going on some mock-adventures before returning home to tell the tale, or B, die in an even less glorious fashion than the rest of these chucklefucks.   


Perhaps the cheapest option, though, depending on the availability of magic in the kingdom, would be to enlist the services of a spellcaster (does your majesty have a court magician? If no, why not?) to imitate the dearly departed "adventurers" (or perhaps simply reanimate their corpses, if there was enough left to reanimate) and act out their brief return to their hometown - albeit with a few scars and a colder, more distant disposition after all they've been through - before departing again in search of further glory.


Of course, all these options probably get rather expensive and, sometimes, risky.
Perhaps the best recourse is to simply keep an eye on the provinces and, if a place seems to have gotten wise to the whole adventure scam, just wipe out the village and bring in cheap goblin labourers from a neighbouring kingdom to tend their fields.
Hell, if those goblins ever get sick of their lot in life somewhere down the track, you could even sic a future band of adventurers on 'em! It's a perfect cycle, really.




Thoughts? I think there was more to this idea last night that I have since forgotten, but that's the gist.
Honestly, I would love to see a game with some of these settings/themes. I know plenty of games do the "dungeon keeper" thing where you defend against waves of heroes, but what if you were actually in league with the nation sending these heroes, and they're actually dissidents who you are helpfully disposing of in exchange for various benefits such as being spared the attention of a real threat, such as the realm's actual army? :D

And then there's the whole "government subsidised adventuring thing that's really a scam to nip peasant uprisings in the bud" thing.
Also the specters of the victims of said scheme, returning home to assure their kin that all is well on their quests, or paid actors, or an Adventurer's Guild that actually coerces those foolish enough to pay its fees into helping with their plot or dying??
I definitely think there's something here!   

1584
General Discussion / Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« on: October 03, 2019, 06:34:46 pm »
I have the world's most annoying cough and I think I ate something too spicy/dodgy recently and so I've been dealing with that as well. Dx   

1585
General Discussion / Re: The Movie Discussion Thread!
« on: October 03, 2019, 06:33:17 pm »
Sounds neat, superhero shite is hella overplayed. Both in movies and in comics.
Unless you're Robert Kirkman, I guess.   

1586
Noice! Congrats, both on successfully adult-ing yourself up a meal and on that meal being vegan. :)   

1587
General Discussion / Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« on: October 03, 2019, 06:29:30 pm »
Dont have a choice, it's windows 10, there's no way to turn off automatic updates. I left it running while I helped move stuff inside downstairs and it must have decided to restart because I didn't press the button to postpone it.

It's okay, I can return to dwarf fortress sometime next week.

guys you can just make it think your internet is a metered connection, and it won't even ask to update, even less so update automatically
Pray tell, how would one go about doing that?
I'd have about Buckley's chance of finding any useful options like that in the roiling chaotic mass that is Windows 10. ::)
My laptop almost fell victim to an auto-update last night whilst I was on the can and unable to stop it, but fortunately it wasn't too late.   



As for why I don't like updates, well, I can't say whether it's malice or incompetence but Microsoft's updates tend to be fucky in the extreme.
I get the feeling their idea of how they should be developing their platform and what I want from an OS are very, very different, too. Windows has been going steadily downhill with every iteration they release, with uglier, less-convenient UI changes and clunkier built-in programs, so I'd wager updates are probably similar. Plus, you have to worry if your computer is even gonna wake up from its update coma or not.   
If you ask me, the last "good" version of Windows was... well I dunno, I can't remember how much time I actually spent with each version. I know XP was aight, I think Vista was maybe okay too? I'd have to look at pictures of their UI to be sure, but the last few have been absolute useless piles of shit and I wish I could upgrade back to XP or somethin'.
God, they even fucked up Paint. How do you even fuck up so badly as to ruin something so simple? Arrgh.   

1588
General Discussion / Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« on: October 03, 2019, 02:49:41 pm »
Mac Tonight's rap album??

1589
General Discussion / Re: Food Thread: Kitchen Chemistry
« on: October 03, 2019, 10:12:47 am »
Hoo boy. Since my household apparently ran out of sriracha in my absence, I borrowed some of this "hot chilli sauce" I found in the fridge (don't worry, my housemates are away) for the quick meal of pasta+beans+spinach I was cooking - I haven't any official pasta sauce, hence why I was using this stuff (mixed with some sweet chilli and tomato sauce) in the first place.

I chucked a bit in there, stirred, and damn! The stuff singed my fuckin' eyebrows off.
Not sure how brutal this "midnight snack" is gonna end up being, haha.

1590
Other Games / Re: How did you last die?
« on: October 03, 2019, 09:53:38 am »
Re-installed the game for the first time in ages and started up a mercenary company.
Things were going reasonably well for a while, though my leadership skills were certainly somewhat rusty, but then I bit off far, far more than we could chew by attacking a necromancer's hideout in the hopes of gaining some renown. Long story short, I'd forgotten the best strategies for taking on necromancers and their undead lackeys, and we were swarmed and butchered since I hadn't sent enough skirmishers around the flanks after the necromancer himself.

I thought that was game over and wasn't overly upset, I'd been planning on getting the DLC and starting a new game anyhow - but then I thought, "hang on, didn't I have 13 men in my company?"
Sure enough, there was one fella left, presumably encamped just next to the scene of the battle/massacre, guarding our gear and listening to the gruesome sounds of his former comrades being feasted on. It cannot have been a pleasant time. When no-one came back, he gathered the stuff and fled.

To his credit, though, this one guy - Guido the tramp - decided to stick with the mercenary life despite this having been the first battle the company had seen since he joined. He wandered back to the nearest village, used the group's remaining funds (they'd been running a bit low already) to procure the services of a few more nobodies like himself (equipping them with the dregs of leftover gear nobody had been using) and set off again, managing to find another job.

So I mean, the show goes on. For now.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
   

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