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also i just remembered the RAVE GUN

it's just so perfect i can't even WORBDS

Thanks. I do have a safety net of sorts (my parents are willing to help me pay the tuition if i fail to earn enough dosh), but i'm kind of tired of always falling into whatever safety net i may have. I'm also tired of STILL being ruled so much by anxiety, even after group therapy (though it did help), but it's not like i can just decide to not be anxious or afraid any more. One of the most nerve wracking experiences i've had recently was to let my physiotherapist look through my sketchbook on his own. I am fully aware of how silly that may sound to most of you (it looks silly to ME when written down like that), but i was visibly trembling afterwards.

Also, i am extremely skittish about people looking at what's going on on my monitor, so for the most part when people (especially my confused moth of an older brother, who spends a disconcerting amount of time standing in the middle of the room while "contemplating") are looking, i bring forth a sufficiently non-descript screen that they're probably not going to take notice of and/or make comments to, and stay there until they go elsewhere. A crucial step towards living with my anxiety would be to let people look all they want, without reflexively pausing, minimizing or whatever. It feels really unpleasant, but i know i'll have to if i am to get anywhere. I also feel like i should probably tell my brother that the reason i am so goddamn jumpy about his floundering around is that my anxiety is fucking with my head. That, and i really don't care much for explaining everything on the screen, nor do i care for him backseat browsing when he has a computer literally two meters away that he could be browsing on.

Note to self: Stay away from broccoli, cabbage and other similarly gassy foods as much as possible.

>:I

I'm starting to see a pattern where i eat that kind of food one day, and then at some point during the next, my bowels go like "YOU HAVE MADE A MISTAKE" and go into cranky mode. Well, either that, or subconscious stress about dwindling money reserves and a lack of income is starting to get to me. :v

Some of the pranks/jokes are actually very elaborate and well made (Toribash forums have made some pretty fun ones), and those i approve of. It's also kind of funny to see what silly things that might show up, but generally, i don't care enough to do anything myself. Go ham or go home is what i say, and since i can't be bothered to spend any noticable amount of time trying to think up a hamtastic thing, i'm just going to keep an eye out for extremely obvious pranks. :v

Huh, that's kind of unusual, but hey, it clearly works. :v

also hi guise i drew some kind of comic about deer comfort radius


Suffice to say, i had fun with the last panel.

In the unlikely case that Kevak forgot to actually provide any information about said IRC (which i might very subtly be implying that HE DID), here you go. I personally don't have a problem with also keeping a Discord channel around, though i still have to stay away from text chatting until further notice. :<

Huh, i'll be darned. I'm reasonably good (but not like rock star quality) at figuring stuff out on the run, but alas, i don't have much confidence to back it up. :v
In any case, i applied for some thing where you go around and deliver adverts and stuff into peoples mail boxes, not sure what the english word for that is. Probably not very well paying at all, but at least it's very flexible, and it's better than nothing while i try to figure out other things.

also i so badly want to believe that i could just hold a long-running fundraiser for myself where i stream and doodle things and then people would shower me with money but alas

Bluargh, i've trawled through over 250 supposedly relevant job postings, only ONE of them does not instantly exclude me. Unfortunately, it starts at 7 in the morning, and neither my brain or my bowels handle such early mornings well at all, so that basically excludes me as well. Don't know how the hell i'm supposed to earn at least $2000 within three months at this rate. >.>