Bay 12 Games Forum

Quote from: Furtuka on January 04, 2014, 01:09:42 am

A broom with a smiley face painted bucket placed on one end, with rc helicopters welded to a series of metal hinges set to jerk about randomly in place of limbs, all stuffed into an X-Com uniform. A tape recorder has been taped to the broom's handle, set to rattle off quotes and catchphrases recorded from action movies and things the other X-Com soldiers mutter in their sleep. Submitted by a pair of drunken scientists as part of a bet over how low X-Com standards were. Unfortunately the recruiting officer had gone to the same party they had.

...Oops. >.>
Um...the batteries were dead. They'll be replaced next time. _Sorry.

<_<

>_>

So did Broomy actually get put in the dumpster?

No no, its on the squad and went on the most recent mission. Since its a pile of garbage however, it doesn't speak

Wait, I survived? I see myself on that list!

Wasn't sure which dialogue colour was mine in some parts. Was I the one wounded in action before we piled into the UFO?
Either way, that was exciting!

You didn't go on this mission. You and Britches had to sit out because the Skyranger filled up.

Monks don't get shortsword proficiency, pretty sure 

It's either improve the weapons I got or shoot for more wondrous items to improve other stuff.

ETA: Ooooooo. Necklace of Adaptation. Renders wearer immune to harmful vapors and gasses, and even allows wearer to breathe underwater or in a vacuum. I think I'll get that.

((Sorry for the delay! Got called back to cross-country work and my schedule went kablooie ))

Top Secret Log of the Marshall
January 2nd, 1999


New supplies began arriving piecemeal, mostly weapons and ammunition for the troops.

January 4th, 1999
More soldiers, scientists, and engineers arrived. I braced myself for another round of interviews...


: "You seem surprisingly normal."
"Sir?"
: "Never mind. Maybe we got a sane batch this time."


: "You say you want to, and I quote, "blow up those sunsofbitches and beat up whatever's left"?
"Damn right!"


: "...nice hat."
"Thank ya kindly, pardner."


: "Top secret cloning project?"
"Correct sir! I am the best of the best! Way better than my good-for-nothing brothers."
: "The brothers that are completely identical to you. Right."


: "OKAY, very funny guys! Get this thing in the dumpster where it belongs!"


He spent the entire "interview" twitching and playing with a lighter. He is not to be given a weapon until arriving on-site.


: "A combat robot, eh? Well, at least we won't have any next-of-kin to worry about..."


"I is Hooman. Ordin Hooman, yes. That is name. Give lots of explosive devices, yes."
: "...well, that sounds perfectly reasonable."

I can't help but wonder where HQ finds these guys.

January 5th, 1999


We got a new toy today. Might come in handy, though given how the last battle went I doubt we'll need it.

January 17th, 1999
All's quiet. Perhaps the aliens left?


Maybe not. Apparently Africa's been having plenty of troubles, but we don't have sensor coverage there.

January 19th, 1999


With this, we can attempt to capture aliens for interrogation...assuming we ever get a chance.

January 20th, 1999


Treating Redshirt's wound gave our scientists some insights in how to treat future injuries. These portable medikits should (theoretically) help keep soldiers alive.

January 21st, 1999


FINALLY. Er, I mean, another UFO appeared on the scanners. Interceptors scrambled right away, but it flew south and disappeared from the scopes before they got close.

Later


It came back. And this time it landed before we could detect it. We loaded the new recruits and equipment up and moved out.

January 22nd, 1999


Operation Irate Raptor


"Okay new meat, stick with me and you'll be fine!"


"I can see the UFO. Looks way more intact than the last one."
: "That probably means more hostiles. Stay sharp."


"SCANNING. NO TARGETS FOUND."


"Chris, Paladin, check the barn. It's too quiet here."
"Aye."


"OW! Something hit me! I think I'm okay though."


"This is DarkPaladin. Barn is clear."


"I-I-I think I see the thing that shot Superfly! Opening f-f-fire!...I hit it, but it's still standing! Help!"
"Taste payback, asshole!...Crap, I missed! We need fire support!"


"Got him."


"Hey Redshirt-san, I saw something run into that house over there!"



"AAAARGHhhhhhhhhh_hhh"
"Kyaiii!"
"Rookie killed. Alien in building to blame."
: "Eliminate that alien at once!"


"I see it! You guys need to get clear so I can blow it up!"


"Guys? I don't feel so good..."


"Hang on, I gotcha...there, that should keep you on your feet."




"GODdammit..."


"Just. Fucking. DIIIIIIIIE!"


"I think I found the entrance."


"Okay Command, we're just about ready to enter the UFO. Max, you're up."


"Nothing yet."


"Alright people, rifles at the ready. We don't know how many are still in there."


"Enemy spotted! Firing...he's hit, but still up! Chuck a smoke grenade!"


"Blaaaargh..."


"You bastards! Take this!...crap."


"Well, I got one. The other one is still standing though. Everyone, pile in! We'll take this one alive!"


*overlapping shouts, explosions*
: "What the hell happened?! Someone, respond!"
*long pause*


"N...not sure, sir. The alien fired at us, but missed. Someone shot and killed it, and a couple of bombs went off. The first one knocked several of us unconscious. The second one..."


I felt numb with shock. Records show that none of soldiers had any grenades ready; the smoke grenade was the only munition primed and thrown. Did the alien set off some sort of suicide device? We lost so many soldiers, and their equipment, all to kill just four aliens. Was it worth it?

I...I need to sit down. I need a drink.

I'm waiting on Rolepgeek's sheet and then we're ready.

Still working on mine. Have I been waitlisted?

((Wait, freaking light spells murder the fuck out of these guys but radiant damage does nothing? What the hell.))

Is it possible to enchant normal, non-armor clothing? Or do you need wondrous items for that?

Never got an answer to this :x