Bay 12 Games Forum

Quote from: Tawa on July 24, 2016, 08:02:16 pm

Posthammer 40,000: In the grim, dark future of the 40,000th character, there are only character limit warnings.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

It is the 41st page. For more than a hundred threads The Toad has sat immobile on the Dank Throne of Announcements. He is the Master of Bay12 by the will of the gods, and master of a million boards by the might of his inexhaustible memes. He is a coding amphibian writhing invisibly with power from the Dark Age of Various Nonsense. He is the Character Limit of Simple Machines for whom a thousand dwarfs are sacrificed every day, so that he may never truly die.

Yet even in his deathless state, the Toad continues his eternal vigilance. Mighty battlethreads cross the kitchenbot-infested miasma of the Internet, the only route between distant forums, their way lit by the Download Page, the psychic manifestation of the Toad's will. Vast armies give battle in his name on uncounted flame wars. Greatest amongst his soldiers are the Adeptus Tabula, the Shitposters, bio-engineered super-posters. Their comrades in arms are legion: the Roleplayers and countless roll to dodge forces, the ever vigilant Mafia and the tech-priests of the DFHack to name only a few. But for all their multitudes, they are barely enough to hold off the ever-present threat from ayyys, trolls, kitchenbots - and worse.

To be a character in such times is to be one amongst untold billions. It is to live in the cruelest and most bloody postcount imaginable. These are the tales of those times. Forget the power of technology and archiving, for so much has been forgotten, never to be re-learned. Forget the promise of chill and composure, for in the grim dark future there is only character limit warnings. There is no peace amongst the forums, only an eternity of shitpost and memes, and the laughter of dank gods.