May 9, 2024: The May '24 Report is up.
News: April 23, 2024: Dwarf Fortress 50.13 has been released.
News: February 4, 2021: Dwarf Fortress Talk #28 has been posted.
News: November 21, 2018: A new Threetoe story has been posted.
Forum Guidelines
: "...could I offer you some tea, ma'am?"
: "If I may be so bold, it rather seems that all this adventuring group does is wander around, help out strangers in need, and get into fights. Mostly that last one, though considering their efficiency at such tasks it may well be their calling in life.": "In any case, I believe what Mr Jarvis was suggesting that by putting your flying craft through its paces in a competitive event, it might catch the eye of wealthy backers.": "Ah, hello Mr Jenkins, Mr Jarvis. This young lady has just suffered a tragic mishap with her schematics, which were an unfortunate victim of the bee panic. I was just inquiring about what I could do to assist."
: "I am terribly sorry about your scrolls, ma'am. If I may be so bold as to ask, what were they?"
: "If these are yours, ma'am, I am afraid that you might be needing new schematics." 42-1 tapped the torn scrolls with his healing staff, feeling oddly hopeful that they'd somehow mend themselves but not expecting much.
: "I believe the crowd can be safely blamed for this incident. No matter! I am afraid I haven't seen anything like the scrolls you describe, ma'am, but I would be happy to help you search for them. In the meantime, please use this to dust yourself off." 42-1 offered the handkerchief to the girl, then began gazing around at the ground in search of anything scroll-shaped.
: "They probably are. I think that one on the horse is healing something fighting the other group; we have to take her down!": "Oh dear." What a chaotic situation! A lesser butler might have panicked upon being separated from his companions by swarms of conjured bees and falling atop a stranger, but 42 was only mildly perturbed. The homunculus sprang back to his feet, then extended a hand to his unintended cushion while the other fished for a handkerchief to help clean up.: "I am so terribly sorry about that. Please, allow me to assist."
"I know it's a bit sudden, but I think I have an idea. You are Fourty-Two One... and that's, frankly, a mouthful. How about... Forte?"
"...it is something we should talk about with the rest of the group later, however."
: "I shall add it to the list, sir." And indeed, the butler produced a leaf of parchment and carefully scribbled "Fort" below several other suggestions provided in the wagon. How he did this without dropping his tea tray is a mystery that only skilled servants could comprehend. "If I may be so bold, sir, perhaps the others would consent to shortening your own name as well. Your name contains three more syllables than mine."
: "I see. Well, welcome aboard sir. As for the name, no offense taken sir. You are not the first one to voice such an idea."
: "If you wish, sir, but it is a rather dull story. I am what is known in alchemical circles as a 'homunculus', an artifically-created being. You may think of me as a golem made of meat and blood if you wish. More specifically, I was the first such creation by my Old Master. Sadly, he blew himself up shortly afterward.": "I beg your pardon sir, but where did you come from? I do not believe you were in the Goddess' group when we entered the fighting arena."
: "Pardon me, sir, but I have not stopped being a butler. I was quite literally created for the role."
