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Topics - GoombaGeek

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1
DF Suggestions / Coinage reform
« on: June 26, 2013, 01:50:53 pm »
Coinage Reform

Okay, it's been a while, and at this point I'm pretty much a Bay12 Suggester (Rusty). Anyway, I was making batches of coins in my latest fortress, trying to make some every year (eventually, one of each year and composition would go on display somewhere). Unfortunately, the monetary system as it is now is pretty boring, what with the lack of a working economy. Coins are either projectiles or practice tools for your metalcrafters. Come on! There's lots of changes we can make, so that we'll have a much richer system that'll hopefully make a real economy that much easier. Of course, you can still do it the old way for simplicity, but more control over your money could mean greater success in trade.

Striking: it's not pretty

Right now, you get some dwarf at an anvil to strike batches of 500 coins in one go. Since we live in modern civilization, we probably envision these to be nice and round, especially because dwarfs are supposed to be good at this sort of thing. Well, if you're just striking these things at an anvil, this lumpy thing is more representative:


And yes, we should probably call that particular task "Strike [metal] coins" instead of "Mint [metal] coins". More on that later.

The first actually round coins were the Chinese ones with the holes in. They would get put on a square dowel and lathed into shape - this was invented more than a thousand years ago (are you tech-level wankers still around?)! However, the first way to make a coin by machine was invented by da Vinci: the screw press. Oh wait, we already have a screw press! Well, I can't imagine dwarves using the same press for food and metal - that's just unclean (and we all know how clean our forts are). So let's invent a new workshop, which is just called the "Mint". (Note - this won't replace the "Strike Coins" task, but it will supplant it.)

The Mint

This particular workshop needs power - until the invention of the steam press, many strategies were used, ranging from water-wheels to just using livestock to do the work. Yes, water-wheels. It's almost like this is historically justifiable. Anyway, plug it in to your nearest water reactor, and you're ready to undergo a three-step process to make your fortress' currency. (Why would you bother? Wait and see!)

The first task would be converting metal bars into blanks (the lumps used at the anvil are called "flans", while the round blanks used nowadays are called "planchets"). This would require power, and give you a bunch of blanks (but the process would still train Metalcrafting). These blanks could be traded for their metal content alone, or launched at goblins. And your results can be more customizable - you can select the number of blanks to make from a few lists (e.g. make 100, make 250, make 500, make 1000, make 2000), and their size will scale accordingly. So now you can have different sizes of bullets money!

Then you engrave the dies with your Metalcrafters - you have to select the composition and size here. (Hear me out - some metals strike differently than others, and a die made for hard nickel could totally mess up a gold blank.) The designs will be random as usual, but they'll have more stuff depending on how big the blanks are: a small coin could have just one simple element (e.g. the date and a dwarf), while a big one could have a whole tableau (e.g. the date, the full civilization name, and a royal procession). Since coins of a certain size and composition will use the same dies, their design will stay the same until you engrave new dies (which will replace the old ones - "dies" aren't really items). Other things that could influence the design would be commemoratives - if there's been a round number of years (10, 20, 30... 100, 200, 300...) since a certain event, it's likely that the event will show up on your dies that year ("King Urist: 90 Years of his Glorious Reign!"). Or a noble could mandate that you put his ugly mug on that year's pennies, and the metalcrafter will comply automatically when you engrave the dies (if you don't re-engrave them in time, the nearest metalworker gets hammered!).

Then you strike! This takes a Mechanic, who oversees the process. Everything goes smoothly - you get however many coins as you put in, and you now have stacks of nice, round coins, ready to be thrown at your enemies (OR used to facilitate commerce). These coins still lack quality modifiers.

But what's the point of all this??

Facilitating Commerce

Right now, coins are just small bars. They're sold for their metal value and have no quality, and they never circulate. Well, can't we make them a bit more interesting? (Yes)

First, traders need to accept your coins. This will be a slow process. In the first year, they'll take your coins like they take bars of metal, and you won't receive much of an advantage. However, they will begin to get familiar with your fortress' currency, and trust it more. The trust-o-meter (independent to every civilization) is increased with every trade you make with your coins, and properly minted coins increase it much faster than crudely struck ones. Next year, they'll take your coins for the same price as last year - but this time, they'll let you get more for your money. Once you've established long-term relations with a civilization and they trust your currency, you'll be able to trade near-parity - you get nearly ☼50,000 of goods for ☼50,000 in coins.

Other civilizations issue coins, too! They'll probably need to meet certain criteria in population or wealth before issuing minted coinage, but these coins will be accepted by their home civilizations at parity with the insubstantial dwarfbuck. And caravans will bring you some foreign coins as well, selling them above their face value. Imagine that you've spent years buying up all the goblin money you can, and when the next goblin siege comes, you leave it in a conspicuous location. They grab it and leave without killing anyone. Or, once history still happens during Fortress Mode, a roving adventurer offers his services in exchange for the money of his home civilization. You'll be able to make intercivilizational deals and trades much easier this way.

Wear

We assume that once dwarfs can individually buy things, they'll start carrying around coins in their pockets. Why not let them wear down in this scenario? After about a year, they'll downgrade from coin to xcoinx, and after about two years, XcoinX, and after about four years, XXcoinXX. They'll stay as XXcoinXX indefinitely, but merchants are likely to refuse these coins, or pay less (as they'll be lighter with wear). The solution is to re-strike them at the Mint through some kind of private deal-making. For our purposes, you can keep striking the same coin from XX to brand-new forever. There's precedent for this, too: in the early days of America, the newly opened Philadelphia mint would take your jewelery, silver spoons, and foreign silver, and melt it down into brand-new American coins, which would be returned to you at no cost. As long as coins were traded based on precious metal weight (e.g. since antiquity), these deals abounded.

Adventure mode

Coins from other civilizations can be spent by you at a loss, and you could probably find buyers for very old coins you find in tombs and the like. Lairs will have money from all over inside, and some of it could have a value greater than its metal value (for those of you keeping track at home: during the Renaissance, collecting ancient Greek or Roman coins was a popular hobby among the upper class)

Miscellanea

There are more aspects that could work with a real economy, but they seemed easily abused - like debasement (lowering the precious metal content) and inflation. For instance, I thought that a government, when times were tough, could switch from silver to sterling silver, and the sterling silver coins would exchange for less and less compared to the pure silver as time went on. This could work if governments only debased one way (like in real life), but then I realized that this is Dwarf Fortress and some yobbo would probably work something out, like:

- Make valuable silver coins.
- Switch to lead next year. These lead coins are traded for less than silver, but still above lead because it's only been a year since debasement.
- Switch back to silver. The value of your currency will rise back up, and you can repeat, making a massive profit off of worthless lead coins.

There was also clipping (cutting slivers of precious metal off the edges of coins), but it seemed too minute to represent in-game just yet. Counterfeiting could be interesting, but we don't have many situations where the omniscient Overseer can't tell what's going on - vampires seem a few steps up from such mundane sneakiness as fake money.

I was also thinking of having collector interest and high prices for rare coins, but this seemed like a surefire path to exploitation. However, you could probably balance it out - let's say you've made 200 1051 coins, and 5,000 1052 coins. The 1051 coins will be worth a bit more. Now let's say you've made 50 1051 coins, and 50 1052 coins. Neither of these will have a premium over the other, despite the low mintage. On the other hand, this is fundamentally a supply and demand market, which seems a bit out of reach for now. And one last suggestion that didn't make it all the way:

Cupronickel

A mixture of copper and nickel is used to this day in coinage (American nickels especially). I think some people hate nickel, though, cos it's unrealistic. Well, bad news - nickel alloyed with copper was first used in coinage in the 2nd century BC. So we could add it, coins-wise, but it's mostly been used as a silver substitute in floating currencies not on any standard, which is a bit too economically advanced for us.

2
DF General Discussion / Wear Something DF-ish Day 2013: August 8
« on: January 16, 2013, 09:26:44 am »
You can get these neat dwarf buttons if you donate to Toady! I don't know the specifics, but now we have an official way to identify other people who play DF if we all wear a button like that (or a DF shirt, or even a home-made button) on one day. So, here's the idea:
- Pick one day where every member of the forum is obligated to wear something obviously recognizable as a DF piece of kit.
- Preferably this is a day where everyone will be walking around in their city if they live in a city, so we have maximum spread.
- See if anyone meets each other and then gossip about it on the forums (e.g. omg i met goombageek he is teh sexiest person evar).

It's on August 8, 2013, the 6th anniversary of DF. Bring a friend! (Grow out your beard if you've got one!)

3
Recently, I found a Zocchihedron (also known as "holy crap is that a golf ball d100") for sale, so I bought it. So, I have access for a d100 and it rattles and rolls very cinematically when thrown. If you would like me to film a short video of rolling this beast to produce a result for your RtD thread (preferably for something epic and monumental!), send me a PM and I'll upload it to YouTube for you to link. The video provides evidence that it has actually been rolled.

Hopefully there will be some interest, and remember, there's a 1% chance that your roll could end in the thing wobbling, rolling and just barely coming to rest on 100 - wouldn't that be spectacular?

4
DF Suggestions / Better rust tokens
« on: January 01, 2013, 01:08:49 pm »
How about better rust tokens?

1. Oxidization type

[OXIDIZES]
This is the standard oxidizes token, which would go on Aluminum, Titanium (if it is ever added), and many other metals like Lead, Bismuth and Zinc. In this case, the metal tarnishes to a different colour in air, and while the oxide is stable and will not wear the metal (as it does not flake off: aluminum oxide is very strong and transparent and protects the rest of the metal, and titanium oxide has similar properties), it lowers the metal's value or goods made of that metal if the tarnish is very advanced. The solution is to melt them down or possibly make some sort of polish.

[OXIDIZES_SPALLING]
This is what Iron does. You see, iron oxide flakes off normal iron, exposing more iron surface to oxidize, which is called a "spalling oxide". But many other metals oxidize in less obvious ways. The weapon will occasionally leave behind "a dusting of [metal] rust" and get a bit more worn. A spalling, oxidizing metal will have anything made of it get ever so slightly lighter over time. Implies [OXIDIZES].

2. Oxidization rate and conditions

[OXIDIZATION_MIN_TEMP:value]
The metal only oxidizes when above this temperature. Optional. Zinc, lead and many more exhibit behaviours like this, especially molybdenum (which is more-or-less stable at room temperature, but starts oxidizing at 300 Celsius or more).

[OXIDIZATION_MAX_TEMP:value]
The metal only oxidizes when below this temperature. Optional.

[OXIDIZATION_RATE:value]
The metal oxidizes faster, or slower. The value is abstract right now as I came up with it, but follows a linear scale. If MIN_TEMP and MAX_TEMP are set, then this will peak between the two temperatures and decline as it approaches either. If one is not set, it will increase towards infinity (or its melting point...). If neither is set, the oxidization rate will stay the same no matter how hot the metal is. If it is very high, the metal will just catch fire in air and be completely consumed (like caesium). This is so modders can have fun just like everyone else.

3. Oxide properties

[TARNISH_COLOR:color]
Sets the colour of the oxide. Slightly tarnished iron could be "gray tinged with rust" (rust is a DF colour). The colours would proceed something like "gray", "gray, with a touch of rust", "gray tinged with rust", "gray, with rust all over", "rust tinged with gray", "rust, with a touch of gray", and "rust", which would play out over decades. At the point of "gray, with rust all over", the item would gain a "rusty" adjective (if it has the SPALLING token) or an "oxidized" adjective (if it OXIDIZES), and its in-game colour would change. Bismuth oxidizes pink quite quickly, which is why its bars are pink currently: with this change, they would start gray and rapidly become pink.

[TARNISH_DENSITY:density]
For the sake of people who want their oxidizing aluminum to get slightly more dense over time.

[TARNISH_VALUE_WEAPONS:value]
To make the tarnish carry a slight value modifier on weapons, which increases as the metal tarnishes. These values can be negative, but I'm not sure how well DF raws handle negative integers. So, a +rusty iron sword+ will be worth less than an +iron sword+, and the longer you leave it to rust, the less it will be worth. I can't think of any oxides that would increase value (while aluminum oxide may be beneficial, it is undetectable with the naked eye) right now.

[TARNISH_VALUE_GOODS:value]
To make the tarnish carry a slight value modifier on goods, which increases as the metal tarnishes. Some tarnishes could feasibly increase the value, like green patina-covered copper. Others would still be considered detrimental, like iron rust (this isn't modern art, your buyers prefer shiny statues).

5
Creative Projects / Stupid Comics
« on: December 29, 2012, 03:21:53 pm »
This is the thread for all the stupid comics I draw from now on. They won't follow very much of a schedule for now, though...

Spoiler: 1: Randomness (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: 2: Life's Meaning (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: 3: Rad as Balls (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: 4: Handy Utensils (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: 5: Fucking FATAL (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: 6: Critical Success (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: 7: True Tales, Part II (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: 8: Movie of the Year (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: 9: Forced Diversity (click to show/hide)

6
DF Modding / Making cold containers and gases
« on: December 29, 2012, 02:11:02 pm »
I've been fooling around with a system to hold things that are gaseous at room temperature in very cold containers, but I have a bunch of questions to ask now.

1. Will a material in a very cold container stay liquid?
2. If yes, if a reaction produces a "gas" that must be inside the cold container, would this material go directly to the container without sublimating?
3. What is the best way to define a gas? I used the inorganic_metal template because I know how to work with it the most.
4. Will the liquid be able to be stored inside a flask specifically?
5. Will the liquid be useable in reactions? If so, how?
6. If the gas is solid at low temperatures, will it still be flaskable, or will a different cold container be required?
7. If you have a flask full of liquid gas, how is the value of that calculated?

7
DF Suggestions / Blah blah blah magic: Obey Krampus
« on: December 22, 2012, 11:48:10 pm »
The magic suggestion that nobody was waiting for!
Magic is hard and also nobody likes planning it. You can only go on for so long about why it needs rules and linking to TVtropes pages, but eventually you have to actually plan the rules and that usually ends with less mirth and more tears. This is my suggestion. It is all very vague and is intended for the future.

Introduction: Belief-based Magic
While magic should probably have real rules, it should also be magic, i.e. contrived. In this case, everyone's magic will differ in preparation and form depending on their culture but follow the same basic rules.

Racial Magic
Difference races have different collective beliefs and different preferences (in weapons, sites, jobs and more). This should also apply to magic (and hopefully also make you pick something other than a dwarf adventurer for the steel or a human adventurer for the fitting gear).

Dwarves:
Dwarves are ground and rock-loving creatures who have a high technology level. Since we play as them in Fortress Mode, they'll need an overseer-friendly method. Let's assign them the ritual-and-circle method of magic: every spell needs a specific magic circle drawn, and the right candles lit, and the correct arrangement of stones nearby (but they will not get too flaky about the stones, so they will possibly be selected for real factors like density, or just personal preference...) or else it "will not work" in the minds of the dwarves. They could be randomly generated during worldgen and run on random reactions, with a "focus".

The focus would be a totem or containing object to hold the spell within and trigger the effects when ready. The effects will be mostly battle or industry-related, and we'll be invoking conservation of mass: a "trap rune" can be drawn on a stone after it is "infused" with magma, but the stone will be very heavy because of the magma magically contained within, and triggering the stone will result in a high-pressure magma bath. Or, for another example, a spell can be prepared to create bars of soap magically, but the ingredients must be contained within a very dense totem (totems should predominantly be tools; artifacts will be especially good foci for spells but the player shouldn't choose the exact totems either) containing buckets of lye and coal and fuel. Once it's activated, the fuel is consumed and the totem gets very hot, eventually extruding bars of soap but also boiling away the wine reserves of the fortress which were in the same room.

Another example:
- A skilled mason (who moonlights as a maceman) makes a spell to throw stones everywhere when triggered. He gathers the stones and binds them to a gold scepter, expecting to use the scepter in battle. Hearing the goblin alarm, he wheelbarrows the immensely heavy scepter to the battlefield, straining to lift it while activating the spell. There is a tremendous noise, and when the dust clears, it is found that while the stones did shatter some goblin skulls and have the desired effect, many of them landed on the wielder and the sudden recoil from the blast sent the scepter straight through its unfortunate operator, now deceased.

This suggestion is UNFINISHED because I have to get a lot of sleep now since I was up all last night trying to dodge Nibiru, but it got me in the end and now I have a nasty bruise. It will also include Industrial Magic as mentioned somewhere else.

8
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Profession Art
« on: November 22, 2012, 04:15:20 pm »
Are you an ASCII enough dude to name every profession? (Don't actually, list's unfinished.)
..++
••πÆ
..£&
≡≡☺[[
**☺≡≡
≡≡ŵ
≡≡Ω∩
≡≡☺//
••ÇÇ
%%÷÷
▬▬▄▄
»─
g

9
DF Suggestions / Hot springs
« on: November 21, 2012, 09:43:34 am »
Older topics that may be related: # # # #

First, let's give inorganic materials a [SOLUBILITY] token. SOLUBILITY could go from 1 to 10, or follow some sort of real-world measurement (more likely). Still listening? Good!

Now we have volcanic regions already. Let's improve them. Since we don't have tectonics simulations (yet), we place hot pools and springs in mountains and near volcanoes. This will tie back into SOLUBILITY: pools are most likely to form over more soluble rock types and in aquiferous regions. Throughout the year, they maintain a temperature of over 40 degrees centigrade (10072 Urist) and will cause scalding if anything lingers in them for too long. However, these hot spots are zone-based, not water-based, so draining a hot spring (good luck, they're quite deep) will leave a hot, muddy crater and some cold water nearby. They will slowly refill as water gushes up from underneath. But how do they look underneath?

These are different than murky pools - they're heated by magma, so they go down deep. Very deep. These pools can be over fifty z-levels deep, and they should always reach near the magma layer - they will generate like our current volcanoes, except they're separated from the magma by a few layers of obsidian, and the tube around them isn't obsidian but the normal rock surrounding them. Geysers would be nice, but not until temperature is more sophisticated and computers are too (PHWOOSH, wow, lag!!).

Civilizations like hot springs. Elves may be able to treat them as shrines if they're in the sacred forest, goblins could toss mutilated sacrifices into the depths, humans could actually bathe in them and build bathhouses and dwarves would build bathhouses too, although they would probably also treat the hot springs as being holy and toss relics into the pool. An enterprising player who drains the springs could recover ancient artifacts and treasures.

Now, adventurers will love these things, because they don't freeze. Unfortunately, springs over soluble rock (which are more common, remember) are likely to be laced with that rock, making the water less filling or even too smelly/rocky/cloudy/dirty to eat (water laced with brimstone, yum yum). The rare springs over less soluble rock-types will be fine.

Civilizations could want spring water if you've got it - maybe your water laced with pitchblende is just the ticket to better health (don't try this at home!). "Spring water" would be a valuable trade good, and you could make a task at the Still (I can't think of anything better) to collect spring water in a vial or flask.

10
DF Suggestions / The smart uranium suggestion
« on: November 18, 2012, 10:13:14 pm »
Before saying anything
- I have researched this.
- Almost all search results are from 2009 or worse, like this:
Spoiler: An old suggestion (click to show/hide)
- And they are all roughly the same: mine it, enrich it, wacky hijinx, don't forget mutations and cancer.
Spoiler: Can't forget cancer (click to show/hide)

So, what does Toady have to say about this?

What does Wikipedia have to say about this?

So, to actually refine pure elemental uranium, dwarves need pure fluorine. This is impossible no matter how much ‼dwarven science‼ you apply. Even better, enriching it involves either more fluorine or dwarven centrifuges. Uranium ingots are right out, slightly enriched fuel rod uranium even more so, and enriched atomic bombs are so right out that they're almost left out. Don't even mention plutonium. But what else does Toady have to say?

Spoiler: Back in 2007... (click to show/hide)

Huh! This contradicts the raws. Of course, it's a complicated, controversial issue and tech levels are hard to deal with, but using pitchblende only to glaze dwarven ceramics is a crying shame, so let's assume that a) dwarves are clever bastards and b) glazers usually get enlisted in the zerg rush wrestling squad because nobody likes glazing. So what are our current uses for pitchblende?

1. Glaze ceramics: Toady-approved, hopefully not controversial, Fiestaware.
2. Make uranium glass: More controversial, could be possible, leads to neat light green glass.

For uranium glass, let's say it's more valuable than even crystal glass, or equally valuable: pitchblende and rock crystal are both rare in-game. To be fair and just, we could also add lead glass, although I don't know how valuable that should be. How will we craft this madness?

1. Glaze ceramics: Reaction at the kiln: pitchblende boulder → pitchblende glaze. Glaze as normal.
2. Make uranium glass: Glass furnace: Take raw clear glass and pitchblende boulder → uranium glass. This should work.

Now let's open a horrible issue: radioactivity. Mutations are a stretch, and cancer isn't implemented yet, so maybe working with pitchblende can release little bits pitchblende dust on occasion, which causes COUGH_BLOOD when a lot of it has been inhaled. This shouldn't be too hard on the raws and it's pretty realistic.

There's one other radioactive metal that occurs in high-ish quantities: thorium.
Spoiler: Wikipedia says (click to show/hide)

That means "too much work". No thorium.

Other ideas could involve radon being released, but honestly, if you want to start with complex poisoning, start with lead, mercury, and arsenic. This suggestion is silly and out of place, but I just wanted to put everything in one spot and make it somewhat recent. Besides, uranium is fun even without bombs.

11
Roll To Dodge / Don't Roll to Dodge: Subject to Bias
« on: November 07, 2012, 08:32:46 pm »
You post. I don't roll a dice. I think of a number. It is subject to how I'm feeling at the moment.

1 - EPIC FAIL
2 - NORMAL FAIL
3 - ok
4 - LAME SUCCESS
5 - CRITICAL VICTORY
6 - NO

THE PLOT IS THAT SOMEBODY PUT A BOMB UNDER THE CANADIAN HOUSE OF COMMONS
YOU MUST STOP IT
SADLY THE BOMB DETONATED
SO NOW YOU PROBABLY SOMETHING

12
DF General Discussion / ASCII vs. Tilesets: Battle of the Century
« on: October 31, 2012, 08:34:56 am »
This thread carried on long enough. Why can't tileset users and ASCII users live in peace together?
FROM NOW ON THIS IS THE OFFICIAL THREAD FOR ANGRY ARGUMENTS ABOUT ASCII AND TILESETS
KEEP IT CIVIL, HA HA HA HA HA

Quote from: Everyone
WHY
because it's halloween and I'm too much of a wimp to watch horror movies
so I'm relying on society to scare me

This serves one singular purpose:
funneling away inappropriate RAEG from other threads.
We are concentrating the corruption into one bloated mass.

THE CASE FOR ASCII:
IS GAME DEFAULT
THE CASE FOR TILESET:
IS GRAPHICKY

GO HERE FOR PEACE AND HARMONY ♥

13
DF Suggestions / Make husks scarier
« on: October 25, 2012, 01:08:38 pm »
As a zombie, my adventurer is very successful. No-one except a very confused mummy will talk to him and a single townsperson attacking him tends to end with the entire town converted to huskdom, but unfortunately, after numerous escapades, every single bone in his body is broken. While he can still kill things, he must crawl everywhere and swims twice as fast as he shambles.

To make it even more fun to play as an unkillable dust-monster, I have an idea! When a husk enters a dust cloud of the type that husked them, the arcane forces of the dust replaces any missing body-parts, but in skeletal form only. And the bones are not naturally regenerated - they are made of the dust that spawned them, in my adventurer's case they would be a verdant green. I think this would have a few interesting gameplay effects, not counting "making husk adventurers have a way to heal badly":

1. Husk adventurers now have a "safe ground" that they are encouraged to return to, and so do un-controllable husks. Perhaps their AI could be set to "protect their biome", caring for the land that raised them.
2. Husks can heal! Aaaaah! Luckily, the dust body parts would be prone to scattering even on weak impacts, spreading the husk-dust and destroying the limb. You're still doomed, but after a while, the husks will get weaker while never dying like they're supposed to.
3. If they lose all original body-parts, they die (or get bisected). Imagine the creatures this could create, like the following scenario:

STORY THAT'S SUPPOSED TO MAKE YOU THINK HOW COOL THIS WOULD BE
Protected by a magic artifact amulet, or a space-suit (either works, we suppose), you grit your teeth and plod into the cursed dust cloud, looking for the creature you've been tasked to kill. More dead than alive, and more undead than dead, the ancient no-longer-bones of the Forest Titan tower before you, making no noise as its dusty joints squash together in motion. Your visor is beginning to cover with the bright pink dust, but you've spotted it - the eye of the beast, the only part remaining of its former life, squirming in its prison of cloying powder. You lunge for it. The titan's worn pink skeleton, held together only by the most vile of magic, blends in seamlessly with the whirling plume, but the eye sticks out like a sore thumb. As you smash away its limbs, they are whisked away by the cloud and reform almost immediately, but it's too late. With a sickening thunk, your steel whip smashes its lost eyeball to sprecht, and the monster collapses immediately. You have slain the Zombie Titan of the Forest, but you are not yet safe... the dust is clogging your ventilation system, and you feel faint...

Obviously, that was a future goal. But wouldn't that be cool?! We'd get even scarier husks, more weak points and stuff that would look pretty cool if it wasn't in ASCII!

14
General Discussion / Things that were AWESOME today
« on: October 14, 2012, 10:05:30 pm »
There is no in-use awesome thread? Come on, we need an awesome thread. Maybe it'll cheer up all those sad thread guys and restore faith in humanity.

I'll start! Today I got a photodiode off of an old router, made an extremely shoddy amplifier on a breadboard and attached it to my dad's old oscilloscope. Then I got the two most radioactive things in the house that aren't bolted to the ceiling (an antique glowing watch and a lump of pitchblende from a really old sample set) and tested them on the photodiode. Seeing the green line jump as each particle of radiation hit it was a really moving experience - for a moment I felt like one of those characters from the movies who has five seconds of screentime and gets up from their high-tech console to yell something like "But Mr. President, we can't-" before being interrupted.

15
Roll To Dodge / Tales of the Lost Zinc Mine: Exciting and Serious RTD
« on: October 14, 2012, 07:58:06 pm »
In a world not unlike our own, but much different…

The year is 1838. A brave party of explorers, adventurers and big hairy mountain guys embark to conquer the great Pointy Mountain Range that separates the bustling city of Vanceattle from the Less Notable Ocean and its untold riches, and to bring back the wealth that lies beneath the mountain peaks.

One month into the expedition, the caravans are caught in a spontaneous micro-volcanic eruption, charring them beyond recognition. With an ample food supply, the group decides to strike the earth, and it is told in numerous legends that after the very first pickaxe swing, the head miner reached down and yanked a pure nugget of gleaming zinc straight out of the cracked earth, the most noble of metals. The mine was soon expanded into the largest zinc-refining operation on the planet, sending caravans all over the continent and growing extremely rich.

However, in 1842, the François-Müller Method of zinc extraction was discovered, allowing zinc to be produced in vast quantities with nothing but a fresh source of seawater, a certain species of fungus and a neutron gun. The zinc mine was closed, boarded up, and cemented over, and the miners switched from mining to offering historic tours and operating bed-and-breakfasts for the travelers hoping to found their own outpost overlooking the Less Notable Ocean.

The year is 1938. Emotionally hardened by the horrors of the Third Gulf War, Steve the Nameless One, eminent nuclear metaphysicist and metaphilosopher, discovered the true horrors of osmiridium-215, and was fatally poisoned by its intense radiation. Before he died, Steve wrote a letter to the President detailing how mankind could either use his new isotope to forge a clean future of practically free energy, or blow itself to hell in about three months of hard work. Nuclear scientists were immediately set to work in the most suitable location possible: the abandoned zinc mines from a hundred years ago, so deep in the mountain that no radiation-measuring satellite could possibly detect a clandestine nuclear research facility. New tunnels were dug, hazardous materials were poured into distant tunnels with reckless abandon and within a year, half the continent was irradiated desert.

The year is 2038. Civilization has re-claimed most of the land bombed during the Fifth Gulf War of 1939, and the Robot Halls of the Old World have been crippled by a recent extrasolar storm. The Robot Royal Prime Minister of the United Robot Fiefdom is one of the casualties, and a power vacuum opens up, devastating the delicate structure of international power-politics. The Republic of Vanceattle Prime, half a world away, sends a crack team of armed forces to recover its rusting nuclear weapons from deep within the halls of the two-hundred-year-old zinc mine in the mountains, and bring them safely back to the capital for a reason known only to the President.

The team makes its way through the damp entrance, covered by vegetation to hide secrets that became common knowledge centuries ago. Soon, they reach the smoother hallways and rooms, and then the once-lit corridors with broken metal furniture, and then the almost undamaged rooms with anti-humidity safes built to preserve everything learned within the facility. Eventually, they wind their way into a narrow entrance that hasn’t been touched for centuries. Nuggets of zinc are visible in the walls, showing that they’re at where the zinc miners had reached before the mine was suddenly abandoned. Nowadays, zinc is the most plentiful metal of industry, but some among them remember a history lesson telling them about the high value of zinc before a cheap way of obtaining it was found. Lining the walls is a stockpile of mass destruction that would make a dictator cry.

There are so many bombs here, they look like an array of hot water tanks. Some are clearly empty. Others are broken. One still has a faint light glowing on the outside, primed for a war that ended long ago. Where there aren’t bombs, there are bins and boxes of strictly regulated materials of all kinds, including one gigantic lead safe labeled “OSMIRIDIUM-215, DO NOT STEAL”. Osmiridium-215?! The most horrifying of radioactive materials, as poisonous as it is a handy source of gamma rays? The stuff that ended two wars at once? Even worse, the safe is being used as a support beam in the tunnel, and the weight has shortened it by at least six inches. If it ever broke, Vanceattle would probably have to be evacuated.

The task force leaves, reports of the terrifying wonders of the abandoned mine in hand. But then, disaster strikes. As the team reaches the main research room, a multi-storied complex filled with toppled desks and obsolete equipment, deep enough underground to be protected from severe moisture damage, the leader tries to push open the main blast door, opening the way for the bombs to be hauled out. A robotic voice crackles to life.

<PASSCODE-?>

The leader, frustrated, kicks the door, but it won’t budge.

<PASSCODE-?>

A keypad is located next to the door, embedded deep within the solid shielding. Unfortunately, the symbols on the keys have worn off ages ago, as evidenced by the paint flakes on the floor. Swearing, the leader kicks the keypad, too.

Everything goes white as the keypad detonates, reducing the leader to an angry cloud of atoms and those nearest to him to depressing lumps of charcoal. Those who are not changed into a baser form are flung across the room, mostly dying on impact, others already dead from the blast wave. A few, still in the previous corridor, have half a second to react before a very heavy door slams down in front of them, while a red light turns on. The sign below, if you were an extremely fast reader, says “LOCKDOWN: FACILITY COMPROMISED”. A very loud noise is heard, and the door bends, but does not give. Those locked in the corridors have some hope, are not yet dead, should probably get medical attention soon, and need to find a way out. Who are they?

CHARACTER CREATION

- Give a name, and some physical attributes because I’m hoping to draw some scenes. Don’t say anything ridiculous like “6’8”, weighs 250 pounds of pure muscle, is a prime hunk of man-beef and has one red eye and one black eye.”
- You have an inventory, but unfortunately it is all filled with the same stuff at the beginning.
- It will be impossible to retcon in new characters later on, so strike while the iron’s hot. But don’t feel obligated to make your own self-insert either, because we don’t want one character for every single thread participant (which would also alienate latecomers). Just suggest names and try to come to some sort of consensus, so that different people can suggest actions for the same character later on.
- If you set off a nuke in your pants, you will die. Try not to do things like that.

ROLLS

Yes, it’s a RTD, so what did you expect? Standard rules all around.
[1]: Failure with negative consequences
[2]: Plain ol’ failure
[3]: The bare minimum
[4]: Mostly successful
[5]: Success!
[6]: You have done too well and bad things will happen.

For EXTRA-CRITICAL stuff, we may use a CRITICAL ACTION SYSTEM™ and a D12:

[1]: You failed so badly that something good happened.
[2]: You failed so badly that something mediocre happened.
[3]: You failed so extremely that absolutely nothing good happened.
[4]: You failed and you probably won’t get the intended result.
[5]: You failed only a little bit and have still done somewhat okay.
[6]: You failed to do a good job. You have done a mediocre job.
[7]: You succeeded at not failing. You have done a mediocre job.
[8]: You succeeded at your action. Okay!
[9]: You succeeded at your action and have done very well!
[10]: You succeeded very nicely and everything is copasetic!
[11]: You succeeded so much that there may be an untold side-effect!
[12]: You succeeded so incredibly much that there may be failings in your future! Oh no!

DEFAULT INVENTORY

- Basic Clothes: These are comfortable and possibly unsuited for secret clandestine stealth missions. Oh well…
- Zinc Nugget: While no-one else was looking, you just had to pocket one of these. The anions contained within will help you sleep better and regulate your heart rate. But don’t fall asleep here because you’ll probably get cancer.
- Geiger Counter: Surplus from the war. Yours keeps clicking, it’s probably broken or something.
- Car Keys: If you ever manage to return to the armoured convoy outside, you’ll be able to hop in and start driving. Also useful for etching little penises on painted surfaces.
- Hazmat Suit: You never know what you’ll find in these abandoned mines full of old nuclear weapons! Just in case, you were issued these ultra-portable suits. They probably won’t be much help, but hey, better safe than irradiated.
- Day Planner: Appointment @ 4:30: Recover lost nuclear weapons cache. Check!
- Ballpoint Pen: In case you can’t vandalize something with your keys, there’s always this. You had another one but it burst in your pocket.
- Night-Vision Contacts: Now you don’t have to let total darkness get in the way of the plot. Science marches on!

SYNTAX

Preface actions with > so we can tell that you're suggesting something.
Before the >, put the character's name. Here's an example:
Quote from: Some guy
Urist McAverage > Burn everything

Also, this is not like BAY12 ALLCAPS ZOMBIE STD SPIN TO DODGE, it's somewhat formal so don't say things like
Quote from: You know who you are
URIST MCEXAMPLE > EAT SUN

All right, I sure hope this is compelling enough!

CHARACTERS
Jeremiah Douglass: Farm guy, comes from a large family, enlisted because he thought it was cool.
Michael Caine: Tall, word is in the street he's a decent guy.
Samuel Malbeau: Old. Mustache. Glasses. He wants to find his parents even though he's old and they're probably dead.

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