Bay 12 Games Forum

do we get quadruple eye lasers?

we could behead a shopkeeper and then use his head to kill enemies, sort of like a capitalistic medusa

Clearly, we must uproot a shopkeeper, (I suggest carrying his floor tile like a litter, to avoid potential eye laser retribution) and bring him to the Dark Cathedral, where we will fuse him with Slog/Cool Crab. If it works anything like SMT/Persona fusion, the resulting creature can be made to inherit a few abilities from its predecessors, so we can get the eyebrow trick and lasers on our new minion!

A drill is a really impractical weapon.

*stares meaningfully at Bartering ram*

Your point?

Seriously, I'm not arguing for or against the drill. (I was mostly joking, since Ciro making melee weapons costs Max HP, which she is more likely to need if she engages in melee combat.) But this is a choose-your-own adventure/dungeon-crawler RPG. It has shown a lot of influence from existing video games, anime, etc., many of which feature impractical weaponry as a stylistic rule, and often runs off of RPG logic instead of physics. I think it's safe to assume a weapon's effectiveness isn't going to rely on anything but what the stats in its menu look like. And that's going to be based on either our die roll or FFS' whim.

Every time someone says "Don't attempt those crazy shenanigans/doing something stylistically awesome, it's stupid and'll never work!" I sit and stare at the screen for a minute and go "Have you been reading the same thread I have? The author even gave us a bonus to attempts to exploit loopholes and crazy nonsense that tries to bypass the rules!"

Well, I've fallen so far behind that I have no idea what the hell is happening. So I'm glad that Al apparently does.

Do the Al thing!

So I finally gave up on my previous fort due to it crashing. Something involving having memory problems with stealthed goblins or something, I suspect.

Time to start a new fort!

Hey, this spot looks nice! Temperate climate, a freshwater lake for emergency water, some mountains for stone, some forests for wood...

A section of the cavern has collapsed? That sounds ominous. Well, lets go back up to the map... Is that ice? Guess winter lasts late here. Oh dammit! The dwarves parked their wagon on the lake, three squares away from a small peninsula that is the only path up the forbidding cliff next to them! Okay, so I'll have to demolish the wagon and set up stockpiles. I can do this. I'll just set it up while paused, and hope my dwarves can get enough done before the Spring thaw hits.

All right, that should work! Now, *unpause!*

Ha ha, you of course know exactly where this is going...

.001 seconds later, three founders are dead, (two started on land, and two were decent swimmers.) my pick and axe are underwater, as are all my supplies and building materials, all the vegetation is on the other side of the lake where no dwarves can reach it, and there is absolutely no way I can think of to salvage this situation.

Oh, what a difference three squares makes!

This may be the worst homestuck news you'll ever hear.

Note that there can only ever be one in stock.

Disregard, wrong thread.

Of course he has eye lasers! That eyebrow gambit ain't just for haggling bonuses, y'know! It's secret training for the eye laser muscles most people let grow weak and unused!

Also, he's an attackable shopkeeper in a video game-inspired dungeon. Those guys are always firing lasers and changing your name to 'THIEF' or shooting fireballs from their flanking bonfires or whatever.

Uh, anyways, gather glass shards for use in Skill Tree.

*Sigh* Hoistedlens may be at a premature end - the game has crashed during saving every time the last three attempts, so I've been replaying the same season over and over. I'm not even sure I can even abandon at this point.