I know my internet isn't great, but I feel like maybe it's the virtual LAN that's making it completely unplayable. Does anyone have any experience with this? Is Evolve no good? Is there another option now that Hamachi has imploded? Or is it really just my internet, and I have no options until I save up enough money to move to a neighborhood with faster internet?
Its probably your internet, modded minecraft demands a lot of bandwidth and a 10kbps upload is nowhere near sufficient. That said, it might be worth getting rid of the virtual LAN - the person hosting the server needs to set up port forwarding, then you can connect directly. Failing that, you could pay for a professionally hosted server, your own download is still on the low side for minecraft but it should work better than trying to host on your connection.
We were playing modded minecraft before, though. In fact, we were using way more mods than we are now. It seems a bit odd that the game would get SO completely unplayable when my download/upload speed really doesn't seem to have changed very much.
As for a server, it's my mom who hosts the game, and she just has a regular single-player game and opens to LAN. The idea of teaching her how to set up a server is just... That's never going to happen. This is a woman who, when I tell her to download a file and then ask her where she saved it, says "I don't know what the hell you are talking about. I clicked the button like you told me." If there is a simple way to set up a server, that would be fine, but if it's as complicated as servers seem to be from my limited experience, it's just not an option. (She's in another country, six time zones away, so it's not like I can just go visit and set it up for her.) I don't think it's worth paying for a server, either, since we play about once a month.
I've decided that next time we have a chance, we'll try playing something through Steam and see if it works. If we manage without lag, then it's probably Nexus, and we need to find another way to connect...