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Creative Projects / Re: Bay12 Writers Guild
« on: May 16, 2012, 12:44:17 am »
Just tossing out a little idea for a setting I pooped together. Looking for any sort of response or critique. Thanks to any who take the time.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
You really learn a lot about yourself when faced with inescapable fate. When they energize the restraints and strap you into the seat and it finally sinks in that this is really happening; That it's really about to happen to YOU. Much becomes clear in the last, pathetically short minutes. The things you did that you regret, the things you would never take back. The people you will miss, the ones you hope to see soon. You can take a detached look at everything you've done because you know soon none of it will matter. Soon it will all be taken away forever. Then they finish and seal the door behind them, leaving you with nothing but the countdown timer for company.
A short but intense gang career resulting in my current seat meant that I had very little to contemplate in the two minutes I had. Some decisions I would take back, sure. But there wasn't much hope for me in the first place. Just a matter of being born into a tough neighborhood in a tougher city. My story was a pretty common one for Inner-Slum kids. I was just another number on some judge's Condemning quota for the quarter. So I watched the digital timer counting down my last few seconds until everything I knew would be lost to oblivion, and did the last thing I ever expected to; I prayed.
That left me with seven more seconds. My palms tightened on the armrests of the chair, I felt a cold sweat break out suddenly as first four, then three seconds remained. At two seconds I squeezed my eyes shut, willing the timer to stop once I could no longer see it. After what seemed like more than enough time for that to have happened, I heard a the hiss of a pressurized seal forming around the door. Then, an instant later, I was falling. Before my startled scream could even leave my lips I was slammed into the chair by terrific G-forces. I clenched my eyes shut tighter and struggled to pull down air in panicky gasps. Rather than abating, the crunch of acceleration worsened, pushing me down into the blissful dark of unconsciousness.
I woke to a horrible, rattling thumping. The acceleration was gone, but the feeling of falling was still present. I began to wonder the significance of this frightening developement when suddenly a terrific roar began and I was once more smashed back into my seat. After what seemed like hours of nothing but noise and shaking, there was a bone-rattling crunch that punched me back down into oblivion.
I came screaming into wakefulness with the dark, ominous shapes of a forgotten dream on the edge of my mind. I was in darkness, the only light provided by the screen beside the countdown timer and a glowing green button near my right hand on the armrest. The words "Descent Complete" blinked periodically into existence on the screen. Without even really thinking about it I pressed my finger onto the green button. Then several things happened. The loud hiss of the door depressurizing, a startled curse came muffled from outside, then the door blew outwards with a loud bang of explosive bolts. I heard a meaty thud as the door impacted something, or someone, standing immediately outside and flew outwards and landed in a grassy field some distance away. Blinded by the intense sunlight I heard a loud voice tinged with outrage, "The bastard popped and killt Marus!" as my restraints suddenly popped open.
I stood up shakily out of the chair and took a step towards the the opening where the door once had been just as the shape of a man stepped into the portal, blocking the sunlight with his silhouette. A combination of adrenaline, nerves and instinct sent my foot smashing square into his groin. As he crumpled to the ground, I stepped out into the bright glare and found myself face to face with shocked looking, heavily tanned man in a dirty, patched up version of my prison suit. He uttered a confused "Whu-" Before I smashed a fist into his windpipe, sending him dazedly to the ground.
I turned to see the scorched pod that had carried me down to the planet's surface resting in a rolling grassy field edged by strange trees. All around me were other pods similar to mine. The doors were all blown off and in some instances, I could see blood and signs of struggle. There were also several other men matching the dirty, disheveled appearance of the two goons at my feet moving through the field, gather parts and supplies from the pod compartments. One took notice of me and I heard him shout a warning to his comrades. I bent down and picked a crude looking knife from the belt of the unconscious man at my feet and began sprinting for the trees alone, disorientated, Condemned.
A short but intense gang career resulting in my current seat meant that I had very little to contemplate in the two minutes I had. Some decisions I would take back, sure. But there wasn't much hope for me in the first place. Just a matter of being born into a tough neighborhood in a tougher city. My story was a pretty common one for Inner-Slum kids. I was just another number on some judge's Condemning quota for the quarter. So I watched the digital timer counting down my last few seconds until everything I knew would be lost to oblivion, and did the last thing I ever expected to; I prayed.
That left me with seven more seconds. My palms tightened on the armrests of the chair, I felt a cold sweat break out suddenly as first four, then three seconds remained. At two seconds I squeezed my eyes shut, willing the timer to stop once I could no longer see it. After what seemed like more than enough time for that to have happened, I heard a the hiss of a pressurized seal forming around the door. Then, an instant later, I was falling. Before my startled scream could even leave my lips I was slammed into the chair by terrific G-forces. I clenched my eyes shut tighter and struggled to pull down air in panicky gasps. Rather than abating, the crunch of acceleration worsened, pushing me down into the blissful dark of unconsciousness.
I woke to a horrible, rattling thumping. The acceleration was gone, but the feeling of falling was still present. I began to wonder the significance of this frightening developement when suddenly a terrific roar began and I was once more smashed back into my seat. After what seemed like hours of nothing but noise and shaking, there was a bone-rattling crunch that punched me back down into oblivion.
I came screaming into wakefulness with the dark, ominous shapes of a forgotten dream on the edge of my mind. I was in darkness, the only light provided by the screen beside the countdown timer and a glowing green button near my right hand on the armrest. The words "Descent Complete" blinked periodically into existence on the screen. Without even really thinking about it I pressed my finger onto the green button. Then several things happened. The loud hiss of the door depressurizing, a startled curse came muffled from outside, then the door blew outwards with a loud bang of explosive bolts. I heard a meaty thud as the door impacted something, or someone, standing immediately outside and flew outwards and landed in a grassy field some distance away. Blinded by the intense sunlight I heard a loud voice tinged with outrage, "The bastard popped and killt Marus!" as my restraints suddenly popped open.
I stood up shakily out of the chair and took a step towards the the opening where the door once had been just as the shape of a man stepped into the portal, blocking the sunlight with his silhouette. A combination of adrenaline, nerves and instinct sent my foot smashing square into his groin. As he crumpled to the ground, I stepped out into the bright glare and found myself face to face with shocked looking, heavily tanned man in a dirty, patched up version of my prison suit. He uttered a confused "Whu-" Before I smashed a fist into his windpipe, sending him dazedly to the ground.
I turned to see the scorched pod that had carried me down to the planet's surface resting in a rolling grassy field edged by strange trees. All around me were other pods similar to mine. The doors were all blown off and in some instances, I could see blood and signs of struggle. There were also several other men matching the dirty, disheveled appearance of the two goons at my feet moving through the field, gather parts and supplies from the pod compartments. One took notice of me and I heard him shout a warning to his comrades. I bent down and picked a crude looking knife from the belt of the unconscious man at my feet and began sprinting for the trees alone, disorientated, Condemned.