Bay 12 Games Forum

So, iguanas are fantastic. They eat meat, lay eggs, and can survive at freezing temperatures indefinitely. If you put them in a corpse freezer they can live off of sieges, destroying the clothing as they eat, easing your cleanup woes. When you have too many to keep slaughter a few for meat and leather and start collecting the eggs. Turn those useless dead human beings with families into tasty meals and hats, best animal.

Seasonal Review Spring
Probably best to start with the siege.


As far as invading armies go it wasn’t that impressive. Around 20 in all ,3 goblins with crossbows and a bowelf leading the charge. A little over half of them aren’t even armed. Two blundered into cleverly placed cage traps right away.
Thinking quickly I belayed the order to shut the fortress and ordered the militia to meet the enemy inside the eastern gate

Two more stumbled into the traps that block off the eastern drawridge, four got inside the gates and with the drawbridge about to slam shut they were separated from the others. That part of the plan worked but the milita had yet to arrive so our ambush was actually just leaving unattended bait.

Givesnofuck, a dwarf noted for his phlegmatic nature in response to adversity witnessed the perimeter breach and a charging goblin spearman casually walked around the corner of a building leading the invader into yet another well placed trap. 

When sibrek came running one of the remaining three had the good sense to bolt. The unarmed goblin ran into the pastures hoping to hide. The others probably wished they had. Sibrek was a real terror, batting away incoming mace blow and hacking the goblin to ribbons.

The goblin’s head went flying off and probably scared the hell out of the unarmed goblin who ran.

Sibrek really got in the zone around the time Thunk showed up with a war dogand at that point it just wasn’t fair. The gate finally closed at this point but just before it did a single iron bolt pierced the dogs heart, it died biting at goblin ankles.



With 7 captures and 4 kills the goblin force was weakened, they had no choice but to follow the moat north to try and scale the bridge.

2 wrestlers and 2 axegoblins under the command of Ngsulu Sinfulsculpted
And 5 wrestlers under the elf Amxu Terrorgrowls As they marched the elf’s group got out ahead and sensing an advantage I opened the eastern gate again and sent the militia to chase them. The all goblin squad was slaughtered, their blood forming puddles in the moat.
The elf realized he was beat and lead his group in a hasty retreat. One of the rookie axedwarves, Shorast Boltveiled didn’t quite block a Warhammer and got his right arm broken for the effort. Luckily Thunk was there, he split the goblin’s head right down the middle before it could do any more damage. I ordered them to leave him there and chase down the remain invaders, I want no reports getting back to their leaders about our defenses.

With a force of five unarmed goblins to support him the Elf fled into the forest. He turned once to shoot a an arrow back at our troops, Thunk, Big Sibrek, Metalhead, and Techno were all standing in a line, they dodged it one after the other and that seemed to be enough to discourage him from trying again. It didn’t matter, they caught up with him and did what they do best.


With that settled the season went smoothly.
Operation “Let God Sort them Out” is going swimmingly, we’re producing a steady stream of egg, flour, and seed based prepared meals  The stream is so steady that our unsteady labor can’t manage it and some of it’s rotting producing horrible miasma, it’s fine our numbers are still trending upward.
The elves showed up to trade. In a feat of genius, determination, and sheer dwarvenity we managed to get all of our stock to the depot. We traded 0 ANYTHING because they stood around insisting they had more to unpack, I waited for them night and day until finally they left without a word. Is this some sort of elf joke? I’m glad elves aren’t dwarves because if they were then we would suck.

 20 in all, with a 36% increase in hauling operation Let God Sort Them Out is going to become much more productive. We hadn’t quite cleaned up the siege and one of them, Led Metalabbey was horrified to discover that there was still an arm in a pile of goblin armor. Baby.
We’re well into refurbishing the weapon traps, the serrated steel blades and silver balls
To improve morale I and present the new migrants with symbols of our legitimacy I ordered the tower floored. I also ordered a small art project to recognize my contributions to Breadbowl and cement my status as czar for life.


It was so effective that I started another art project to put an identical K in my office.

It only looks larger because of the way the light is hitting it and reflecting back into your eyes to create an accurate image. It’s totally necessary and only used bismuth bronze which was languishing in the stockpiles. Basically it would have been less efficient to NOT make a giant K in my office.

Created Wealth 7,068,540 ^ 403,357
Edible Food 6659 ^ 941
Drinks 2225 ^ 795

Semimonthly Review
So I stopped paying attention about halfway through Opal and then before I knew what happened it was Granite. This is a normal lapse of memory that any czar might face and not an adverse reaction to Breghd.  Rather than a traditional report here’s some stuff that happened:

Stuff grew up/was born

Two new workers and some new animals. The pythons hatched against my expectations, it turns out they're born as adults which is crazy. Also, kittens! I think this is where our war animal breeding efforts should be focused. Tigers reach their maximum size in two years and sexual maturity in three. They also don’t eat grass so pasture space is no big deal. We could build a whole tiger army before those old rhinos are still wandering about being all adorable.

Okay so it seems like there was a paperwork screw up somewhere and a deceased dwarf had a slab engraved in their honor but it was never built. After lying around unmemorialized for two years Dobar filed a complaint in the correct fashion, by rising from the dead and pledging to harass random dwarves until the slab was picked up and placed on the ground in an aesthetically pleasing location. I ordered another two year old slab to be built before more complaints arose


“Backup Armorer” Lor Fenceallies was picking fingerlimes when she climbed up into the tree and pulled up her stepladder. When interviewed she only said that she missed her family and refused to climb back down. I ordered the tree chopped down and she went back to work. We’ve successfully picked the areas inside the walls clean so our edible food stocks are going  to increase slowly for a while.
Looking at some numbers we have twice as much inedible Rye, Maize, Rice, and Barley as we do edible crops. I’m cutting the growth of those crops and expanding milling to produce as much flour as possible as quickly as possible. To facilitate that I have forbidden the touching of dimple cup, blade weed, and silver barb by any Breadbowl dwarf.  With the amount of flour producing crops we have it appears that Bread may actually become cheaper and more available than Breghd. The crab and plump helmet men we've locked up in a corner pasture are still stubbornly refusing to taste good.

Created Wealth 6,665,183 ^ 179,224
Edible Food 5,718 ^ 667
Drinks 1,430  ^ 741

Oh, it technically didn’t occur in the months under review but:

Probably gonna have to do something about that.



Vutok Boulderdwelled is still Vutok Boulderdwelled, what should I change that to?

Monthly Progress Report, Moonstone
With the month over and Mid-winter upon us I’ve drawn up a review of my goals and the results.

Increase food production: Success!
There have been some misgivings about this, after all we simply don’t have the robust infrastructure that made our former productivity feasible. To this I say “eh.” There’s no real difference between only being able to produce 100 units of food and only being able to move 100 units of food. Since it doesn’t matter where the bottleneck is we’ve ramped up food production and will allow our total and complete inability to handle it be the throttle on how much we actually end up exporting. Sure, crops may die on the vine for a while but our little infrastructure problem is mostly self-solving. Professional farmers are all at work farming or hauling food and everybody else is plant gathering and hauling as necessary.
We’re done processing plants, you can’t eat drink cloth, the experiments have been very conclusive on this. Rope reed becomes river spirits and spare seeds become breghd, which is part of a complete breakfast when eaten alongside a complete breakfast. Breghd and Tallow based food substitutes have helped us rapidly increase the rate of food production production while the increased planting efforts are yet to show returns.

Encourage Migration: Inconclusive
It turns out that we had not all resigned ourselves to die the last scions of a failed experiment, who knew? If tricking people into coming here again is considered valid let’s make the best hopeless effort we can.  At last accounting we have a little over 6.3 million urists in created wealth whether that’s going to be enough to outweigh almost certain death. Playing up our mineral wealth is probably the best way to go about it, silver trinkets are now an allowable use of the forges. I’ve also decided to kill two birds with one stone. Cannibalizing the fledgling war rhino project and cutting weapon and armor production has lead some dwarves to accuse me of not taking security seriously. Turning our current lackluster weapon trap gauntlet into a thing of horror that menaces with steel discs and silver spiked balls should make them more impressive to migrants and more deadly to invaders.

Increase Labor Efficiency: Success!
So I pulled the 12 year old Kel Tongsteach aside and told him he was no longer an orphan. That was bad phrasing because his parents are still dead. After he finished crying I explained that he was now Minister of Sanitation, the only dwarf on the fortress allowed to clean or touch refuse. This should increase efficiency somewhat. Now there are obvious downsides to this including the piles of waste and filth that will build up as a despondent and infinitely frustrated orphan tries to clean up after an entire city. Precious skins will be lost, left to rot unprocessed, to this I say “eh.” You can’t eat leather. To save on labor we’ll just import cheap leather as we need it presumably benefiting from the gross excesses of some fortress where they skin animals and throw away the meat.
Some more benign changes include stockpiling brewable plants AND pots next to the subterranean brewery. We’re getting a lot done in a little time.

Month start
Created Wealth 6,361,370
Edible Food 3,877
Drinks 689

Created Wealth 6,485,959 ^ 124,589
Edible Food 5,051 ^1,174
930 drinks ^241

Now, to canonize:

The Spirits of Quasar, Murky, Luneya, Bearskie, Taupe, Sanctume and all other notable (read "dwarfed") inhabitants of Breadbowl who had died, came together in the Hall of Spirits. All of them resting in peace, they were watching over their last home of their lives. They watched the rampage of Ongul, which took the lives of Viscount HMetal, Philosoverseer Luneya, Spearlord Taupe, Mace Lord Sanctume, Fortress Guard Captain Murky, among many dwarfs. SQMan and PsychoAngel watched over the Great Fire, which claimed the lives of Quasar and others.

Witnessing death and destruction in proportions outdoing the grimmest and bleakest legends, SQMan and PsychoAngel agreed to take their lives as Spirits. The dead from the Fire also agreed to do the same. The victims of Ongul decided to go along with this suicidal plan.

Being Dwarfs, they had their Ethereal pickaxes, with which they dug out the native metal of the Aether. A metalsmith made daggers for everyone from the Ethereal Forge. They would use them to slit their throats. And all of them did. Simultaneously.

But it failed. After the deed was done, nothing happened. Nothing at all. Accompanied with the dread of knowing that they would die, they all slit their throats at the same time, to no avail. So HMetal, an Administrator, went up to the Pantheon of the Gods. He asked them to destroy their souls. The Gods, including the God of Death, all looked at this Dwarf with utter disbelief. This request was never expected from anyone. They thought that the dwarfs would be content in staying in the Aether, watching over their live friends. So They asked "Why do you ask Us of this, dwarf?" He responded, "All remaining dwarfs of The Old Nets know of our deaths in the living world. Knowing the fact, they are scared to emigrate to the proud fortress of Breadbowl. The fortress needs more migrants to survive." "So you are telling Us to destroy your souls, so that your fortress, Breadbowl, can thrive? Has everyone from Breadbowl agreed to do this?", the Gods asked. "Yes, they have.", affirmed the Viscount.

"So it shall be."

A small purple orb over the Gods appeared. It started to grow. It swelled slowly, but it sent out sparks of lightning at random. Growing to the size of Ongul and the Dragon combined, it got darker. The center of the orb turned black, with the dark aura spreading to the rest of the orb. By this time, HMetal went back to his comrades and announced the Gods willingness to destroy their souls. They all cheered, and formed a tight circle, willing to sacrifice their souls. Even the children were willing. The Dark Orb finally came over them. They all stood frozen as the Orb arrived. They were ready.  It then sent out the biggest spark of lightning they would ever witness.

Now the scene freezes. Will it work? Will their Sacrifice be in vain? Or will the Sacrifice work?

---

I tried.

Noble but the command only purges "uninteresting" units so our death list still memorializes 260 units including all our dead. As long as we stay under 1000 it shouldn't throttle back the migrants.


I know I said there would be pics but I can't upload anything to imgur.

Moonstone 1, 251
Food Production is job one, nobody seems to get that. ALL Metalwork, glasswork, clothesmaking, leatherwork, and processing or handling of non-food plants has been suspended pending review. It’s possible that pot production will have to continue and maybe even be expanded but for now we’re throwing everything into gather food within the walls and cutting down the trees in the moat.

Our military, sparse though it may be, is completely outfitted. Even the lowest soldier has a full uniform so producing more armor is just encouraging them to swap out pieces which is a largely nonproductive behavior. Likewise processing of adamantine, while nice, is not helping us reach our goals. I have also deactivated the Shafts of Fortifying. Every member of the group is legendary in their chosen weapon so their continued training no longer serves a purpose. Since they’re lollygagging about they can start picking fruit and burning wood.

Food production being our priority radical changes have been made to the way we’ll be handling prepared food. Taking 1 fish and 1 piece of meat and making a biscuit turns 2 pieces of food into 2 pieces of more valuable and better tasting food. This is not food production. Taking one handful of prickleberry seeds and one handful of eggplant seeds to make two nutritious and 68% digestible loaves of breghd creates two units of food. From now on only ingredients that cannot be eaten raw may not be cooked and our food production is guaranteed to increase.

In order to free up cages and begin research into Pood a pasture has been set aside for the plump helmet and crab people we’ve captured. The goblin prisoners are to be promptly executed, preferably in full view of the human’s goblin guild representative, that’s playing hardball. I’ve noticed a great deal of seeds in animal cages and it seems like we’re wasting a lot of resources on giant hamster subsidies, from now on those freeloaders are going to have to get out there, pull themselves up by their bootstraps, and eat grass in a tiny walled off area.

The Elkbirds are being given eggboxes so they can start roosting. The pythons eggs are being harvested because research suggests it’s not possible to induce them to hatch in captivity. After a brief investigation of the rhino breeding program I have found it wanting. All but 5 of the rhino calves have been slated for butchery. The oldest 4 females and 1 male will be allowed to grow to adulthood for breeding and defense but it’s just not worth feeding a whole herd of the things. Their purported purpose is defense but they haven’t really distinguished themselves and certainly haven’t done enough to justify the 10 year commitment and regular pasture changes that it takes to raise a brood to maturity. Some have accused me of undermining our military but the time has come to hammer our swords into steaks and then sell the steaks.


OOC: There will be pictures after stuff starts happening, I haven't even unpaused.

So I probably ought to be dwarfed, any issue with me claiming Kadol Ableltoltot Broker/Royal Bedroom Squatter?

Is the save okay? I dug up the LNP version of 42.06 and I'm getting "missing instrument_flute"