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Life Advice / Re: My fault for ruining someones life.
« on: March 09, 2012, 01:45:38 pm »Do you really think this is the place to have an inflammatory debate on religion?
No, Its not.
Thanks, there's a time and place for everything and a religious discussion in this place simply isn't prudent, even if you have to grit your teeth or chuckle to yourself like I do in the american south every day.
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What concerns me is the number of people suggesting medication for a severe chemical depression. Most depressions are caused by, much like in this case, the world simply taking a giant shit on you. Medication can certainly help, and in this case would have been appropriate, but the fact of the matter is that most people in an accute major depressive episode (lasting no longer than six months) will come out on their own with or without meds, the meds just, in some cases, can make the depression easier to deal with for the time when you have it. However the depression almost always ends when the problems are resolved as we've seen here. If it doesn't, funny enough, meds are LESS likely to work to such a degree that only 30% of chronic depressions respond to medications. But now I'm getting off-topic, I just wanted to say that it's always better to solve your problems (talking with friends, family, and internet forum or a trained professional can help you cope if the problem isn't solvable in the near future) than to rely on drugs in case this ever happens again.
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Anyway, I'm glad things are working out somewhat. I know you probably don't want to hear this, but you might just want to not talk to her for a few weeks and get together for lunch every now and again to stay in touch. This way you're backing off enough to keep the boyfriend content, but still maintaining the friendship until he's okay with you. Helping him move his stuff in would also be an option since I'm sure if you introduced yourself, smiled and shook his hand without any ill-will he'd be cooler with you and your friend spending time together.
I think the real question is whether or not there IS ill-will toward him. Do you want to be in his place with this girl? If so, are you unintentionally making things awkward or more difficult for her by having these feelings for her? Don't sit around and wait for things to fall apart, because you might be trying to cause it without meaning to. However never overestimate your influence on people. The human mind has a tendency to have the world revolve around it, and thus it tries to make everything out to be its own doing. Perhaps it wasn't your prayer that brought her to live near you, maybe it was her own choice due to some of the same reasons that you live there.
Regardless of your situation don't dawdle on it too much. There's a whole lot of life left for ya and it doesn't all revolve around right now. Take a deep breath and smile, because as damn cheesy as it sounds research actually has shown that smiling makes you feel a little happier.