Interlude
4.37pm, Thursday 24th January 1906, Mr John Link's fine London residence. Return the briefcase to whomever it belongs to. Also, get those biscuits and have a tea party with the other mentlegen.
Having failed to locate the original owner of the retrieved briefcase [2],
Mr John Link is instead hosting a tea party at his London residence with his new gentlemen acquaintances. The tea, served by an army of highly trained servants, is particularly good; but, in the nationwide biscuit shortage that has all of a sudden struck the country, Link has been unable to provide biscuits of sufficient quality [1]. They are, in fact, rather poor, and morale amongst the gentlemen is, accordingly, at a rather low ebb. Thoughts soon turn to other matters though.
Trait Acquired! Inferior Biscuit Acquistion! (-1 to acquiring biscuits)
Item Acquired! Dangerously Hard Biscuits!
Gentlemanliness Increased! Tea Party In Difficult (Biscuit-related) Circumstances!
Head to my residence and place my top hat inside a commemorative display case of sorts, before heading to the hat shop and purchasing the finest one I can. Afterwards, head to the mechanic and see if he can make a few... changes to the new one.
Amongst the discussions of favoured bowtie techniques and port vintages, the voice of
William Wellington can be heard, recounting forlornly the substandard work done on the display case he had commissioned for his once-proud top hat [2]. The cheer does not in the slightest return to his dulcet tones when he explains that he has had difficulties obtaining a suitable replacement [1+1], but his hushed whisper draws in his audience as he describes the adjustments the Service’s mechanic has made to the previously inferior top hat that currently sits resting comfortable in the crook of his arm [6].
“Apparently,” he explains, “all one has to do is press in the maker’s badge inside” – and with that the circle of gentlemen lean in to take a closer peak – “and then the fragmentation device is armed! Remarkable, eh? Weighs the same as a normal top quality top hat, but they reckon it could take out a dozen men at a time! Explodes on impact, don’t you know.”
Item Acquired! Fragmentation Top Hat!
Ask around for any new gadgets from our loyal support team. And pay my respects to that poor Scotsman who I barely got to know.
“I say,” interjects
Henry McGeenyton. “They do have some clever chappies in the mechanical division don’t they, what? They built me this double barreled cane gun for me [4], and out of respect for that dear fellow
Wallace they gave it a tartan trim! Rather fetching don’t you think?”
Item Acquired! Double Barreled Walking Stick! With Tartan Trim!
Wallace's ghost comes to congratulate them on the successful mission.(What happened to my Black Watch?)
All of a sudden McGeenyton pauses for a seconds and then exclaims, as if struck by otherworldly [4] inspiration –
“I must say. I imagine that, were he here today, that poor Wallace would be sure to want to offer his congratulations, although I’m sure he wouldn’t be so ungentlemanly as to overplay his contributions, bloodcurdlingly heroic though they were. I wonder whatever happened to those brave soldiers accompanying us on the battlefield? I must be off; I shall telegram their commander to offer our thanks, gratitude, and recommendation of extra tea rations. I wonder if we shall ever fight side by side again?”
With that, McGeenyton leaves to find a butler to speak to about sending a telegram.
Gentlemanliness Increased! Gentlemanly Gratitude!
McGeenyton shakes hands with
von Fersen as he leaves – the Swede has just arrived rather late, and is brandishing – rather excitably, it has to be said, but then we can forgive our continental friends such a display of emotion – a copy of Gentleman Hunter’s Weekly [4] in one hand, and his own hunting rifle in the other.
“I say chaps,” he begins, “I’m a published writer! A little vulgar, I know, but rather dashing, what? I’ve written an ode to my pipe over eight stanzas, with a little side reference to our dear Wallace. I’ve already had a letter from a lady admirer! All terribly exciting, eh? The distressing thing was that not only did I nearly miss his funeral [1], I nearly missed it because I couldn’t find my blasted rifle, and when I did find it, it accidentally went off in my bloody face and blew my eye clean off [1]. Needless to say I was a few minutes late for the funeral and my late entrance was met with considerable disapproval.”
“Luckily I’d had a rather magnificent day’s hunting the day before with my best dog [5], so having injured both my eyes severely with exploding guns wasn’t the inconvenience it might have been. And fortunately I know a bloody good surgeon on Harley Street and he fixed the right one right up, as you can see. It’s a wonder what a fine brandy can do for one, eh [5]. He said there was nothing to be done for the left eye though and plucked the rest of it right out! I say [2]. But then I did get this tremendous eye patch – particularly pleasing, I thought, it’s of especially masterful quality, 24 carat gold too with a magnificent engraving of my family crest upon it [6]. Goes well with my new pipe, don’t you think?”
Trait Acquired! Published Poet!
Trait Acquired! Dangerous Misfires! (+1 to chance of exploding guns causing injury)
Wound Acquired! Left Eye Blown Clean Off!
Wound Healed! Right Eye Healed Completely!
Item Acquired! Copy of Gentleman Hunter’s Weekly!
Item Acquired! Own Fine Hunting Rifle!
Item Acquired! Masterwork Gold Eye Patch! (+1 to Gentlemanliness when worn)
Item Acquired! Finely Crafted Pipe!
Caddishness Increased! Slightly Late For a Funeral!
At that moment, with “I says” and “Rathers” murmuring across the room,
Winston Smith arrives [2].
Look for a new hat, pay respects to Wallace, go to Link's party and try to get an appointment with WG Grace to get some advice on my very violent cricketing tendencies.
"Awfully sorry old chaps. Been up in Gloucestershire training with W.G. Grace. I say, terrifically enlightening fellow, he's been working on my batting skills [6]"
"
The W.G. Grace? My word!" exclaims Wellington, astounded. "I say, magnificent top hat," he adds, as a true connoisseur.
"Thanks awfully kind sir. Took me two days to find it - took the hatmaker a day just to measure my head correctly for a good fit [5]. Magnificent, as you say. Anyway, I had it done just in time for Wallace's wedding in fact, and his family were rather pleased, I have to say [6]. They gave me these, family heirloom, apparently - fancy a bit of the old bagpipes, gentlemen?"
Skill Acquired! Baseball Cricket Fatality! (+1 to Weaponised
Baseball Cricket!)
Item Acquired! Masterwork Top Hat! (+1 to Gentlemanliness when worn)
Item Acquired! Mysterious Ancient Bagpipes! (Mysterious)
