But who cares?No one
I do. And I think I can speak for the whole board when I say that we all do. I have no goddamn idea who you are but it doesn't matter. You're alive, talking, and have problems. That's enough basis for me to want to do whatever I can to help.
But I stand strong hoping for change in this road.
You're doing the right thing. Don't just be passively strong, though. Don't just endure the slings and arrows... try what you can to actually make your life better.
And, I think you could benefit from gaining the "Doesn't really care about anything anymore" tag*. Some of the things you complained about seem to be effecting you greatly, but it also seems like it's your
choice that it effects you.
Sometimes you just gotta throw everything into the wind and realize that life, in its most basic form, doesn't suck. Ever read Into the Wild? I'm not suggesting you go do that, but it's definitely a good (and short) read that shows the power of one's mind to make the best of their surroundings.
*I'm assuming you've played DF to know what that means, otherwise the context should explain itself.
And if you ever think death is the only way out, it isn't. Don't even think about it. Just no. You would regret it in 50 years.