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Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: FEF: Wonderful Blessing IC Thread: Chapter 1: {A Crap Re;Zero Reference}
« on: September 22, 2019, 04:57:05 am »
"Call me Belphy again and I'll delete your account."
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"Call me Belphy again and I'll delete your account."
2927
Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: FEF: Wonderful Blessing IC Thread: Chapter 1: {A Crap Re;Zero Reference}
« on: September 22, 2019, 04:43:30 am »
"One, that's bullshit. If you hated it so much, we wouldn't have you pinned on our wall for "Star Customer of the Month" every month over in the corporate office in Kaisei. Seriously, you, the Goddess over there and this weirdo in Wybernia are like, the top three."
"N-nobody needs to know that, d-demon!"
"Two, I have excellent PR and even better lawyers. I'd have that accusation swept away in about a day. What, do you think I pay those morons who everyone else thinks is the Guild for nothing?""So. Daily Summoning Seals and weekly free tenfold summons and we'll call it even. And that's only for getting rid of those killjoys trying to find me earlier."
2928
Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: FEF: Wonderful Blessing IC Thread: Chapter 1: {A Crap Re;Zero Reference}
« on: September 22, 2019, 04:37:00 am »"Entertainment's a growing industry, man. You should invest in the Guild and give it a year and you'll make more money than most adventurers do in three.""And what I mean to say is that you don't have time to stick around and train a little bit. All the demons? They'll be right next to their bosses. You want to fight the demons? You're going to have to face them with their generals. The best opportunity you got to hit them is now, or in the next month or three, while the iron's hot. Your hothead puroresu friend is right, you gotta rush in while they're scattered around Generia. Unless you want to level-grind on tiny monsters until you feel like you're ready."
2929
Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: FEF: Wonderful Blessing IC Thread: Chapter 1: {A Crap Re;Zero Reference}
« on: September 22, 2019, 04:21:07 am »"She shows up when she pleases and where she pleases; she's a free spirit like that. Last time I saw her, she was in.....Midgardia, yeah, Midgardia. I don't know if she's still there, she moves around. Good luck finding your goddess, though. As for training?""Listen, man. If you wait too long, Mammon and Leviathan will probably figure out the rest of us aren't doing our jobs right and take over and finish this whole job in about a week. And then Generia's screwed and I lose my customer base because you mortals are damn whales and make me rich. So, go on your way, beat up demons, get stronger and figure it out from there."Keilee politely raises her hand to ask her question."Number one, do you know where payments for the adventurer's guild are? Number two, you've been here for a bit right? You know anything juicy going on? Like interesting secrets, locations of spare jewlery, stuff like that? Just in case we need to deal with another road block here..."
"Payments? That idiot old man I bribed to let me in here was supposed to pay them. I guess he must have gone on vacation with the money. Okay, I'll sign some checks, forge some signatures and those guys'll get paid. The King's coming back in a day from his honeymoon with his MILF of a wife, so I gotta bail anyway."Then Yliss speaks.
"No, you're just one of my best customers. After all, I am the Guild of Trisitia."
2930
Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: FEF: Wonderful Blessing IC Thread: Chapter 1: {A Crap Re;Zero Reference}
« on: September 22, 2019, 03:59:18 am »"I'm going to pretend you didn't just insult my hobbies and instead answer your next question; she's old fashioned and doesn't have a tablet. Also, reception's terrible underground. Sorry, pal.""Alright, now for intel. I promised you that. Let me give you the rundown- oh, and don't bother telling the authorities; they won't believe you, given I'm your only source of intel and they're not going to believe you got told by the Demon Generals about their plan."
"I was supposed to be here, bribing people to stop adventurers from passing. Which I didn't; too much effort. Lucifer's in Bastapa, destabiising the voting system, and therefore is probably screwing like five succubi at once instead. That tryhard Satan is in Wybernia, doing whatever the hell he does, which he'll inevitably screw up because he'll flip a table whenever something goes wrong. Asmodeus is in Midgardia, where she's got the most pull; thing about being the Queen of Succubi, you really get a lot of pull at dream brothels. Beelzebub? Nobody's seen him for five months, but they're in Blobbonia, probably snacking on Cocoa Beetles. Leviathan's in Kaisei and Mammon's in Penultia, so good luck with those two.""As for tips as to how to not die horribly? Uh, don't die. Sorry, best I can do for you in that department. Still, they're all about as competent as Miss Goddess of Water over here, so you should be fine. Except Mammon and Leviathan. Yeah, like I said, good luck."
2931
Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: FEF: Wonderful Blessing IC Thread: Chapter 1: {A Crap Re;Zero Reference}
« on: September 22, 2019, 03:31:25 am »
Belphegor shrugs at Jarvis.
"Well, I wouldn't say that we're not intimidating. I could still incinerate you all with demonic light if I really wanted to. But one, that takes effort and therefore isn't worth doing, and two, why would I do that? You haven't tried to kill me -yet- and we're all just standing around chatting. Now Mammon and Leviathan, they're the ones to worry about. Unlike most of us, they're actually serious about wanting to wipe you mortals out."
"Well, yeah, of course the Great Wiggler's real, she's been around since forever. We don't know where that Wiggler came from either, so don't ask; Lucifer will claim he created her but please. Why do you think I'm calling you weird for worshipping her? It's like worshipping that weirdo goddess you have with you. Never meet your heroes and all that."
"Yeah? Well, unlike you, I don't work for Hellrealm and evil people! This is clearly a ruse for her to get us to let our guard down, Jarvis! I thought you were supposed to be the cautious one!"
"No, that ruse, you smacked around like a ragdoll and cost me like five hundred rhea to get fixed."
"Alright. What do you have in mind? If you want me to take down my part of the barrier around Ultima, I'll do that if you keep Mammon off my back. Anything else? Intel, money, Clash of Legends summon tickets? I got plenty of connections and cash, I can get away easy. Still, it's a pain in the ass."
"Well, I wouldn't say that we're not intimidating. I could still incinerate you all with demonic light if I really wanted to. But one, that takes effort and therefore isn't worth doing, and two, why would I do that? You haven't tried to kill me -yet- and we're all just standing around chatting. Now Mammon and Leviathan, they're the ones to worry about. Unlike most of us, they're actually serious about wanting to wipe you mortals out.""Well, yeah, of course the Great Wiggler's real, she's been around since forever. We don't know where that Wiggler came from either, so don't ask; Lucifer will claim he created her but please. Why do you think I'm calling you weird for worshipping her? It's like worshipping that weirdo goddess you have with you. Never meet your heroes and all that.""Yeah? Well, unlike you, I don't work for Hellrealm and evil people! This is clearly a ruse for her to get us to let our guard down, Jarvis! I thought you were supposed to be the cautious one!""No, that ruse, you smacked around like a ragdoll and cost me like five hundred rhea to get fixed.""I am unaware of how your communications channels function, but if it is an item or some such perhaps they are able to track it?"
"At any rate, are you able to make your escape? If need be I would not mind being of assistance in that case."
"Alright. What do you have in mind? If you want me to take down my part of the barrier around Ultima, I'll do that if you keep Mammon off my back. Anything else? Intel, money, Clash of Legends summon tickets? I got plenty of connections and cash, I can get away easy. Still, it's a pain in the ass."
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Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: FEF: Wonderful Blessing IC Thread: Chapter 1: {A Crap Re;Zero Reference}
« on: September 22, 2019, 03:11:18 am »"Ugh, but that takes effort.""And yes, that will be a problem. I'll have to move hiding places. Again. I still don't know how Mammon found me in that casino in Midgardia, I was SURE I did everything to keep that foxhole hidden. Honestly, only two things worth putting effort into; hiding from that deranged headless idiot and making fat stacks of cash, am I right?"
2933
Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: FEF: Wonderful Blessing IC Thread: Chapter 1: {A Crap Re;Zero Reference}
« on: September 22, 2019, 02:46:46 am »
"....you know, after all this time, you'd think I'd be surprised that one of the Demon Generals is a hikkiNEET, but....I'm really not. I'm really, really not."
"Okay. Now I'm a little confused. She's a Demon General?""Yes. I'm a Demon General. Even if I haven't done any real work in that line since.....uh....Cecil founded Cornelia.""Manga... Computing engines... ..."
"I see that you're a woman of culture as well."
"Oh hell, it's a Revivian. Wait. Wait a second. I know you.""You're that chick who dumps hundreds of rhea every month whenever an Asteria alt comes out on Clash of Legends! KingCringeSon or whatever. Yeah."In that moment, Asuna had a realization.:"Oh my God... you’re a hikkiNEET."
"Correction; I'm not a NEET like most of you Revivians. I actually have two jobs."
She hands over the a bottle to the other people requesting them.
"We just fought off Mammon and Leviathan sent troops to find you. I trust you'd understand they have a greater interest in interrupting your reading than we. All we need are our adventurer licenses."
"Ugh. Those killjoys won't leave me alone. We got a potential untapped market in mortals and they just want to kill them all because 'oh, it's our destiny' and 'oh, mortals are just as bad as demons'. Ugh, give me a break. Can you tell them to go away? Lie to them for me, say nobody was here?""And....I don't have servants. Here, at any rate. You'll have to take that up with Corporate, over in Kaisei. Still, cheers for the wine."She does, in fact, take some prosecco.
"Well, ain't that just peachy. Now the MPPMH are also talking about 'mangas' and more Revivian nonsense."
"Well, you try finding something to do for three thousand years. After three thousand years, even you'd get tired of looking like that weird Wiggler that lives under Generia.""Good to meet you. Sorry about the boss. That's just... how she is."
"I'm a goddess. My job is to smite demons. But....if they can make themselves useful, I suppose a goddess can be also merciful and forgiving.""Speaking of which, why aren't we smiting Belphegor?! She's a Demon General!""Only by technicality. I still collect the paychecks and pay lip service, but like I said, I haven't done anything to pester you mortals since that guy Cecil founded Cornelia. A good guy, he was."
2934
Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: FEF: Wonderful Blessing IC Thread: Chapter 1: {A Crap Re;Zero Reference}
« on: September 21, 2019, 07:40:30 pm »
"Well, damn. You get what you pay for. I spent, like, three hundred rhea paying some goblins in Methiant to put this thing together for me and that's what I get? Ugh."
Behind the party, from a side door, a small, hooded woman approaches. Most of the party towers over her, and she certainly seems far smaller than the armor that heretofore had been presumed to be Belphegor. She hastily adjusts her glasses with one hand, rapidly tapping a crystal tablet in her other hand. A Guild of Tristitia-branded lanyard hangs off of her neck, whatever identification it holds being concealed beneath the rest of her robes.
An ominous aura surrounds her, an aura conferring the feeling of wanting to rest, to not bother, and if that hadn't been enough to confirm their identity, Serena glares at her.
".....no. That's not the Demon General. That armor there isn't. That is."
"So you assholes trashed the one thing keeping that killjoy Mammon off my back, made a ruckus, disturbed my manga-reading hour and almost toppled my stack of computing engines. What the hell do you want?"
Behind the party, from a side door, a small, hooded woman approaches. Most of the party towers over her, and she certainly seems far smaller than the armor that heretofore had been presumed to be Belphegor. She hastily adjusts her glasses with one hand, rapidly tapping a crystal tablet in her other hand. A Guild of Tristitia-branded lanyard hangs off of her neck, whatever identification it holds being concealed beneath the rest of her robes.
An ominous aura surrounds her, an aura conferring the feeling of wanting to rest, to not bother, and if that hadn't been enough to confirm their identity, Serena glares at her.
".....no. That's not the Demon General. That armor there isn't. That is.""So you assholes trashed the one thing keeping that killjoy Mammon off my back, made a ruckus, disturbed my manga-reading hour and almost toppled my stack of computing engines. What the hell do you want?"Belphegor Tristitia Acedia
~Indolent General of Sloth~
~Indolent General of Sloth~
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Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: FEF: Wonderful Blessing IC Thread: Chapter 1: {A Crap Re;Zero Reference}
« on: September 21, 2019, 07:23:12 pm »
Keith meets surprisingly little resistance when he punches Belphegor, as does Asuna.
The armor topples over towards the palace door, the helmet falling away from the rest to reveal....
....a crystal tablet, implanted into what appears to be the head of a crude golem. The tablet seems to be cracked.
The armor topples over towards the palace door, the helmet falling away from the rest to reveal....
....a crystal tablet, implanted into what appears to be the head of a crude golem. The tablet seems to be cracked.
2936
Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: FEF: Wonderful Blessing IC Thread: Chapter 1: {A Crap Re;Zero Reference}
« on: September 21, 2019, 07:20:35 pm »
"General Mam-Mam-Mam-Mam-Mam-"Belphegor - if it even really is Belphegor - seems to have frozen. The wine bottle strikes it right on the head, and it unfreezes.
"General Mammon. I'm here, aren't I? I deserve a medal."
2937
Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: FEF: Wonderful Blessing IC Thread: Chapter 1: {A Crap Re;Zero Reference}
« on: September 21, 2019, 07:17:42 pm »"To set my stuff up. It's raining, get inside or you'll catch a cold or something."
2938
Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: FEF: Wonderful Blessing IC Thread: Chapter 1: {A Crap Re;Zero Reference}
« on: September 21, 2019, 07:14:29 pm »"I'm here, aren't I? I should have a medal."
2939
Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: FEF: Wonderful Blessing IC Thread: Chapter 1: {A Crap Re;Zero Reference}
« on: September 21, 2019, 07:09:42 pm »"The business I have in this castle is of no concern to you.""I don't envy you at all, Asmodeus. Honestly, how you put up with those two, I will never understand."
2940
Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: FEF: Wonderful Blessing IC Thread: Chapter 1: {A Crap Re;Zero Reference}
« on: September 21, 2019, 06:59:43 pm »
"Why are we even arguing about this? We should be real equipped first before we get anywhere near a Demon General!"Suddenly, the ground shakes. At first it shakes faintly, then strongly and rhythmically, like footsteps.
"W-wait. What was that?!""Oh shit."Before anyone can react,a shadow blocks the only exit from the palace, clanking and groaning at it sets itself in place. A massive, hulking shadow, towering over even Jarvis.
A massive hulking shadow, belonging to the massive hulking armored behemoth that now stands between the party and freedom. This, presumably, is the party's target.
This, presumably, is the Demon General Belphegor, General of Sloth.
"T-that's a....is that Belphegor?!"Their voice echoes hollowly, sounding like the clanking and crushing of metal against metal, as the hulking mass points a gigantic blade, more a giant slab of steel crudely hewn into the shape of a sword, at the party, the threat clear.
"Mortals. You are in the presence of the Demon General Belphegor. What are you doing in my lair?"