May 9, 2024: The May '24 Report is up.
News: April 23, 2024: Dwarf Fortress 50.13 has been released.
News: February 4, 2021: Dwarf Fortress Talk #28 has been posted.
News: November 21, 2018: A new Threetoe story has been posted.
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"Are you two seriously considering taking this guy up on his offer? Then again....he's crazy enough to make the offer at all, so I suppose it's not entirely insane...."
"Sure. Why not. Let him get patched up. The rest of these assholes getting in the way of my rematch? If I had my way, he'd have fought me first. Hell, lemme make it a little more fair. One of you can come in with him. I prefer a good ol' one-on-one match, but....well, it wouldn't exactly be one-on-one right now, huh?"
"Finally, something I can get stuck into! Come at me, boy, show me if you’re any good sober!"
"You took on five guys the last time we met, Piper. It's hardly a handicap for you."
42-1 heals Shoes!
Shoes is healed for 21 HP!
(Vlad's Daunt activates!)The halls of Initia's seat of power, and Shoes' hooves, are now stained with the blood of a demon. Fortunately, it is not Shoes' blood. Unfortunately for the forces of the Demon Lord, it IS one of their guys. Their axe clatters to the floor for Shoes to pick up, too.
Shoes initiates!
Hit Threshold: 87
Hit: 83, hit!
Crit: 6, crit!
Minor Brute of Greed B takes 27 damage!
Minor Brute of Greed B is defeated!
(Vlad's Daunt activates!)The Asuna bug is contagious, so it seems, as Rosencrantz's knife finds a head. He doesn't quite look happy with this, but, well, it's kill or be killed.
(Rosencrantz wins some and loses some!)
Rosencrantz initiates!
Hit Threshold: 94
Hit: 34, hit!
Crit: 10, crit!
Minor Scion of Envy B takes 21 damage!
Minor Scion of Envy B is defeated!
"I personally don't give a shit about finding that lazy bastard Belphegor. Or fighting the rest of you assholes. As far as I'm concerned, the only thing that matters to me, right here, is Keith Piper."
"I got dragged along on this absolute waste of time anyway; Belphegor's a sneaky runt, and you won't be finding them any time soon. Chances are, they already left the castle. So I'll cut you a deal, since I got a sense of honor."
"Keith beats me and Lycia here in a fair fight, my boys and I will pull back without a fight and you can have a go at grabbing whatever treasure we were going to steal anyway. Any of you assholes interferes, we all jump you and the truce is off. That's the rules, take 'em or leave 'em. I'm not here to serve those shits at the top. This whole war's bullshit anyway.""But this? This is what gives me joy. Kicking the ass of half-asses like you. I still haven't forgotten twenty years ago even if YOU have. So come at me, like a man, bloodsucker."
"Oh boy. More demons. What I need to brighten up MY day. Alright. You two watch my back. This is going to get messy."
"R-right. You can definitely count on us two!"
42-1 heals Marcia for 10 HP!
Marcia is no longer downed!
Jarvis is healed through Wide Lens for 3 HP!
42-1 is healed through Live to Serve for 2 HP!
(Jarvis' Wigglership is blossoming!)The Wigglers that live beneath the land surely shake at this show of sublime strength.
Jarvis initiates!
Hit Percentage: 98 to hit
Hit: 19, hit!
Critical: 2, crit!
Undead Archer D takes 27 damage!
Undead Archer D is defeated!
Serena heals Asuna for 18 HP!
"So....that little shit shows up here, again, after twenty years.""Twenty fucking years.""Lycia, boy, hold this a minute.""I guess destiny really does work out for the best after all. After all....if it didn't, it wouldn't have put me here, would it? Let's go.""Keith Piper, you bastard! Look over here! You owe ME a fight! Twenty long fucking YEARS I've been waiting to kick YOUR ass!"
"You mean these? Whatever dumbass guards locked you two up left these in a hurry. I found them in a room two doors down."I COULD just cut down all the demons, on my own, no problem...buuuut then again, maybe these chicks can pay me to get them out. Besides.....I'm running out of coin myself. Bailing yourself out of jail after beating ANOTHER bunch of wannabes who hate Kirito is....not nice on the wallet.
31, 34, 70, 82, 18, 17, 32, 4142-1 gains HP, STR, LCK, and SPD.
43, 45, -, 24, 78, 30, 25, 70Asuna gains HP, STR, SKL, and SPD.
38, 83, -, 23, 7, 11, 46, 23Jenkins gains HP, SKL, LCK, DEF, SPD.
50, 2, -, 48, 6, 51, 8, 11Jarvis gains HP, STR, SKL, LCK, DEF, RES, and SPD.
84, -, 82, 14, 14, Auto, Auto, 20Keilee gains SKL, LCK, DEF, RES, and SPD.
57, 28, -, 14, 23, 39, 5, 17Keith gains HP, STR, SKL, DEF, RES, and SPD.
37, 86, -, 21, 6, 99, 5, 28Lilian gains HP, SKL, LCK, RES, and SPD.
Auto, -, -, 69, -, 28, 28, -Marcia gains HP, SKL, DEF, and RES.
87, -, 53, 42, 52, 20, 20, 7Selene gains MAG, SKL, LCK, DEF, RES, and SPD.
3, -, 48, 37, -, 22, 24, 5Serena gains HP, MAG, SKL, DEF, RES, and SPD.
59, 60, - 38, 43, 28, 3, 23Shoes gains STR, SKL, LCK, RES, and SPD.
68, 7, 13, 37, 20, 3, 18, 48Vlad gains HP, STR, MAG, SKL, LCK, DEF, RES, and SPD.
18, 36, -, 54, 76, 95, 40, 48Yliss gains HP, STR, SKL, and SPD.
(Jenkins seeks a quiet life!)He narrowly misses a blast of light, presumably because his target is busy clutching their groin in pain.
Jenkins initiates!
Hit: Autohit!
Minor Scion of Envy B takes 6 damage!
Minor Scion of Envy B retaliates!
Hit: 77, miss!
Keith takes 2 damage!
(Keith springs an ambush!)
Keith initiates!
Hit: 68, hit!
Minor Scion of Envy A takes 9 damage!
Minor Scion of Envy A is defeated!
Werewolf of Greed B takes 5 damage!
(Jarvis' Charisma activates!)
(The Lightning Flash strikes!)
Werewolf of Greed B initiates!
Hit: 57, hit!
Asuna takes 10 damage!
Asuna retaliates!
Hit: Autohit!
Critical: 14, crit!
Werewolf of Greed B takes 21 damage!
Werewolf of Greed B is defeated!
Keilee loses 3 HP!
(Jarvis' Charisma activates!)For that unfortunate mistake, he catches a pair of knives in the chest.
Minor Scion of Envy A initiates!
Hit: 48, hit!
Rosencrantz takes 8 damage!
Rosencrantz retaliates!
Hit: Autohit!
Minor Scion of Envy A takes 7 damage!
Rosencrantz strikes twice!
Hit: Autohit!
Minor Scion of Envy A takes 7 damage!
(Rosencrantz wins some and loses some!)
Minor Brute of Greed A initiates!All he gets is his skull getting crushed by a pair of hooves like a hammer to rice paper.
Hit: 100, miss!
Shoes retaliates!
Hit: 49, hit!
Critical: 1, crit!
Minor Brute of Greed A takes 18 damage!
Minor Brute of Greed A is defeated!
(Jarvis' Charisma activates!)Yet as the skeleton collapses into dust, you swear you could see a terrified expression on its bony visage.
Undead Archer C initiates!
Hit: 53, hit!
Keith takes 3 damage!
Keith retaliates!
Hit: 39, hit!
Critical: 2, crit!
Undead Archer takes 32 damage!
Undead Archer C is defeated!
(Jarvis' Charisma initiates!)
Undead Archer D initiates!
Hit: 79, hit!
Asuna takes 9 damage!
Asuna cannot retaliate!
(Marcia Provokes!)
Minor Scion of Envy B initiates!
Hit: 29, hit!
Critical: 9, crit!
Marcia takes 12 damage!
Marcia cannot retaliate!
(A veil of fire protects Marcia!)Unfortunately for Marcia, they're correct about their assumption.
(Jarvis' Charisma activates!)
Minor Brute of Greed B initiates!
Hit: 71, hit!
Marcia takes 8 damage!
Marcia is downed!
