May 9, 2024: The May '24 Report is up.
News: April 23, 2024: Dwarf Fortress 50.13 has been released.
News: February 4, 2021: Dwarf Fortress Talk #28 has been posted.
News: November 21, 2018: A new Threetoe story has been posted.
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"Ugh, no. Mom made me share the job with my sister, Freya. Thinks she's all the best, being goddess of peace and love. She can't even do her work right and wants ME to take all the responsibility for it! Can't believe SHE has more worshippers than ME! I'm the goddess of water! You know, that thing people need to live?"
"What wish? What are you...oooh. OH. You're one of those Revivians, aren't you?"
"Yeah, well, no way I'm going to remember you. I handle hundreds of prospective Revivians every month. I'm not going to remember some random mortal who just waltzes up to me and says I ruined her life with her wish. It's not like it's my job to follow EVERY mortal I ever granted a wish for."
"What are you talking about? I don't even know who you are."
"Long as you don't use it all on a drunken bender again. I don't need Freya getting ANOTHER thing to lord over me, that annoying woman."
"Mom gives her half MY job and she thinks she's a big shot because 'Oh, she doesn't trust you to do your job on your own, Serena'! Where does she get off thinking she's BETTER than me like that..."
"You say that, but you've been wasted twenty years. All I'm saying is, whatever messes you all make on our way to Ultima, I'm not covering those and if you wanna pay, that's coming out of your own wallets!""After all, a goddess such as myself doesn't need to clean up after every small mess a mortal makes."
"So drunk you went on a twenty-year rampage around Generia? Please don't tell me we'll run into a bunch of your old friends somehow, I'm not paying you to fight our way through a legion of debtors.""If you think we goddesses have a problem with vampires? Nah, you're not a bunch of demons, long as you don't work with those demon lords. Liches on the other hand.....they give me the creeps. Screw liches. Creepy, bony zombie skeleton people....eugh."
".....twenty years drunk? What are you, a dwarf?"
"....no way you don't know what those are unless you've been under a rock for twenty years. You know, dream brothels? Those places those succubi run, with their fancy food and their perverted dream things?"
"Temples devoted to the worship of a goddess like myself are important to a country's sense of community! Who else will they rally around in times of need, ply with prayers and adoration to give them the things they need the most and who else will they devote the most wonderful festivals to? Besides, it's better using it on a winsome goddess than another one of those dream brothels. Ugh."
"Why, the adoration and worship of an esteemed, beautiful goddess like myself, obviously!"
"Y-you really....sound like you want to...."
"B-but my temples aren't even that b-I mean, t-that's not what temples are FOR!"
"I-in a TEMPLE?!"
"Y-yeah, I agree with William. I-I don't like our odds if we stay here and fight them all."