Bay 12 Games Forum

Maybe they're being ironic without knowing that they are being ironic-

They say that parody is the #1 thing that High Schoolers can't recognize these days.

I blame all mainstream things for consisting of a myriad of clichés that would constitute a parody if they were not being presented with a straight face.

One may go two ways-
ONE: One exposes the cavern floor to the surface, causing it to freeze, and then mines out the cavern lake and then inserts sticks into the fish, and enjoys many delicious fishcicles.

TWO: One pours magma onto the cavern lake and thus boiling the fish. Seal off the caverns for enough steamed fish to feed the mountain homes. I reccomend wrapping the lake in paper and not opening it for a good 20 minutes. Open paper. Serve with lemon and sunshine.

OH NO I FORGOT INGREDIENTS: Raw mussel, raw mussel, raw mussel, kitten tallow

Honestly I'm having trouble imagining a hurricane lantern with a marble base.

I was trying to make a hospital and put a well in it. I didn't understand water pressure in DF so I used a river to feed the well cistern. Poor injured dwarves laid in bed as water flooded the hospital around them.
The hospital door was locked and everyone was ordered to pretend that that door did not exist. The corpses were never recovered.

Another time making a hospital well I used water from the caverns or somewhere. I can't quite remember where it was but apparently it was a bad idea.  Anyway those cave-monster strangler things crawled out of the well and strangled all of the injured dwarves in their hospital beds as they slept.

Anyway another time when I was experimenting with migrant control I made a big room and filled it with chairs, floodgates, and drains. I called it the "Sitting room". I sent all of the recent migrants (2/3 of the fortress) there and pulled the lever. The resulting tantrum spiral was incredible.

Finally I didn't know that trolls could break down floodgates and I dumped a goblin siege into my drowning trap. After spending a few days underwater a troll broke down a floodgate and partially flooded the fortress. Then he and his buddies ran straight to the nursery. It was bad.

My traps are crumby and usually end up killing more dwarves than enemies. Even when it's not on purpose. (I like to keep my population at around 20-30 WHILE having no popcap. I consider it part of the challenge.)

I embarked on a frozen volcano.  It was so cold that the supplies and wagon I brought were instantly destroyed by the cold. ALL OF THE SUPPLIES.

I made my miner dig into the side of the volcano and had everyone go inside for warmth (Though about two froze to death outside)

With no food or water and no source of either, my dwarves withered away in the cave, dying off one-by-one...

    (The troll-courtiers): Slagt ham! Kristenmands søn har dåret
    Dovregubbens veneste mø!
    Slagt ham!
    Slagt ham!
    (a troll-imp): Må jeg skjære ham i fingeren?
    (another troll-imp): Må jeg rive ham i håret?
    (a troll-maiden): Hu, hej, lad mig bide ham i låret!
    (a troll-witch with a ladle): Skal han lages til sod og sø?
    (another troll-witch, with a butcher knife): Skal han steges på spid eller brunes i gryde?
    (the Mountain King): Isvand i blodet!

Congratulations, your fortress has had an outbreak of ebola.