No other options at all that dont include me being subservient to her and her will? I can't be outspoken, or actually involved?
From what I've seen, to be honest, no.
There's this huge contrast between the happier you talking about mathematics and the torn-up you talking about how you've talked to the lady.
She's stated she'll commit suicide if you leave her alone before. She talks about her other partner, no doubt knowing she'll inspire jealousy. Every time you talk to her you end up feeling bad! There's no easy path out, and it's less effort to stay in your rut of misery. But you need to move on to get better - and every time you talk to her it pulls you back.
We've tried to help to the best of our abilities, but like a drug addict - and the simile is quite accurate - it comes down to you. You need to do this, and you can do this.