Bay 12 Games Forum

Id be an animal trainer/caretaker

I dont want to go hunting, im nervous enough as it is with the ones in the cages. cant show it though, they can smell your fear.

saltmummy626 cancels train animal, interrupted by giant desert scorpion

OH GODS ITS GOT MY LEG!!

an epic final stand. get thrown across the room by the vampire lord I was sent to kill. upon striking the far wall, my adventurers weapon arm breaks and he loses hold of his axe and shield. in that same obstacle collision, I suffer a broken liver, kidney, and lung. the vampire finishes off the last of my hired swords and charges across the room to finish me off. taking up my axe in my good hand I rise to my feet and also charge. the vampires copper boning knife gets lodged in my chest. I make one last swing, because I know Ill be dead in a moment. the axe strikes the vampire in the lower body and the severed part sails off in an arc. the vampire is dead, and I die of suffocation on my way back down the keeps stairs. the only joy I take from my adventurers death is the image of him falling down the stairs like a slinky after he chokes to death on nothing.

welcome to DF, the solution to all your issues is thus; dont try to make sense of DF, as making sense of a game with no sense is a senseless act. just try to have !!FUN!!

when you embarked, did you check nearby civs? if so, what did the thing next to goblins look like? a red line? or did it say "no trades." if it says "no trades," that means your civ is at peace with the goblins.

Too bad they never brought me a Giant Desert Scorpion yet. I want one guarding the entrance to my fort, though I guess a GCS would work too.

no you dont. GDS dont have very good perception, so they just let snatchers and thieves through. the only way to make them effective at guarding is to group them with hunting dogs. that way, the dogs do the spotting, and the scorpions do the fighting. also, try to take careful care of them. they dont breed without altering the raws, and a couple good hammer blows can cripple or kill them easily. the plus side is, they can wrestle weapons and armor away from foes, if they grab on in the right places.

dwarven children = bastard crumb snatchers. they've eaten my dwarves out of house and home.

niņa de la tierra. potato bugs. or if you want the real name, jerusalem crickets. f&*k em. F&*K EM! they aren't dangerous or anything, but jesus christ are they ugly and strange.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jerusalem_cricket

bulldog ants. you know, I dont think DF has actual ants. I mean ive seen ant nests, but DF has no giant ants in it I dont think. not even after our most recent update. as for spiders though, black widows and brown recluse are bad enough. I always imagined the GCS as a huge black widow spider.

And their skin tannable.
Counter the bad thought from a dead baby on a mother by giving her a new masterwork dwarf baby leather skirt. Preferable from her own baby.

isn't this new coat nice? does it feel familiar? its your babies skin!

ah, comedians. some of the things I hear on these forums remind of things like some of the stuff they say. but not often.