Hey guys, first story so sorry if it's bad but I'm sure you'll enjoy it.
This is the story of Usmen Konliettad, the sneaky wrastler. Many people called him an assassin who fought for the greater good, some believed he was a murderer who fought for fame and money. I think you can decide on what you believe after hearing this story. Usmen was a human who's adventure started in the hamlet veilsplattered of the dutiful field, he was a trained wrestler but he was a sneaky bastard.
He got his first task from a man who's name he cannot remember, a short walk to the north east was a hamlet called diedecent. In this cozy village was a ranger called Wuspin, the vampire Usmen was told to kill. The monster was inside a room along with 4 other people, all of them were low-life peasants. Usmen sensed there was a problem after talking with this fiend, his choice of words were not exactly... humane. His choice of accessories wasn't very civil either
Usmen was enraged by the fact that he would go around showboating the stuff he wore, sheep wool socks are no joke! He clearly knew this trouble maker was not any normal human, Usmen had identified his target but something inside had snapped. He accused the creature of the night and as a vampire, he had no skill of lying.(By the way, his father is called Bedo Fondledlenses and his mother is called Wuspin Squeezegarlics. Not exactly child safe, vampire-like names) He screamed out loud his name and threatened the sneaking wrastler, after many stabs to the chest and a few dodges the vampire was slain but Usmen was given no credit for the death of the fiend.
Usmen chatted with a nearby thresher and told him the tale of how Wuspin the vampire ranger was killed, Usmen asked for another dangerous quest. The thresher, Menung told Usmen of the bride of the narrow horror living in the crypt of oblivion. It was a short walk to the north, as dangerous and impossible as this sounded Usmen accepted the challenge and went on his way to find and slaughter a family of beasts.
Without thought the wrastler ran off to the north and soon encountered 3 beasts, an elk, a prone elk and an elk standing on a prone elk. Usmen had an unconditional hate for elk and charged them whilst still hiding in the make belief shadows, he hid behind trees whilst closing in on their position. At the closest tree he knew it would be painful to confront 3 elk so he decided ranged weapons could aid his battle, he grabbed a bunch of snow and launched it at one of the elk. He missed twice but the third strike bruised the leg of the creature, he charged as the others ran in terror and was pummeled by deadly hooves. He fell down and crawled back away from the murderous beast.The lone elk ran away but the others were not far away, Usmen started hiding again and avoided another encounter.
After a long journey he finally arrived at the lair of the monster, he entered through a hatch and searched for hours. Soon he found a meat cleaver, this was his new main weapon. He found the bride soon after, she was asleep. Usmen threw a dagger at her which struck her lower right leg and bruised it, the spear however completely missed. She spotted the attacker and stood up, Usmen and the bride rushed towards each other. Usmen wrastled with the bride but failed for she had a fat throat and his hands could not reach around it, with the newly found cleaver Usmen hacked away at the foul beast. Blood splattered everything and teeth were spread across the ground, Usmen had shown no mercy for the monstrosity. After the removal of a right ear Usmen ended the battle rather brutally, he swung the cleaver with all his strength and the bride was ripped in half. This evil bride was no trouble at all.
After a long journey back to the hamlet Usmen spread the news, he was given 2 more tasks. He set off on his journey to kill a dingo, countless hours were spent running in the wrong direction but soon he found the location of the slumbering beast in the pitch black darkness of the morale dampening cave. He had no problem reaching the horrendous beast but when he grabbed it's throat it had awoken, that was no problem as it passed out due to lack of oxygen. Usmen hacked away at it almost as if he had enjoyed it, he took the right ear as a souvenir and bashed its head until it had stopped breathing. He butchered the freshly slain animal and took only the meat.
He was getting tired though and ignored what everybody had told him of the bogeyman gangbang and slept in the snow covered in blood. He was awoken by noises and almost immediately a bogeyman started pounding on his left foot, he stood up and swing his cleaver at the night hunter but missed every time. A few seconds later 4 more approached from the shadows and Usmen was beaten to a pulp.
Everybody will remember the name Usmen Oiledhouse as the slayer of the vampire spy, sleeping dingo and terrible bride.
That is the story of the life and death of the failed assassin, the man who shamed those working in the shadows for a better future of the world.
like a thank you. I don't really understand, is it a thing on steam? A website? A porno gone wrong? I'm going to use question marks at the end of my sentences because I feel smart?
