Bay 12 Games Forum

Quote from: Xantalos on May 25, 2016, 02:51:04 am

Seven days.
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Gods. I hope this works out.

I'm not sure what you're talking about, but I have to hand in my term paper in seven days, so I feel you bro.

Quote from: chaotic skies on May 23, 2016, 02:28:22 am

I'd rather keep everyone at arm's length, that way I save the other person the pain of me leaving.

This attitude makes no sense to me. Do you think every relationship you begin will end with you leaving?

Quote from: Orange Wizard on May 23, 2016, 03:01:03 am

Quote from: chaotic skies on May 23, 2016, 02:28:22 am

I'd rather keep everyone at arm's length, that way I save the other person the pain of me leaving.

This attitude makes no sense to me. Do you think every relationship you begin will end with you leaving?

Continuing my depressive streak for now ... yeah. You either break up or one of you dies before the other.
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yeah imma move that post in here

Spoiler: enclosed is some giant ramble of nihilism or something (click to show/hide)

Having arguments - well, not arguments as in yelling matches, more as in involved discussion - with people makes me feel incredibly isolated sometimes. No one I know seems to really think about their lives or what they do or why they do things in a rational manner, they just ... follow what their emotions tell them to do. So many people I know profess to relationship troubles when they consistently choose people they know they aren't compatible with because they're 'just looking to have fun', or go drinking excessively and lament their lack of money, or obsess over what other people think of them when it's utterly irrelevant. Not that I'm exempt from this, I've done plenty of stupid irrational shit because of emotional urges, but at least I'm aware of them! Every time I try to talk to someone about this stuff it's like they don't even realize why they do what they do. Like they don't know how to think. People get together because they want to for some inexplicable reason (yeah yeah genetics and all that), they have children - a literally life-changing responsibility that I consider no one but the very wisest sages to ever be ready for - because they succumb to their urges, they dislike people based on irrelevant factors that evoke a sense of unfamiliarity in them that frightens them ... they act on a level lower than thought so often and they don't even realize it.

Hell, I do that too! I have opinions about people that I've formed not because I know said person super well or dis/agree with their viewpoints on certain issues but because the chemicals in my brain influenced my mindset to make it so.

It's ... it makes me feel lonely that no one else that I've met really puts thought into their existence. That ultimately the origin of all the incredible things humanity has accomplished is a coincidental side-effect of biology ensuring that we can reproduce easier. That I my mind myself am not a thing that exists in and of my own permanence but the assemblance of countless other particles, that my depression and nihilistic tendencies are merely the result of preexisting dispositions toward it in my DNA combined with an exposure to factors in my childhood that surpressed my self-esteem and confidence sufficiently that self-sustaining negative mental processes could take hold.

I dislike knowing the scale of things sometimes, because I see how far at the bottom of things I stand on a grand scale and I desire more. And knowing that my existence will likely cease without ever becoming more than it currently is is a saddening thought. Being subject to forces beyond my control - entropy, gravity, the second law of thermodynamics - is bad enough, but the fact that some of them come from within my very body is even worse. There are processes that take place within my body that can change the way I think about things at the drop of a hat, without my consent or anything. How do people not realize how shallow and horrifying that is?

Take love for instance. I know from personal experience that you can fall in love with someone, not entirely voluntarily think about them for 22 hours a day, make every effort to get close to them, literally brute-force parts of your psychological recovery in order to have a better chance with them - I forced myself to not be as much of a hermit as I was at the time in order to be a better fit for this girl - agonize for weeks over whether your desires are truly genuine or just selfish, spend more than a year endlessly thinking about this one person - and then if/when it doesn't work out/you drift apart (in my case high school ended and it never worked out in any case), they can fade from your mind within a few months and you soon find yourself enamoured with someone else, like I did. How in the fuck can you call that love if it fades so easily? How can you be inclined to make such great commitments with someone you know on a rational level isn't compatible with you because your emotions drown that out and then wonder later why it didn't work? How can someone manage to so easily cut someone else out of the life like that - does it imply that all of our current social ties are only a matter of convenience, and if you had no way of communicating with said person you'd forget it eventually? The impermanence disgusts me. Being able to move on like nothing ever happens makes ... love as people call it isn't love as it should be. It's a process designed to facilitate reproduction, and the words bandied about to describe it are false in their entirety. Making promises of forever is a misleading gesture at best. We are all but infants in the eyes of the cosmos, running about attempting to make something meaningful in the infinitesimal time we have before our mortal existences unravel due to imperfect construction of our bodies.

How are people content with this?

"I've  used amps but those aren't safe anymore and I've never held a gun."
Abigail  follows

Yeah but nobody's posting in it

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GUYS I HAD AN ARGUMENT WITH MY HAND AND NOW SHE WANTS TO BREAK UP, WHAT DO