Bay 12 Games Forum

"Right, let's get this done. My desire is for my physical body to be impervious to damage. My question is 'what is the easiest way for me to extract the sun-themed stained glass window from the chapel without breaking it and transport it to the blacksmith's shack, taking into account my capabilities?'"

Let's make this deal quick, I got windows to loot!

"Right, that's my bad."

Since my expertise with fire totally extends to putting it out, go stop that blaze before it grows! Do NOT use booze to 'put it out'.

To all Blizzard members:

"Well, that went about as well as I expected it to. Would one of you mind bringing me one of the criminals you're executing? Alive and disarmed, if that's alright."

((Physically, no. Mentally?

Whenever his daughter plays with her beloved sock puppet and begs him to join in on her adventures with Professor Alan he'll have to relive those nightmarish few days where a posse of idiots showed up and attempted to battle-rap him in lieu of a greeting, before laying low on/injuring themselves on all over his property for a few days, ruined most of his food by spiking it with an energy drink, left a gigantic pile of cutlery by the side of his house, and traumatized his wife before befriending his kids out of what may seem to him to be a cruel sense of irony. He'll remember us as bad dreams that trouble his sleep for years to come.))

((By the fire I assume you mean the gigantic silly string explosion? I think it's probably best to keep that burning, just in case Evil Michelin Man survived somehow.))

((Hmm. From what I can discern from the wonderful compendium you've put together, I'm in an interesting position to influence things. I do have a few questions before I start talking to me boss, though.
-is this a personal meeting between me and him?
-If so, was I told what for, or just because he wanted to talk?
-about how long have I been with this particular company? Long enough to see it rise up out of the bankruptcy he mentioned?
-what's Rembrant's general opinion of me, from what I can discern?
-any relation to Cromwell in him?))

Alan stops, putting his hands behind his back as a gesture of trust.

"Chill, daddy-o, I know you want us to leave. We're gonna stay gone, the only thing reminding you I ever existed will be the sock puppets and stories I gave to your kiddo. We just need to know where our compadres went, safety in numbers and all.

Oh, and don't worry about the soldiers - they were remarkably unchill, but they're all dirt-napping now thanks mainly to Ike. Oh, and while I'm pretty sure I kersploded it, one of them either was or turned into a weird freaky black magic jello skull man thingy. So just in case it stayed intact after the big boom I gave it, be ready and stuff."

Alan uses Chillax Bro! Hopefully get directions as to our compadres, unintentionally reminding the general that I put him in a bind regarding whether he endure the traumatic memories of me whenever he looks at Professor Alan or alienate his kid by taking the puppet away.