Bay 12 Games Forum

"This is vexing, priesty, let me tell you. I need this window yet it's fixed in place.
Hmm. Though perhaps this would work; technically a broken window is priceless because it isn't worth anything. If I deliver some fancy enough shards from both windows that should fulfil the condition.

Unless you know of anything else that's priceless around these parts?"

Does Priesty know of any priceless things that aren't the window? If not, contemplate the best way to shatter it so that I get some cool-looking pieces.

Perhaps it has core programming that prevents it from self-terminating save for if humanity is fully extinct/lost but really wants to die in spite of that. So it could subject the party to a twisted and insane set of morality tests and such to qualify the minimum standards for non-human so it can kill itself.

Basically it tries to turn the PCs evil or whatever arbitrary criteria you want so it can use them as a theoretical sample and die, and if the PCs manage to kill it without sacrificing their morality/genetics/whatever, it acknowledges that 'hey maybe there is hope for humanity if I can help you-' and then it dies and self-destructs.

I'd be a dick GM, don't take my ideas with too much merit.

People liked Catcher in the Rye? Shit was some of the worst literature (in my opinion) I've read in my existence.

"Hey Ike, try not to be on fire, okay?"

Shoot a gas stove with all burners on high right at the highly pressurized flammable gigantic Silly String can.

Duck and cover.

Yeah, you're basically a pancake with stubby little legs. Maybe even a crepe.

Oh god

SO HOW BOUT THAT LORD OF CHANGE EH TACK YOU WERE DOING PRETTY COOL THINGS TO IT

...this situation of mine troubles my mind enough when I'm awake, now it's starting to creep into my dreams?
Well, looking back it was already happening several months before this. But now it's more obvious.

I also had a glimpse during my dreams of how my unconscious mind thinks of my desires and I'm rather disgusted by how overwhelmingly selfish it was. I know that's kinda the point of it, that the mind's naturally gonna focus on its own well-being and how it can benefit from a situation, but ... is all my affection for her really just a means of self-validation? Do I really care about her as a person (and thus other people) that little? If true, why the fuck have I been telling myself all these lies about selflessness and sacrifice for over a year now? Is it because my worst fear about myself is actually true and I'm just a weak, small coward dressing myself up as being a large and functional person, deluding myself that I actually care for anyone other than me and that other people care about me in turn? That in reality I'm incapable of doing nearly anything except leech off of others that didn't even ask for me to survive, doing nothing but being a burden weighing them down, useless to society, incapable of thinking of anyone besides myself or placing other people in any position of importance in my mind - I mean shit, look at this whole rant, nothing but me, me, me.
...
That's somewhat wrong of course. Just negative conditioning from my past trying to fuck up my perspective again. But it's unpleasant facing it before I even wake up, enduring self-disgust and shame for the way my mind works at a fundamental level, which I of course didn't choose.
...
I need to resolve this scenario. It's been a daunting prospect these last few weeks, and the temptation to keep my peace because she's in a happy scenario and I don't want to ruin it or because I'm too afraid of losing the friendship is strong, but I have to remind myself of moments like these. Where the stress gets to me and my old mental tells start coming back. It's ... it won't fix them entirely, but it'll help reduce the frequency of them. Hopefully.
...
9 years. Possibly more. If I ever have to search for evidence that love/infatuation blinds people and makes them do incredibly stupid things I just have to look back at those 9 years. Gods I wish my mother had never met him.