28591
Other Games / Re: Species game
« on: April 06, 2013, 11:02:38 am »Bug? Or feature?With this game it's both.
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28592
Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall (alternative universe)
« on: April 06, 2013, 10:50:42 am »
(Yeah, the cougar fight was when I was heading back from gathering stuff. I barely lucked through that, though I suspect I'd do better against a humanoid.)
28593
General Discussion / Re: Things that made you RRAAAAGGGGEEEE today thread: 140 Characters of Derp Edition
« on: April 06, 2013, 04:56:33 am »... did Batman ever bludgeon a bear to death with Robin? Also that... that might be euphemism? Gods, I don't know. I don't think I want to know.Batman: beating grizzly bears to death with small birds since the 1940s.
28594
General Discussion / Re: Things that made you RRAAAAGGGGEEEE today thread: 140 Characters of Derp Edition
« on: April 06, 2013, 04:46:30 am »Really, if anyone is ever confronted by a vicious animal and it's highly unlikely they'll survive, they may as well go out in style. Just think of what people would say when they heard that their friend died by running up to a bear, and punching it in the face. Hell, I doubt they'd be talking more about how fucking awesome that was than how sad they were that you died.This. Flying sidekick go!
28595
General Discussion / Re: Things that made you RRAAAAGGGGEEEE today thread: 140 Characters of Derp Edition
« on: April 06, 2013, 04:10:19 am »
And thus the thread was derailed with speculation on how to kill a cougar.
28596
Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: The Age of Fire: A Modern Godhood Game
« on: April 06, 2013, 04:04:53 am »It does have that sort of... I dunno, grandoise yet horrifying quality about it, doesn't it?Echoing melancholy.
Also, do any of you have any ideas for a theme song for Merlin? I'd look, but I must slumber and stuff, so ...
28597
Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall (alternative universe)
« on: April 06, 2013, 04:01:44 am »
Just back away, Xanty. Don't want to provoke the 200-pound cougar, now do you?
Just back away. Just keep backing away and you'll be fine. Just keep backing aw-
*flump*
Xantalos, beacking away as he had, didn't notice the dip in the ground and promptly tripped over a root, causing him to fall flat on his back.
This was a sudden movement.
The cougar leapt with a sudden deadly ferocity, landing right on his chest with near bonebreaking force. Adrenaline almost overloading his veins, he desperately lashed out with all his limbs at the predator, knwoing that if he didn't so something he was dead. His foot jerked upward and slammed right into the cougar's exposed genetalia with crushing force as his other limbs flailed around uselessly. The cougar shrieked and fell down on top of Xantalos, tying to recover breath from the painful blow. With a desperate force rushing through his body bringing everyhting into stark detail, a process in Xantalos' brain chose between flight or fight.
The metaphorical lever flicked to 'Fight'.
With a spastic howl, Xantalos leapt on top of the cougar and began stabbing it with his knife. Knife to the ribs. Knife to the back of the neck.
To the spine. To the ear. To the snout. To the head. To the head. To the head ...
Some time later, Xantalos woke as if from a haze of red, slumped atop a cougar corpse riddled with stab wounds, with a substantial amount of blood on him.
There was no emotion to his movements. He methodically regathered everything that had spilled and placed it back in the bag. He then heaved the cougar up and over his shoulder in some kind of macabre fireman's lift and began walking for home, his steps almost robotic in motion.
Just back away. Just keep backing away and you'll be fine. Just keep backing aw-
*flump*
Xantalos, beacking away as he had, didn't notice the dip in the ground and promptly tripped over a root, causing him to fall flat on his back.
This was a sudden movement.
The cougar leapt with a sudden deadly ferocity, landing right on his chest with near bonebreaking force. Adrenaline almost overloading his veins, he desperately lashed out with all his limbs at the predator, knwoing that if he didn't so something he was dead. His foot jerked upward and slammed right into the cougar's exposed genetalia with crushing force as his other limbs flailed around uselessly. The cougar shrieked and fell down on top of Xantalos, tying to recover breath from the painful blow. With a desperate force rushing through his body bringing everyhting into stark detail, a process in Xantalos' brain chose between flight or fight.
The metaphorical lever flicked to 'Fight'.
With a spastic howl, Xantalos leapt on top of the cougar and began stabbing it with his knife. Knife to the ribs. Knife to the back of the neck.
To the spine. To the ear. To the snout. To the head. To the head. To the head ...
Some time later, Xantalos woke as if from a haze of red, slumped atop a cougar corpse riddled with stab wounds, with a substantial amount of blood on him.
There was no emotion to his movements. He methodically regathered everything that had spilled and placed it back in the bag. He then heaved the cougar up and over his shoulder in some kind of macabre fireman's lift and began walking for home, his steps almost robotic in motion.
28598
General Discussion / Re: Things that made you RRAAAAGGGGEEEE today thread: 140 Characters of Derp Edition
« on: April 06, 2013, 03:52:10 am »Don't know if it's true, but I've heard one story about a guy who was confronted by a bear while hiking in the mountains. It stood up and roared at him. He roared back at it, as loud as he could. The bear left.Note for cougarfighting that will probably never work: If you're pinned by the couger, it must be male for this to work.
If that doesn't work (and you refuse to play dead, which is what you're supposed to do), shoving your knife down the bear's throat might not be the worst idea. Stabbing it in the eye would be better, but I imagine you'd get one shot before you're knocked to the ground and being helplessly mauled. Since the bear will likely be trying to bite you anyway, you would probably have a better chance of getting your hand down its throat, or the attempt might even confuse it. Keep as firm a grip as possible on that knife and tear its throat up. You'll fuck up your arm horribly, but the rest of you might not get mauled as badly as it would have otherwise before the bear starts desperately choking and trying to get away from this horrible poison. Animals generally will not fight through vital wounds unless they're cornered or defending their offspring.
Disclaimer: I could be horribly wrong. This is my completely unprofessional reaction to Loud Whisper's idea.
1. Kick it in the nuts.
2. Get the hell out from under cougar.
3.Stabstabstab
28599
General Discussion / Re: Things that made you RRAAAAGGGGEEEE today thread: 140 Characters of Derp Edition
« on: April 06, 2013, 03:40:42 am »Hmm ... so if it jumps at me like so, then ajkhtiaufaghdskifugauifgasudgBreak ya neck.Well I guess I would die. I mean in all realism chances are I would die. There is no strategy that does not involve a lot of luck and not loosing my nerve, so I'm going to lock in 'Welp, I'm fucked!'Against a cougar? Should be a tad more killable.
To be fair though, all cases can be solved by being covered in eagles and dogs trained to your virtuous cause 24/7.
*Xantalos descends into mumbling*
28600
General Discussion / Re: Things that made you RRAAAAGGGGEEEE today thread: 140 Characters of Derp Edition
« on: April 06, 2013, 03:37:36 am »Well I guess I would die. I mean in all realism chances are I would die. There is no strategy that does not involve a lot of luck and not loosing my nerve, so I'm going to lock in 'Welp, I'm fucked!'Against a cougar? Should be a tad more killable.
28601
General Discussion / Re: Only two posts on 'Tropes vs Women in Video Games'
« on: April 06, 2013, 03:36:49 am »Why do virtually all corny action movies have male protagonists? Are they not marketed to women because there's no demand, or is it that there's no demand because women can't identify with Rambo because he's played by a male actor? On the flipside, are men not into Bridget Jones books just because the protagonist is female?I kinda want to see a female version of Rambo now.
But seriously, why the hell is it so awful that games about violence are mostly marketed towards men? And why is it fault of some kind of global conspiracy if women are less interested in such games? And what's up with the attitude that macho things like indiscriminate murder sprees are superior to girly things like gardening?
*pops back out*
28602
General Discussion / Re: Things that made you RRAAAAGGGGEEEE today thread: 140 Characters of Derp Edition
« on: April 06, 2013, 03:33:44 am »
Nope. Just assume that on a walk in the forest, you carrying a walking stick and a knife, are attacked by a pissed-off grizzly bear.
Or a cougar. Either way, it's kinda important.
Or a cougar. Either way, it's kinda important.
28603
General Discussion / Re: Things that made you RRAAAAGGGGEEEE today thread: 140 Characters of Derp Edition
« on: April 06, 2013, 03:29:56 am »I am resisting the temptation to do this.All the sections Xantalos. All of them.You may want to try the Angry Marines. Or heck, just go on a section of 4chan that likes Firefly and notify them of this.There are no words in Elvish, old Entish, or the tongues of Man to express my rage.I delved into the Black Speech of Mordor, and there was nothing appropriate there either. Also, my eyes melted out of my skull but I can still see, so it may not have been the best of endeavors.
Coincidentally, do any of you know of a viable way to defeat a male grizzly bear in single combat, armed with a 3-inch steel knife and a walking stick?
28604
Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall (alternative universe)
« on: April 06, 2013, 03:28:27 am »[so, did you just kill everyone on the 8th page? Or is this a story within a story?][Another fortress, I believe.
Even if he did kill everyone, I survived.]
28605
Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall (alternative universe)
« on: April 06, 2013, 03:11:00 am »
The sack had been filled - these forests were rather moist as of now, and thus a wide variety of edible mushrooms and berries (THAT I AM NOT LISTING) were growing at the moment.
"Not the most nonperishable of supplies, but dried they should hold out until we can get a steady food supply going," Xantalos mused to himself as he strolled through the moss-filled wood, ducking under branches, climbing over rotting logs, and weaving his way through the forest. "Altogether, not a bad day. Sure, I may have lost contact with my friends and family, but to be honest as long as I've got Curio I'm fine. I wonder if this world has magi-" Xantalos paused. "Magi..magic...feck."
For Xantalos had seen something very very bad indeed. Xantalos had seen a mountain lion. Right in front of him.
He began to back away slowly, taking out the knife he kept in the back of his pants as he did so - not like that was going to do crap.
Just back away, Xantalos. Back away and hope it doesn't come after delicious you.
Just back away.
"Not the most nonperishable of supplies, but dried they should hold out until we can get a steady food supply going," Xantalos mused to himself as he strolled through the moss-filled wood, ducking under branches, climbing over rotting logs, and weaving his way through the forest. "Altogether, not a bad day. Sure, I may have lost contact with my friends and family, but to be honest as long as I've got Curio I'm fine. I wonder if this world has magi-" Xantalos paused. "Magi..magic...feck."
For Xantalos had seen something very very bad indeed. Xantalos had seen a mountain lion. Right in front of him.
He began to back away slowly, taking out the knife he kept in the back of his pants as he did so - not like that was going to do crap.
Just back away, Xantalos. Back away and hope it doesn't come after delicious you.
Just back away.