EEEDD, after many hours of contemplating his newest revelation, speaks only at a mumble, hardly audible to anyone save himself. His eyelids are closed, but the eyes beneath twitch spasmodically back and forth.
"I understand, oh ED, bearer of our names and our troubles and our lives. The people of this land are fearful and ignorant of greater aspirations than mere survival, so I shall not make faith a matter of comfort or luxury for them. Instead I shall instruct them in the manner in which it may be a tool of survival, one they have neither reason nor right to refuse. Blessed be the Sacred Name, accursed may WV be forevermore."Pray until we reach whatever destination our tour guides decide to place us in. Draw ED's favor upon me to assist in my upcoming, more forceful, method of conversion.Name: EEEDD (Entertaining, Educational, Elastic, Disposable, Devoted)
Background: Created as part of a product line of quick-use clones with pre-installed memories, skills, and behavioral sets in order to fill gaps in high-skill fields for a comparatively cheap price, EEED’s entire line was scrapped when someone realized his name-acronym sounded like it was describing a sex toy and the resulting onslaught of memes caused the forced ‘retirement’ of the executives that had initiated the idea. This EEED, gestationally imprinted with chiropractic and massage techniques, was somehow missed in the purge of defective product and ended up finding a job with OMNICORP before his parent company’s legal team/hit squad could track him down.
Description: A big, doughy ball of a man, with earnest, simplistic facial features that look like someone crudely shaped them out of clay. Small, circular eyes peer out at the world with innocent warmth, contrasting his oddly large teeth that are perfectly square and just a little larger than normal, enough to be noticeable. He has absolutely no hair, though his scalp is tattooed with his terms of usage, patterned in such a way that suggests a balding fringe.
Rank: Team Priest (+1 Occult level)
Life: d6
Attack: d4 exploding occult dagger
Stats:
d8 Strength
d4 Dexterity
d4 Speed
d4 Endurance
d4 Will
d4 Knowledge
d12 Fate
Skills:
d4 Melee
d4 Guns
d4 Explosives
d4 Implants
d4 Mechanics
d6 Technology
d12 Medical
d6 Occult
d4 Speech
Status:
Inventory:
Rubberized Jumpsuit
Incinerator
Arc Scraper
Automop
Staff of ED (d8 minigun, d12 use die)
Protech Computronium (1 liter)
Ceremonial Dagger (Occult d4, explodes/upgrades)
Cognition Copier
Magic 888 Ball
Reactive Fabric Cape (d6 life)
OMNITECH Insurance Card (Good for 1 treatment)
Medkit (3/3)
Psychokinetic Stimulant (1)
Isolation Suit
45 OMNI owed to Loan Shark
Details about the most wholesome, innocuous religion OMNICORP's ever seen!
Current members: EEEDD
THE SCRIPTURES OF ED:
1. HARM YE NOT THOSE WHICH HAVE THE SACRED NAME
2. THE SACRED NAME IS ED, COMPRISED OF AN INFINITUDE OF BOTH E AND D
3. TO ATTAIN SACRED STATUS ONE MAY APPEND MORE LETTERS TO THEIR NAME, PROVIDED THOSE LETTERS ARE E AND D IN EQUAL PROPORTION. SACRED DEEDS ARE REQUIRED TO ADVANCE THE HOLINESS OF ONE'S NAME
4. THY TASK IS TO HEAL ALL THOSE LACKING THE SACRED NAME, AND IN DOING SO CHANGE THEIR FORMS OF ADDRESS PART BY PART INTO THE SACRED NAME
5. NEVER BETRAY ANOTHER ED FOR YOU ARE BOTH MANIFESTATIONS OF THE SACRED NAME, WHICH LOVES ITSELF
6. THE HIGHEST OF CALLINGS IS WORKING TO ADVANCE THE MANIFESTATION OF THE PRIME ED, WHETHER BY SHAPING OTHERS INTO VESSELS FOR THE SACRED NAME OR BY DIVINING THE WAYS THAT THE FABRIC OF REALITY MAY BE MADE TO WELCOME THE TRUTH OF ED
7. THE NAME WV AND ALL VARIATIONS THEREOF, BEING THE ANTITHESIS OF ED, IS THE ENEMY. DESTROY IT WHEREVER IT IS FOUND
For people who've chosen to bet on when Sam will destroy her own mind and turn into an uncontrollable gribbly flesh horror that needs to be put down. Any bet may be placed, doesn't have to be OMNI, along with a time when you think it's gonna happen by. If that time passes without a STAN incident, you either forfeit your bet to the pool or can choose another time, but you have to put in another bet on top of your original one - again, can be anything. Whoever's guess lands closest to the inevitable STANification wins the pot.
ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES: 500 OMNI for 'on or before Sam's 5th mission'
m1895: 200 OMNI for 'on or before Sam's 4th mission'
Xantalos: 1 E from EEED's name + 50 OMNI for 'on or before the conclusion of Neo-Detroit'
- Used Jehovah's Witness level social repellence powers to cause most of a military base to retreat from his presence