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Messages - Xantalos

Pages: 1 2 [3] 4 5 ... 2538
31
General Discussion / Re: Goblins: In Which God Is A HEMA Nerd
« on: June 16, 2021, 06:54:22 pm »
Heh, that was actually pretty satisfying to read.

32
Roll To Dodge / Re: MOOK: Clouds like raw meat
« on: April 24, 2021, 01:11:11 pm »
"...and so ED did speak to me in the voice of the Operator's Manual installed in my cerebellum, saying, "Ensure that the patient is weighed down by an assistant or other form of stabilizing weight in order to focus the adjustment entirely on the correct joint." Just as He did adjust my spiritual cognizance into the correct plane, so too shall we seek the center of these urban disturbances and correct it to channel ED's influence! Your lives will no longer be subject to random distortions, snaps, and blasphemies, if you but follow me, and bear the weight of the Sacred Name!"

Continue babbling procedurally-generated religious preaching and hopefully finalize the conversion of these four new folks. Then have them spread the word about our forming expedition into the center of Detroit, and promise future Church of ED friendliness if the merchants here aid our endeavor. Maybe see if we can't snag a deal on one of them anomaly watches, eh?

Spoiler: EEEDD (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Congregation of ED (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: STANpool (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Things done (click to show/hide)
[/quote]

33
Roll To Dodge / Re: MOOK: Clouds like raw meat
« on: April 21, 2021, 10:59:37 pm »
"CharliED, my boy, I have had a revelation! These pills will protect us, and the most pressing danger these peoples live under - aside from the spiritual catastrophe of not knowing ED and having misaligned vertebrae - is the anomaly afflicting this fine city. It is clearly ED's intention for us to resolve this crisis! Either that or use the source of the aberration to summon His true form into this fragile reality, but we'll figure that out once we get there."

Pocket the BlessED sleeping pills and attempt to capitalize on the credibility performing a miracle may have given me to try to attain more converts. The Congregation must grow, and we have spiritual insurance on our side!

Spoiler: EEEDD (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Congregation of ED (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: STANpool (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Things done (click to show/hide)

34
Roll To Dodge / Re: MOOK: Clouds like raw meat
« on: April 17, 2021, 10:21:55 pm »
EEEDD waits a moment, letting the effect of being spoken to by a divine being sink in. ”Well? ED hath spoken, merchants. We have need of your sleeping pills."

You heard the divine voice, gimme the sleepy drugs. I’ll continue to follow ED’s will with whatever he wants me to do with them.

Spoiler: EEEDD (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Congregation of ED (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: STANpool (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Things done (click to show/hide)

35
Roll To Dodge / Re: MOOK: Clouds like raw meat
« on: April 13, 2021, 09:25:35 pm »
”Good merchants, you honor us! I see your offers of beneficence and aid and offer you something in return, as servants of the greater good hidden inside all of us. Allow me temporary use of a blade and we shall show you greatness!”

Attempt to borrow a knife off of one of the merchants. Use my teeth if none are willing. Do these things:
1. Draw my blood by cutting my palm. Drip it onto the BlessED 888-Ball, which CharliED shall hold and turn in his hands so it becomes fully coated in my vitae. Do other occultish stuff as necessary to invoke the right atmosphere. Just don't mutilate anybody.
2. Gaze into the readout screen of the ball and ask ED to speak his will for these tradespeople through the vessel of my body.
3. Reach deep into my gullet (metaphorically speaking) and attempt to speak with ED's voice. Tell the merchants what the Sacred Name wills of them, whatever that may be.
4. Profit!

((I have no idea if this will actually accomplish anything, but I see an opportunity to potentially incite a frenzied riot and imma take it))


Spoiler: EEEDD (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Congregation of ED (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: STANpool (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Things done (click to show/hide)

36
Roll To Dodge / Re: MOOK: Clouds like raw meat
« on: April 10, 2021, 08:22:15 pm »
”Fear not, noble guards, for the only weapon I carry is the faith in my heart! And all of these various blades and guns, but that's a trivial matter.”

Give up my weapons - those being the ceremonial dagger and the ammo for my minigun. See if I can convince the guards to let me have the minigun without the ammo, seeing as it's technically a religious artifact and I don't really know how to fire it anyway. If they insist, don't make a fuss. Then proceed and see what opportunities might catch my eye!

Spoiler: EEEDD (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Congregation of ED (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: STANpool (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Things done (click to show/hide)

37
Roll To Dodge / Re: MOOK: Clouds like raw meat
« on: April 07, 2021, 10:18:31 am »
”Excellent running, lad! We’ll make it there in no time at this rate!”

Continue our afternoon run to the Bizarre. Take the direct route if possible, but avoid any hazards that might present themselves to us.

Spoiler: EEEDD (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Congregation of ED (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: STANpool (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Things done (click to show/hide)

38
Roll To Dodge / Re: MOOK: Clouds like raw meat
« on: April 01, 2021, 05:42:59 pm »
”Perfect! I propose we head there with swiftness - I sense that my fellow OMNICORP employees are not long from engaging in our uniquely destructive brand of competence, so we’d best be out of the potential blast radius.”

To the Bizzare! Avoid the gravity ball and the unintentional cargo bomb as best we can. If we manage to get there without running afoul of something or other, scan for more receptive people. There’s power in numbers, after all!

Spoiler: EEEDD (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Congregation of ED (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: STANpool (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Things done (click to show/hide)
[/quote]

39
Roll To Dodge / Re: MOOK: Clouds like raw meat
« on: March 27, 2021, 04:16:00 pm »
Having bestowed this young one with his first Sacred Letters - now he's CharliED - ask him about anyone else he knows that'd be receptive to the faith. If there aren't any in the immediate area, simply get whatever info he has on the local area - people or places [that the narrator hasn't already exposited], maybe whether that Sunny Smiles fellow runs his gang in a theologically crazy or simply crazy manner.

Spoiler: EEEDD (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Congregation of ED (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: STANpool (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Things done (click to show/hide)

40
Roll To Dodge / Re: MOOK: Clouds like raw meat
« on: March 24, 2021, 09:39:42 pm »
EEEDD smiles earnestly at the sight of the lad. Throw a seed far enough and it'll find fertile ground somewhere!

Casually approach the young man once the group starts to scatter a little bit. Don't open up right away with the gospel talk, instead offer to fix some of his ailments with chiropractic technique. Then start discussing the virtues of ED while I'm working on him, barber-chat style.

Internally regret not having invested more into speech before this.


Spoiler: EEEDD (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Congregation of ED (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: STANpool (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Things done (click to show/hide)

41
Roll To Dodge / Re: MOOK: Clouds like raw meat
« on: March 20, 2021, 07:37:56 pm »
Faith needs no results for the devoted to adhere to it. It merely needs to exist.

Evaluate this bunch of prospective EDvotees. Are there any that my gut tells me are ripe for conversion? Any that look desperate, or sickly, or afflicted with spinal problems? Look for emotional/spiritual vulnerability like I'm Reddit searching for a meme to ruin. Not gonna explicitly speak up yet just on account of the impending diploball.

Spoiler: EEEDD (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Congregation of ED (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: STANpool (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Things done (click to show/hide)

42
General Discussion / Re: Goblins: In Which God Is A HEMA Nerd
« on: March 18, 2021, 12:22:26 pm »
Huh, makes sense. I really need to reread the comic one of these days.

43
General Discussion / Re: Goblins: In Which God Is A HEMA Nerd
« on: March 18, 2021, 11:17:44 am »
Goddamn, I’m not used to that level of actual niceness out of this comic.

Also, Ears is gay? Huh. Well, suppose this is as good a way as any to find that out. 

44
Roll To Dodge / Re: MOOK: Clouds like raw meat
« on: March 17, 2021, 08:13:24 pm »
EEEDD, after many hours of contemplating his newest revelation, speaks only at a mumble, hardly audible to anyone save himself. His eyelids are closed, but the eyes beneath twitch spasmodically back and forth.

"I understand, oh ED, bearer of our names and our troubles and our lives. The people of this land are fearful and ignorant of greater aspirations than mere survival, so I shall not make faith a matter of comfort or luxury for them. Instead I shall instruct them in the manner in which it may be a tool of survival, one they have neither reason nor right to refuse. Blessed be the Sacred Name, accursed may WV be forevermore."

Pray until we reach whatever destination our tour guides decide to place us in. Draw ED's favor upon me to assist in my upcoming, more forceful, method of conversion.

Spoiler: EEEDD (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Congregation of ED (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: STANpool (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Things done (click to show/hide)

45
Roll To Dodge / Re: MOOK: Clouds like raw meat
« on: March 13, 2021, 09:48:34 pm »
EEEDD, having stood in disbelief that soldiers in need of salvation would refuse an open offering for a good few minutes, snaps out of his fugue. No use wasting time, after all! If they would not welcome his theological teachings, then he'd simply have to ram them in at the source.

Change tack and ask around to see if these people have a priest or anything of the sort - hell, even a motivational speaker would do. Then find this person, if they exist. My intent is to engage in a theological debate with them and assert the dominance of EDism.

Consult my inner ED as I go to this meeting to determine the proper stance towards heathens.


Spoiler: EEEDD (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Congregation of ED (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: STANpool (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Things done (click to show/hide)

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