One of the other things she said to me is what if I'm fighting to win her over, only to have my heart broken. Essentially, charging headlong into the fray and overtaking obstacles only to reach a cliff and be pushed off it. My response essentially, was at least I got to enjoy the moments we did share together, and when it comes down to it, isn't that what relationships are all about? She may not be the one I will spend the rest of my life with, she might not be the one before that, or the one before that, and she might not even be the woman who takes my virginity, but it was damn fun and enjoyable spending the times I could with her.
This is a good thing that you have this attitude, if it's any consolation. Probably. I know it's one of the few things that've kept me relatively sane through the span of my attraction. I tuck what I can into well-hidden drawers in my mind - various things that indicate that she'd probably date me if not for already being in a loving relationship - including one time she outright said that - things we've done together, mainly comprising of going to local food places and walking about our neighborhood talking about random shit, etc. Stuff that makes all the rest of it kinda bearable.
Blergh. I either need to talk to somebody about this or hijack my hormonal system to be attracted to someone else (or no one, preferably) because it's only a matter of time before I end up saying something that'll give me away and I don't know that I could really withstand this particular metaphorical boil bursting.
I mean goddamn I'm tired as shit but I'm delaying going to sleep because there'd be a period before I fully fell asleep where I'd have no internet article or forum game or book or music to distract my mind from going through thought trains about her, no way that's healthy