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Messages - Xantalos

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3031
General Discussion / Re: Drunk Thread -(Awesome Thread)-
« on: December 13, 2015, 04:28:47 am »
True that. I kept on getting this feeling that I should be terrified by the inability to think as well as I could before but I was too drunk to really process it.

3032
General Discussion / Re: Drunk Thread -(Awesome Thread)-
« on: December 13, 2015, 04:05:04 am »
I just have a hard time understanding why people desire that. If I'd been by myself I'd have spent the next several hours quivering in existential dread. As it is I was too lovedrunk to do that, but the inclination was there.

3033
General Discussion / Re: Drunk Thread -(Awesome Thread)-
« on: December 13, 2015, 03:47:19 am »
Nope, ate a small plate of fries and chicken strips beforehand. May have been placebo effect, it's hard to tell.
...
Actually now that I look back at it, the effects didn't set in immediately, or even in a few minutes - took at least 5 or 10 probably to hit full swing.

3034
General Discussion / Re: Drunk Thread -(Awesome Thread)-
« on: December 13, 2015, 03:24:19 am »
It felt like one minute at least, and it was a really big swig of straight vodka. More like a gulp.

Also my third time drinking total.

Probably more than a minute for it to fully kick in, but I wasn't exactly a bastion of scientific accuracy at the time.

3035
General Discussion / Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« on: December 13, 2015, 03:16:13 am »
One of the other things she said to me is what if I'm fighting to win her over, only to have my heart broken. Essentially, charging headlong into the fray and overtaking obstacles only to reach a cliff and be pushed off it. My response essentially, was at least I got to enjoy the moments we did share together, and when it comes down to it, isn't that what relationships are all about? She may not be the one I will spend the rest of my life with, she might not be the one before that, or the one before that, and she might not even be the woman who takes my virginity, but it was damn fun and enjoyable spending the times I could with her.
This is a good thing that you have this attitude, if it's any consolation. Probably. I know it's one of the few things that've kept me relatively sane through the span of my attraction. I tuck what I can into well-hidden drawers in my mind - various things that indicate that she'd probably date me if not for already being in a loving relationship - including one time she outright said that - things we've done together, mainly comprising of going to local food places and walking about our neighborhood talking about random shit, etc. Stuff that makes all the rest of it kinda bearable.

Blergh. I either need to talk to somebody about this or hijack my hormonal system to be attracted to someone else (or no one, preferably) because it's only a matter of time before I end up saying something that'll give me away and I don't know that I could really withstand this particular metaphorical boil bursting.
I mean goddamn I'm tired as shit but I'm delaying going to sleep because there'd be a period before I fully fell asleep where I'd have no internet article or forum game or book or music to distract my mind from going through thought trains about her, no way that's healthy

3037
General Discussion / Re: Drunk Thread -(Awesome Thread)-
« on: December 13, 2015, 01:10:04 am »
The sensation of being drunk is unpleasant.

Well, I assume I experienced genuine drunkenness a week ago. I was at a birthday party and my friend who I'm attracted to but must never ever try to be with passed me a bottle of vodka after taking a swig. I imitated her, drinking a good mouthful of the stuff, because I was feeling stupid and my judgement was likely a tad impaired already. Did not anticipate it being that strong. Within a minute I could observe:

-a half-second delay in all my motions. I'd look somewhere but only snap to it a moment later.
-fuzzy everything. Fuzzy head clouding my thoughts, and all my other body parts felt thick and clumsy and tingly.
-the efficacy of my senses as a whole was reduced - I couldn't hear as well for instance, or maybe not process the data I was receiving as well.
-really impaired balance.
-retardation of my mental processes. I was literally sitting there feeling my brain go Flowers For Algernon on itself. I couldn't find words beyond the simplest to express myself and I couldn't even properly document the experience because my thoughts came so slowly and hazily. I'd try to describe yo my friend how drunk I was, only to cut myself off and swear when I couldn't find the right word, only to cut myself off with 'fuck' or 'shit' when I couldn't find a good swear word in my mind. I'd then try to swear to express my frustration at not being able to swear properly, only to go through the same cycle. It was like I had Tourette's.

Overall, an unpleasant sensation, likely excaberated by the fact that nearby me people were getting into fights for no reason. As soon as I could I purged it from myself by drinking around 3 liters of water, perhaps more. It was a refreshing sensation returning to intelligence.

3038
General Discussion / Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« on: December 13, 2015, 12:28:11 am »
True, at this point the upper boards are about a foreign place to me as 4chan.

3039
General Discussion / Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« on: December 13, 2015, 12:07:06 am »
I should elucidate - I work in a grocery store, or more specifically some weird restaurant/fast food thing with the same brand as the grocery store inside the store itself, not like a McDonald's inside a Walmart, and I'd basically be promoted to assistant supervisor/cook of the department, which'd likely only happen after a year or so. An extra dollar or two an hour and slightly increased responsibilities would be my reward - I've done most of what they do several times when no cook was scheduled for shift. The only things I haven't done that they do are stressing myself out about ordering all the boxes and containers and food we need and sometimes have trouble with suppliers. No challenge there, nor satisfaction having achieved it. It'd just be more stressful meh at best in a position that'd likely require I work full time there. Not doing that.

3040
General Discussion / Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« on: December 12, 2015, 10:22:53 pm »
I'm beginning to understand why depression seems to skyrocket around this time of year. Almost, if not all, of the messages both subliminal and explicit bandied about in Christmas advertising, songs, and theme seem to be pinpointed towards my emotional vulnerable points. It doesn't help that I'm exposed to all three in excessive quantities at my job, which is also growing more stressful as the days go by, both due to this fucking emotional attraction that I not only didn't ask for but explicitly hoped wouldn't happen and the influx of customers buying shit as Christmas approaches.

Another thing about this is that I'm really good at my job - not a big accomplishment, I go multi-hour stretches without actually thinking - and the management in my department, who all like me quite a bit due to my work ethic, are starting efforts to cajole/pressure me into increasing my hours so I'm there more - currently I work almost but not quite full time and they want me to up that so they can promote me. I don't have the heart to tell them that I'm miserable at this job and am beginning to despise it with all of my internal organs. I mean, usually I'm an easygoing person and I haven't gotten angry in years but that place brings me as close as I've been for a while. I look at the customers I serve with actual disdain and resentment now. Why? I don't know them, they could be okay people. But because they bring me work I feel disgruntled towards them for no good reason. I dislike the person it's molding me into.
Can't wait to get out of here or dramatically reduce my hours and go to school - which will bring me around as much angst about my fucking love interest that I didn't even voluntarily choose because she goes to the institution I've applied to, which in hindsight was a factor in my decision making.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck this bullshit teenage angst I thought after 3 fucking years of the stuff I'd be over it but noooo it just has to gradually transition into adult angst

3041
General Discussion / Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« on: December 12, 2015, 09:56:17 pm »
this topic is about all I can see on Bay 12, and we're not in a feature-making devcycle so it's not as noticeable, but on reddit it's completely awful. Every single time Toady decides to do anything that isn't bugfixes, people immediately say how stupid it is that he wants to develop instead of making bugfixes because he never does that I guess. They then disappear until the next development cycle, at which point they come out in full force to whine.
Quote
reddit
There's your problem

3042
Roll To Dodge / Re: The Infinite Heavens: Amputee Voltron
« on: December 12, 2015, 03:31:40 pm »
Xankarvo, eager to make up his forgetting to move last round, rushes over to the railing.

"The fuck was that?"

Observe the exploration party

3043
Roll To Dodge / Re: Our Salvation: Recycled, But Formidable
« on: December 12, 2015, 02:55:02 pm »
"Yeah, he don't want nobody to bother him, which is why he jumped out at me with a metal stick instead of politely asking me to go away.
...
Worked out for him, I guess, he's got me doing this now. Eh, it'll be useful. Not sure why I want a sword, but it seems a thing worth going through some shit for.

So! Priceless, purple, profane. Best find out if there's any purple paint here, that way I'll be able to do it in all three at once."


He begins jogging after the nearest person he can see.

"'Scuse me! Care to help a feller out?"

Attempt communication with nearest person.

3044
Shit, SAO Abridged is actually really good. I just heard about it so I looked it up and it's gone very well compared to what little I've seen of the actual show. I mean, it has actual character arcs and meaningful development and stuff. It's nice. Actually worth completely fucking my sleep schedule over for.

3045
General Discussion / Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« on: December 12, 2015, 03:51:45 am »
Implying that bog-standard rickrolling isn't shitposting at this point? It's less creative and thought-provoking than answering Darude - Sandstorm when someone asks what a song is.

It's well beyond evoking any emotion, even annoyance, delving into the abyss of mild apathy. Getting rickrolled is the online equivalent of someone you barely know telling you about something they claim is interesting that turns out to be dull, but not even dull enough for you can recount the experience to someone else later in the vein of "can you believe how boring they are?" The grey, empty chaff that fills the cracks of existence. A digital manifestation of the essence of ennui. That's what rickrolling is these days.
That said, sigged

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