Watching the Colbert Report. Colbert is talking about a specific incident where a driver said, "I just realized I'm Jesus Christ and I can do whatever I want." He then proceeded to ram a man in between his car and another car. He got out and put a woman who was trying to help into a headlock.
Then magic happened. A homeless hitchhiker with a hatchet (Alliteration ftw) came in and... Hatchet'd the 'Jesus' guy. I am unsure if this means to death or just to unconsciousness. But still. First time in human history someone has said, "Man, I'm glad that homeless hitchhiker had a hatchet..."
Ah, Comedy Central, why you so good to me?
And I think it's gonna be a long long time
Till touchdown brings me 'round again to find
I'm not the man they think I am
Oh no, no
I'm a hatchet man.