I can't tell if I'm depressed or just lovesick and am being a bitch about it. On one hand, I'm tired all the time, my sleep schedule's way out of whack, I hardly ever have contact with other people than my mom, I can't motivate myself to do anything, I'm growing to really dislike my job, my room's messy as hell because I'm too damn lazy to clean up after myself (and with family out of town for the weekend the house is swiftly descending into disorder too), thoughts of despair at my current predicament are becoming more and more common, with the way my job schedule works I never get home before around midnight which means I practivally never eat dinner anymore - in fact over the last few months I've been steadily eating less and less and I've actuslly lost 10 pounds sometime in the last 4 or 5 months, which is actually a bad thing at my age since I'm fairly young, and I'm slowly losing interest in stuff I do for entertainment like reading and RP and watching let's plays and stuff.
On the other hand, I knew my crush was working at our workplace so I went to visit her, stopping along the way at a few bakeries and delis she likes to get her food, hung around at the store where we work for something like 3 hours and ended up buying a bunch of other foods to share between us on her break, spending way more money than I normally do in a day, went home afterward all happy and made a really awesome dinner for myself, and am only back to my usual glum self now that the high's worn off and I've started to miss her again.
Maybe it's both now that I think of it, I don't think I've ever read anything that says you can't be in love and depressed at the same time.
I dunno.
