Bay 12 Games Forum

Ooof, sorry Xan, I knew your reputation was going to come back to bite you.

Eh it's alright, I actually talked about it in PM with Beirus before he left me behind since I'm honestly kinda getting tired of ER for the moment what with the constant dying and long wait periods that implies combined with an inability to do anything interesting.
Most if not all of that's my fault, mind, but still.
That said, if I do get recovered somehow I'll still play as Xan, I just don't give much of a fuck at this point.

Xankarvo considers this, then spits in his hand.

Prove it. Turn this saliva to gasoline.

Avoid any sort of harm that results from this action.

You.

Convey in my limited understanding (at present) of language that his behaviour is unnerving me.

This is the fourth time I've tried to attend college. This is the fourth time I've failed to attend college. At least, it's going to be. All I can think about is that I'm worthless and how I'm a failure and that my dad was right, that I can't finish anything, that I can never actually be a responsible adult because I've never been able to handle any sort of responsibility.
I hate myself for saying this stuff but I can't help it. It's probably true anyway. I should just hospitalize myself before I make any more huge mistakes.

As someone who's been in a very similar scenario (to what you posted here, probably not anything else about your life), it's not really true. The negative downtalk they pile on you over the years colors your perceptions of yourself - or at least it sure as hell did/still does me. You're worth more than that, though, what with what everyone else has said and the fact that you've kept on going back to college so many times. That takes dedication.

Sigh....

My life has felt like it's been about nothing but work for way too long... haven't felt like I've had a restful period since October of last year.  And it's not getting better anytime soon.  I've worked all but two days out of the past month.  Fucking burned out.  Motivation and enthusiasm from the promotion is wearing off.  At least it feels that way tonight.  I knew this was going to suck, but expectation isn't comfort.

Doesn't help that as soon as I got promoted, the one coworker that I desperately needed to be able to depend on drastically shifted her attitude towards me, and now seems intent on dragging me down.  Turns out she has really fucked up attitudes towards authority.  She's really dodgy whenever I try to talk to her about it, but the best I can interpret is that she doesn't think I'm taking control and directing the team enough... but when I do, it's a sign that I've changed and the position has "gone to my head".  She complains whenever work isn't falling into her lap for a few minutes, but also complains if anything involves more work on her part than she thinks it should.  Seriously, wtf.  And she wasn't doing this shit back when there was no supervisor.

Feeling more alone than ever before in my life... and that's pretty bad.

Argh. I feel for you, man. Unfortunately I can't offer any advice for your scenario apart from 'hope that human dickishness stops existing', but I do sympathize with the ordeal you're going through. Haven't gone through something of that intensity myself, and I hope never to, but I hope it gets better for you.

I'm pretty sure there's another Chaos God out there who feeds off of frustration and longing for improvement, and is the God of 'Canon'.

That'd be Tzneetch.

Xankarvo decides to speak up. This is a good idea.

You! Hitchhiker person. What merits do you offer that we should allow you in our company?

I figured out why
Those guys were some of the 20 Good Men.

Stay quiet in the jeep, be cautious, maintain my existence, etc.