Bay 12 Games Forum

Cross posting in terrified thread because it's sorta both.

I do martial arts, have for a significant portion of my life, I've said things to this effect before. But up until now it's been purely in the role of a student; I teach classes fairly regularly but I don't decide the advancement of other students or anything like that. But recently my sensei and I have been looking into setting up a subsidiary school that I'd run a few days a week as a way for me to continue doing martial arts as I go through school and also make money, and it's been implied to possibly lead into other things...?

This prospect is naturally exhilarating, but also fucking terrifying because holy shit that's a huge responsibility I'd be trusted with and the thought of accidentally fucking it up petrifies me. If it goes through it'd be such a good occupation! I already do this stuff for fun and health several times a week, if I can make that passion into a livelihood then I'd be effectively bettering myself, for money! Who could ask for more than that as far as occupation goes? But if I fuck up I won't just have let down a business opportunity, I'll have let down my mentor's trust in me, which took a long time to build up.

I'm resolved to not fuck up, but still. Looking at it in the future is ... I know it'll be such a good opportunity for growth, learning valuable shit, and bettering the lives of other people if it goes through and I want to succeed in it so badly. That's what scares me, I think - I've rarely desired something to this degree, and I have little to reference and compare it to. The only sort of emotional state I've experienced that's remotely similar to this cocktail of excitement and terror are the various times I've legitimately become infatuated with somebody, and even that doesn't really match up entirely.

_{the fact that that's also happening again but in what appears to be a potentially receptive situation both is and isn't helping things aaaa}

1 and 7 are pretty much just super sharp daggers. I'll keep reposting this with subsequent actions.

"The hell are you meatbags grousing about? I look like a fucking Siccapo painting and you don't see me complaining."

Get knives 1 and 7 out and get ready for potential combat while the others do fleshy meat sack things. That search light triggered my suspicions.

Saw it a few days ago. I think the most definitive thing that could be said about it is 'kinda'. It kinda had a story, kinda developed its characters, kinda subverted expectations. It didn't really pull any of those off successfully in my view, but it kinda got there.

So yeah, I can't really get mad at it, but I can't really bring myself to particularly care either. It's just kinda there.

So, eh. It looked pretty good though.

((I do what I can! (and also what my muse forces me to))

As an aside, check my previous post if you missed it, Paris. It went up just before you posted so there's a chance you could overlook it when you go to write a new turn.

"...I'm okay with this."

Stay relatively chill. If Freddy looks like he's gonna crash into something or is getting too far from the party, shout some variation of 'stop, go back to them' until he listens. Include swearing if the first few attempts don't work.

It doth appear that he's in recovery now and everything worked out, with quite a bit of luck on his end. So that's fortunate to hear.

”Ah good, it’d stink if I lost those. Thanks Brad!”

Why would I want to stop being me? I’m awesome! Focus as much as I can on retaining my psychological integrity, using stuff like my memories of the various shenanigans I’ve pulled to anchor me.

Oh, and talk to Ike if I can spare the effort - say hi.