Bay 12 Games Forum

no D&D they did not go through Valyria what the fuck were you even on
That was the sunken city along the Rhoyne! Valyria's an entire peninsula, full of toxic gas and obsidian and boiling seas and fucking demons and volcanos or some shit, Gerion Lannister had to buy slaves to go in there, one guy in the books who I'll not name makes a huge fucking reputation for himself out of just sailing near the place, and in season 2 you had a guy being painted by Quaithe with ritual paints and stuff because he was heading by there! You don't just have a Tyrion and Jorah fucking waltz in there in a fucking paddle boat what the fuck. Would it have been that much trouble to just say 'oh we're heading through this one sunken city that Valyria totally fucked up back in the day, oh Valyria was so awesome diddle diddle diddle'.

"Ser Ian"

"D & D, I am yours to direct."

"Rise, Ser Ian. You may need to contact your agent. You have served the show long and faithfully. Every man and woman in the fandom owes you thanks. But it is time to put aside your great character and your fine acting talents. It is time to rest and look back with pride on your many seasons of service."

"D & D, the role of Barristan Selmy is a set deal. He goes on for at least another book. Only GRRM can relieve him of his narrative importance."

"Who says, Ser Ian? Your faith in the books, or your desire for further paychecks?"

Other D: "We need to find space for Tyrion. You're too old to do action."

"D & D..."

"The accountants have determined we need to scale down the number of actors. Ser Iain Glen or Ser Michiel Huisman will take your place as sounding board for Dany's ineptitude."

"The men who have already had more screentime with Emilia Clarke than I have?"

"Careful, old man!"

GRRM: "We have nothing but gratitude for your long service, Ser Ian. You shall be given a good salary for your four or so scenes this season, and many fans to remember your every awesome moment."

"A season to die in and men to replace me! *rips up contract* I am a prominent POV character. I shall die a prominent POV character."

Actors who would have liked to play any of the Greyjoys: "A pointless POV character, apparently."

"Even now I could cut through the five of you with my awesome voice like carving a cake! *throws GRRM's A Dance with Dragons to D & D's feet* "Here, D & D! Cut it down and condense it like the others."