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Pharika: "Stop that! It tickles!"

Digest him faster.

Right!

Quote from: Mr Frog on April 26, 2014, 11:04:26 pm

Talvi, if you'd please post some kind of anything just to assure us you're okay it'd be greeeeat. I'm kinda worried after your last post.

*posts some kind of anything*

Nope, I'm here... just "eh". Not feeling the greatest, and I haven't for a while. I hit a minor case of writer's block with the story... I can't figure out how to untangle it. That plus feeling depressed sets me at a less-than-optimal working capacity... I guess I got past the point where I craved socialization - not being able to find it, I guess I kind of retreated reclusively, almost as a reflex... it's not helping me feel any better, but at least I'm not feeling any worse anymore. That's a plus, I suppose. it's sort of like damage control.

A few nights ago I came very close to pouring everything out either in this thread, or making a new one in the Life Advice board... but ultimately decided against it. For here, it was because it seemed self-important, whiny and off-topic. For the lower boards, it was a heaping helping of the first two and the knowledge that it was very likely that the "advice" people gave me wouldn't be very helpful. I actually had someone try to urge me to kill myself a week or so ago. Never had that happen before... weird thing is, they actually seemed like they weren't being cruel, but like they thought they were helping and being compassionate. lol

so, at this point, I don't really know what to do. I'm mostly occupying my time coding where I don't have to think about anything. I'm writing what will hopefully be a pseudointelligent chat bot, in java. as to the story, my confidence got a little shakier and finally fell apart. Not sure how to piece it back together. My natural inclination would be to socialize it away, but when I tried that, it had the opposite effect, like I said above. Mr Frog, if you remember what I said happened last year/last October, it's not quite that bad right now... so don't feel too alarmed. I would've PM'd you, and I even started writing, but then felt bad about it because I basically feel like I'm beginning to sound like a broken record. People have given me advice, or suggested things I should try, but none of it is actually working. What I really needed, I think, was socialization, but I never feel comfortable with seriously asking it of anybody because I, myself, don't know just to what lengths I mean by that, and it feels like I'd be asking more than I deserve... anyway, the heavy depression stuff is still there. tried talking to my folks about it, but somehow they think I'm making it up.

So... hmm. I don't really know what to do about it all anymore.

Whoa... I don't know how people cope with this stuff, but you really are the strongest type of people.

I might not be able to help, but if you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm here. And sometimes soft sunlight helps alleviate or mitigate some darker emotions, from my experiences... maybe you could try that Ignore that, it's a late night...

Pharika: Using the boundless dead of Grixis, create five of my Nyx-snakes with the mana.

I assumed everyone fled my poor writing '^^

Explore Esper.

Pharika: Side Action: Release the Omegalisk.

Procyon: Sleep until convoy is ready.

((That's not a bad observation.))

((Ninja'd: I love it))