Bay 12 Games Forum

Granted.

But it cannot just walk into Mordor...
Unless it does the silly walk from Monty Python. You conquer Mordor, but feel like an iditot while doing so.
I wish for a husky.

Battle Libarians

Visit the Guinness brewery.

A adamantine dog that leaves a trail of webs wherever it goes. It also breathes mustard gas, lays eggs, and is the size of Mt. Everest.

Good job with my report!

I kind of expected it to be a bit gorier, though.

Since this thread has been completely derailed, here's my contribution.

From Ernest Satowz book A Diplomat up in Japan:

Thus there arose five and six classez of barons, as they may dopest be called, ta render they posizzle intelligible ta tha English reader. Firstly, there was tha Three Families descended from [Iyeyasu's] most favored sons, fo' whom accordin ta tha constipation established by his ass up in case of a default of direct heirs, tha successor ta tha Shogunate was ta be chosen (as a matta of fact resort was had only ta Ki-shiu when a break up in tha line occurred). Next came tha Related Families (Kamon) sprung from his fuckin lil'er sons, n' up in tha third place was ranked tha Lordz of Provinces (Koku-shi).

Didn't turned out as I had hoped, really. Also, "constipation established by his ass up..."?

From my partially modded game:

A hunter goes berserk and stabs a farmer twice in the pancreas with the bayonet of her bismuth bronze rifle. Then she bayonets a cat's paw, causing it to sail off in an arc. At this point another hunter notices that there's a homicidal maniac running around and that he should probably do something about it with the rifle he has in his hands. The berserk dwarf is hit in the right upper leg, chipping the bone. She falls over and gives into pain, and she is shot twice in the left and once in the pancreas. A few shots hit her legs, opening arteries in the left lower leg and the right upper leg. A few shots hit her arm, opening an artery. Then a -palm round- (I should've mentioned this before, but she was shot with wooden bullets) tears though her guts, and she vomits several times. She regains consciousnesses, gives into pain again, vomits a few times, comes to again, vomits, gives into pain, vomits repeatedly, wakes up, gives into pain, vomits several more times, comes to again, vomits, gathers up the willpower to move 1 tile, and vomits. Another hunter joins the understaffed and incompetent (if not sadistic) firing squad and the two end up shooting the psycho who has become the hero of this tale through sheer sympathy. They shoot her in the right upper leg, chipping the bone and in the left lung (AGAIN). She vomits and gives into pain for the umpteenth time and gets shot in the liver. Then she vomits, gets shot in the leg, and vomits again.

I really needed to post this. I couldn't start playing again until this was memorialized somehow. Oh, and a minor detail: please draw the rifles as bolt action rifles.

EDIT: I just found out the berserker is missing her right arm.