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Combat

FIND MISKO'S FATHER. KILL HIM WITH MY BARE HANDS THEN GIVE THE BODY TO TCM'S SOUL.
SUE DEAD FATHER'S SOUL FOR THE CRIME OF DEATH.

[6] YOU KILL HIM SO HARD, HIS BODY EXPLODES IN A SHOWER OF GORE. OOPS.
[4V3] YOU SUE THE DEAD FATHER, AND AS HE CAN'T DEFEND HIMSELF, YOU INSTANTLY WIN, AND GET HIS LIFE SAVINGS.

STOP MULTI UNIVERSE FROM EXPLODING BY ANY MEANS THAT DON'T INCLUDE MAKING THEM SEPERATE AGIAN.

[6] YOU STOP IT FROM EXPLODING BY TRYING EXPLODING IT BEFORE IT EXPLODES.

>Sue Corai for dickery. Obtain Restraining order.
>Be less gentle with girlfriend about space.
>Falcon Punch Satan for being shitty lawyer.

[2V6] YOU TRY TO SUE HIM, WHEN YOU REALISE HE KILLED YOUR FATHER. WHAT A DICK.
[2] SHE STILL WON'T LISTEN TO YOU.
[6V5] YOU FALCON PUNCH SATAN, AND HE PROMISES TO BE A BETTER LAWYER.

BREAK OUT OF HELL USING CHRISTIAN POWERS

THEN FIND MISKO AND STAB HIM 157000 TIMES

ALREADY OUT OF HELL, REMEMBER? [1] YOU STAB YOUR INCORPOREAL FORM 157000 UNTIL YOU FINALLY DIE OF EXHAUSTION. YOU TURN INTO A ZOMBIE.

FLOAT OUT OF UNIVERSE USING A OUT-OF-UNIVERSE FLOATER BOUGHT FOR $99.99 AT WALMART

EAT BAGEL

[3] IF YOU'RE GOING OUT OF THE UNIVERSE, YOU'RE GOING TO NEED FOOD. SO, YOU BUY A YEAR'S SUPPLY OF BAGELS FOR $999.99. THEY WERE ON SPECIAL! YOU EAT ONE, AND IT TASTES GOOD.

WHAT? NOT MY WAY?
YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT MY WAY IS?

Quote from: GreatWyrmGold on November 24, 2012, 05:41:36 pm

As the Constitution does not state the government can control how gravity affects people, rewrite laws of physics to allow people to choose how gravity affects them.

THAT IS MY WAY.

[4] OK, OK. YOU WRITE DOWN THAT PEOPLE CAN CHOSE HOW GRAVITY AFFECTS THEM.
...

6 TURNS UNTILL UNIVERSE EXPLOSION. 3 TURNS UNTIL UNIVERSE DETONATION.

MRWIGGLES: FLOATING
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, PEN, LAWS OF PHYSICS

MULLET MASTER: FLOATING
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE

SPINAL TAPER: FLOATING
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE

MISKO27: GETTING SHOT AT, FLOATING
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, CLINGY GIRLFRIEND

ANSONTAN2000: FLOATING
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, PEN, BLANK PIECE OF PAPER

TCM: ZOMBINATING, FLOATING
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, MACHINE PISTOL, UZI

GREATWYRMGOLD: REWRITING LAWS OF PHYSICS, FLOATING
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, PEN, LAWS OF PHYSICS

TERRAHEX: FLOATING
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE

CORAI: KILLING FATHERS, FLOATING
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, LIFE SAVINGS x2, PISTOL

YOINK: REWRITING THE LAW ENFORCEMENT SCHEME, FAILING AT HIGH-FIVES, FLOATING
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, 1/2 SMALL FORTUNE, PEN, LAW ENFORCEMENT

TAVIK TOOTH: ENDING THE WOOOOORLD, TWICE, FLOATING
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, PEN, LAWS OF PHYSICS

LORDSLOWPOKE: TURNING ME INTO A BEAUTIFUL CODEX, FLOATING
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, YEAR'S SUPPLY OF BAGELS

>Sue GWG to get Gravity re-instated as was.
>What? A Criminal isn't the best place to get a date? Bull. Set Ground rules though. Boundries.
>Sue TCM FOR MASS MURDER (I EDITED THIS MYSELF BY THE WAY BECAUSE I'M TOO LAZY TO INSERT QUOTE)
 

[3V3] GWG IS PERFECTLY HAPPY WITH THE RULES AS THEY ARE, AND WILL NOT CHANGE THE LAWS, EVEN IF YOU DO SUE HIM.
[2] SHE COMPLETELY IGNORES YOUR REQUESTS.
[5V2,5] YOU WOULD OF BEATEN TCM, BUT THEN CORAI STARTS SHOOTING AT YOU. THAT'S GOT TO BE ILLEGAL! YOU ALSO NOTICE TCM SHOOTING HIMSELF.

START A FOUNDATION TO EDUCATE IMPOVERISHED YOUNG BLACK THUGS. CALL IT "REAL LAW NIGGAS SOCIETY".

ALSO, SHOOT MISKO WITH AN UZI.

[6] YOU START THE FOUNDATION, BUT BEFORE LONG YOU MAKE THEM GO OUT ON A RAMPAGE ACROSS THE CITY. YOU GET ARRESTED. HOWEVER, BEFORE THE COURT CASE BEGINS, YOU ARE SUED BY MISKO. [2,5V5] YOU WOULD OF BEEN BEATEN, IF IT WEREN'T FOR CORAI SAVING YOUR ASS AGAIN. [1] YOU SHOOT YOURSELF IN THE HEAD, AND ARE DRAGGED DOWN TO HELL.
[3] YOU MANAGE TO SHOOT MISKO A BIT BEFORE YOU GO TO JAIL, THOUGH.

Countersue misko for bothering my attempts to make the laws of physics constitutional.
As the Constitution does not state the government can control how gravity affects people (and to get misko off my back), rewrite laws of physics to allow people to choose how gravity affects them.

[2V2] YOU TRY TO COUNTER-SUE HIM, BUT YOU'RE TOO BUSY MAKING LAWS.
[2] NO, YOU WANT IT THIS WAY, BECAUSE THIS WAY IS YOUR WAY, AND YOUR WAY IS BEST!

SUE THE UNIVERSE FOR ANYTHING.
CHANGE LAWS OF PHYSICS SO THAT ALL UNIVERSES ARE ONE, FTL IS POSSIBLE AND EARTH HAS A SPACE MILITARY.

[5V2] YOU SUE THE UNIVERSE, AND MAKE THE UNIVERSE YOUR WAY.

BECOME THE METALAWYER, PUT ON METALAWYER ROBE AND HAT

CAST LEVEL 99 SCRIPTOMANCY ON THE GM, TURNING HIM INTO A BEAUTIFUL CODEX

[6] I AM A BEAUTIFUL CODEX

[4] GM THANKS YOU BY GIVING YOU $1000

Quote from: misko27 on November 24, 2012, 05:25:55 pm

>Sue TCM for mass-murder.

PROTECT TCM! WITH BOTH WORDS AND BULLETS!

[5,2V5] YOU ALMOST LOSE THE CASE, BUT THEN YOU START SHOOTING, AND IT BECOMES A STALEMATE. YOU NOTICE TCM SHOOTING HIMSELF FOR SOME REASON. HUH.

...

[1] IT TURNS OUT THAT MULTIPLE UNIVERSES CANNOT EXIST TOGETHER, AND SCIENTISTS PREDICT THAT ALL UNIVERSES WILL EXPLODE IN [8] TURNS.

MRWIGGLES: FLOATING
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, PEN, LAWS OF PHYSICS

MULLET MASTER: FLOATING
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE

SPINAL TAPER: FLOATING
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE

MISKO27: GETTING SHOT AT, FLOATING
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, CLINGY GIRLFRIEND

ANSONTAN2000: FLOATING
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, PEN, BLANK PIECE OF PAPER

TCM: GOING TO HELL, FLOATING
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, MACHINE PISTOL, UZI

GREATWYRMGOLD: REWRITING LAWS OF PHYSICS, FLOATING
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, PEN, LAWS OF PHYSICS

TERRAHEX: FLOATING
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE

CORAI: SHOOTING MISKO, FLOATING
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, LIFE SAVINGS, PISTOL

YOINK: REWRITING THE LAW ENFORCEMENT SCHEME, FAILING AT HIGH-FIVES, FLOATING
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, 1/2 SMALL FORTUNE, PEN, LAW ENFORCEMENT

TAVIK TOOTH: ENDING THE WOOOOORLD, FLOATING
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, PEN, LAWS OF PHYSICS

LORDSLOWPOKE: TURNING ME INTO A BEAUTIFUL CODEX, FLOATING
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, $1000

SUE THE JUDGE FOR THE CRIME OF DEATH.

[5V4] YOU SUE THE JUDGE FOR THE CRIME OF DEATH, AND YOU TAKE ALL THE MONEY THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO GO TO HIS CHILDREN AND WIFE.

>HIGH-FIVE MISKO

>CHECK THE COURT LOBBY FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO SUE

>ALSO WONDER WHEN THE LAW ENFORCEMENT IS GOING TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT ALL THESE PEOPLE AND THEIR CHARGES

[3] YOU ADEQUATELY HIGH-FIVE MISKO. HE THINKS YOU BAD AT HIGH-FIVES NOW.
[5] YOU FIND THREE APPLICABLE PEOPLE TO SUE. RICHY MC RICH, (RICH) MIDDLE CLASS MC MIDDLE, (MIDDLE CLASS) AND POORY MC POOR (POOR)

[6] YOU WONDER WHEN LAW ENFORCEMENT IS GOING  TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT THE PEOPLE AND THEIR CHARGES, AND YOU THINK THAT YOU'VE BROUGHT UP A GOOD POINT. YOU RE-WRITE THE LAW ENFORCEMENT SCHEME, MAKING IT THAT PEOPLE WITH CHARGES GET SENT TO JAIL INSTANTLY AND THE WORLD IS ON MARS AND UNICORNS CAN DO ANYTHING AND IF YOU WIN A CASE YOU GET A FREE RAINBOW STICKER.

ARGUE THAT LAWS IF OHYSICS ARE UNCONSTITUTIONAL AND SHOULD THEREFORE BE REPEALED.

[6] YES, THE LAWS ARE UNCONSTITUTIONAL. YOU THINK THAT THEY SHOULD BE MADE YOUR WAY, BUT YOU ALSO REALISE THAT THE PREVIOUS LAWS OF PHYSICS AREN'T ACTUALLY QUITE AS BAD AS THEY SEEM. YOU THINK YOU SHOULD MAKE A COMPROMISE. EVERYONE IS TO BE FLOATING, HALFWAY OF THE GROUND AND HALFWAY FROM THE CEILING. YOU ALSO ADD IN DRAGONS AND KNIGHTS TO THE WORLD, BECAUSE YOU WERE REALLY INTO THAT STUFF AS A KID.

>Re-Sue baliff with a ad quomnem damnum Argument, Followed by a ad colligenda bona to get moneys back.
>Locate attractive Criminal. Defend her in court.
>Ask her Out.

[3V5] DID BALIFF MENTION THAT BALIFF WAS A BALIFF? ANYWAY, BALIFF WON THE CASE.
[2] YOU CAN ONLY FIND A CRIMINAL IN HER LATE 40'S, BUT SHE LOOKS 30. YOU THINK THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU.
[5V2] YOU DEMOLISH THE PROSECUTION, AND THEN ASK HER OUT. SHE SAYS YES, AND [6] THE DATE WENT EXTREMELY WELL. MAYBE TOO WELL. SHE FOLLOWS YOU ANYWHERE AND EVERYWHERE MAYBE THIS WASN'T SUCH A GOOD IDEA AFTER ALL.

MRWIGGLES: FLOATING
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, PEN, LAWS OF PHYSICS

MULLET MASTER: FLOATING
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE

SPINAL TAPER: FLOATING
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE

MISKO27: ROMANTICISING, FLOATING
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, CLINGY GIRLFRIEND

ANSONTAN2000: FLOATING
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, PEN, BLANK PIECE OF PAPER

TCM: SHOOTING JUDGES, FLOATING
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, MACHINE PISTOL

GREATWYRMGOLD: REWRITING LAWS OF PHYSICS, FLOATING
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, PEN, LAWS OF PHYSICS

TERRAHEX: FLOATING
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE

CORAI: SUING DEAD PERSON, FLOATING
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, LIFE SAVINGS

YOINK: REWRITING THE LAW ENFORCEMENT SCHEME, FAILING AT HIGH-FIVES, FLOATING
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, 1/2 SMALL FORTUNE, PEN, LAW ENFORCEMENT

DEFEND GM

MAKE HIM PLEAD INSANITY

USE BAY 12 FORUM MEMBERSHIP AS EVIDENCE

[5V2] OK-WAIT, INSANITY? I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I AM PERFECTLY SANE!

ANYWAY, GM GETS MONEY BACK, HAPPILY EVER AFTER

UTILIZE THUG LAWYER SKILLS: TAKE MY MONET BACK FROM OTHER LAWYERS. BY SHOOTING THEM UNTIL THEY DIE.

[4V6] YOU SHOOT A COUPLE OF LAWYERS, BEFORE THE POLICE COME AND TAKE YOU TO COURT. [2V4, 3V2] YOU USE YOUR THUG LAWYER SKILLS, BUT TO NO AVAIL. HOWEVER, WHEN ALL HOPE SEEMS LOST, CORAI STEPS IN AND SAVES YOU!

JUDGE STARTS TALKING.
"YOU WILL BE LET OFF WITH A WARNING THIS TIME, BUT NEXT TIME I WON'T BE SO NICE!"

Counter-sue in favor of GM.
 
Locate Sexy judge. Sue for a date with her.

[2V6] YOU ARE QUICKLY DEMOLISHED IN THE CASE, AND YOU DO YOUR BEST TO KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE. ONCE YOU GET BACK INTO YOUR OFFICE, THOUGH, YOU START CRYING, AND DECIDE YOU NEED A SELF-ESTEEM BOOST.
[6V3] YOU SUE A SEXY JUDGE, AND WIN! THE TWO OF YOU GO OUT ON A DATE, AND [2] SHE SENSES THAT THINGS AREN'T REALLY WORKING OUT, AND LEAVES YOU.

Quote from: TCM on November 24, 2012, 12:50:32 am

UTILIZE THUG LAWYER SKILLS: TAKE MY MONET BACK FROM OTHER LAWYERS. BY SHOOTING THEM UNTIL THEY DIE.

AID. BECAUSE THUG LAWYER TCM IS EPIC.

[5] YOU REPRESENT TCM IN COURT. SEE ABOVE.

MRWIGGLES: UPSIDE DOWN
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, PEN, LAWS OF PHYSICS

MULLET MASTER: UPSIDE DOWN
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE

SPINAL TAPER: RETHINKING CAREER CHOICE, UPSIDE DOWN
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE

MISKO27: STILL FAILING TO SEDUCE, MAKING SELF CRY, UPSIDE DOWN
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE

ANSONTAN2000: TRYING TO BE A PHYSICIST, UPSIDE DOWN
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, PEN, BLANK PIECE OF PAPER

TCM: SHOOTING LAWYERS, UPSIDE DOWN
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE

GREATWYRMGOLD: SUING GM, UPSIDE DOWN
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE

TERRAHEX: TRYING TO SUE GM (HA!), UPSIDE DOWN
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE

CORAI: DEFENDING MASS MURDERER, UPSIDE DOWN
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE

YOINK: WAIT, I JUST REALISED YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE ATTORNEY AND NOT DEFENCE, UPSIDE DOWN
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE

Be defense.

[6] YOU ARE THE DEFENCE. HAVING NOTHING ELSE TO DO, YOU DEFEND YOURSELF BEING DEFENCE FROM SOME RANDOM GUY
[5V3] RANDOM GUY PUTS UP A REALLY GOOD CASE, AND YOU DECIDE TO BECOME ATTORNEY AGAIN. RANDOM GUY THEN RUNS INTO ANOTHER NEARBY COURTROOM.

>FLIRT WITH PARA-LEGAL
> JOIN SPINAL IN DEFENSE.

[3] PARA-LEGAL ALREADY HAS BOYFRIEND
[6] YOU WOULD JOIN SPINAL IN DEFENCE, BUT YOU'RE BUSY DEFENDING YOUR DECISION TO BE DEFENCE FROM RANDOM GUY, SIMILAR TO SPINAL'S SITUATION. ACTUALLY, ITS EXACTLY THE SAME AS SPINAL'S SITUATION.
[5V6] YOU DEFEND YOURSELF FANTASTICALLY, THE GUY RUNS BAWLING FROM COURTROOM

Re-rewrite the laws of physics, fixing everything and making everything go back to normal.

[3] YOU BEGIN TO RE-WRITE THE LAWS OF PHYSICS, BUT YOU'RE NOT QUITE SURE WHAT THEY ARE. MAYBE YOU SHOULD LOOK IT UP ON THE COMPUTER?

BE THUG LAWYER

LIKE THIS GUY

[6 WTF DICE, I MEAN REALLY] YOU ARE THUG LAWYER, TAKING NO SHIT FROM NOBODY. HOWEVER, SEVERAL OTHER LAWYERS ARE OFFENDED BY YOUR METHODS, AND SUE YOU.
[6V4] THEY SAY YOU MUST BECOME DOCILE LAWYER, OR A SUBSTANTIAL AMOUNT OF YOUR MONEY WILL BE DEDUCTED FROM YOUR BANK ACCOUNT, EVEN THOUGH YOU DON'T HAVE A BANK ACCOUNT YET.

Quote from: borno on November 23, 2012, 09:58:04 pm

Spoiler: NOTE: (click to show/hide)

SUE ME.

SUE GM.

[4V2] YOU SUE THE GM, AND GAIN A SIZEABLE AMOUNT OF HIS MONEY.

HECK NO!
[2] HECK YES, APPARENTLY.

frame GM

[4V4] GM IS NOT TAKING ANY MORE OF THIS SHIT. YOU LAWYERINATE(?) LONG AND HARD, BUT THE BATTLE IS A STALEMATE, AND YOU BOTH JUST STAND THERE, WAITING FOR THE OTHER TO MAKE A MOVE.


MRWIGGLES: UPSIDE DOWN
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, PEN, LAWS OF PHYSICS

MULLET MASTER: UPSIDE DOWN
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE

SPINAL TAPER: RETHINKING CAREER CHOICE, UPSIDE DOWN
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE

MISKO27: FAILING TO SEDUCE, MAKING PEOPLE CRY, UPSIDE DOWN
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE

ANSONTAN2000: TRYING TO BE A PHYSICIST, UPSIDE DOWN
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, PEN, BLANK PIECE OF PAPER

TCM: TRYING TO DIFFERENTIATE SELF IN A COLD CRUEL WORLD, UPSIDE DOWN
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE

GREATWYRMGOLD: SUING GM, UPSIDE DOWN
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, A LOT OF MONEY

TERRAHEX: TRYING TO SUE GM (HA!), UPSIDE DOWN
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE

YAY, NARUTO

WAIT, WHAT?

I HATE NARUTO!

SMASH TV, AND RUN TO WORK