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« on: May 11, 2013, 07:10:39 pm »
Dear Orc McWarchief
I already gave you the position of Warchief. Yes, that means you were the highest-ranking orc in the tribe. Yes, that means you had to set an example to the children on what a proper orc should act like.
This by no means excuses your idiotic idea to wrestle a large snake underwater.
Honestly, what the hell was going through that thick-skinned uruk skull of yours? "I can't swim, I'm weaponless, and I have no skill at wrestling. I'm going to try to strangle a venomous serpent in that deep river over there!" is not the kind of example the children need. You were already warchief - you had the job! You didn't need to prove anything to anyone about your prowess or strength - you were the certified Big Orc of the village! Now your damn widow is having suicidal tendencies and nobody knows whether it was the repeated snakebites or the water in your lungs that killed you first, though I suppose it could have been neither and the dementia finally reached your brain stem. Our only solace is that you were too thick to grab your damn axe first, so we're only down some cotton underwear and a moron instead of something valuable.
Sincerely, your mystifiedly furious former clanleader (you've been disowned)
