Bay 12 Games Forum

None of my games end in brutal murder anymore. No goblins lay siege. No kobolds steal or kidnap. Very few giant beasts prowl the land. No titans show up. Nothing forgotten raises forth from below the earth.

It's been like this for the past dozen or so worlds I've created. Nothing EVER shows up to kill me regardless of what my world settings are. Am I the only one experiencing this? What's the problem? What happened? I play Dwarf Fortress because of the senseless brutality and sheer difficulty in keeping things going. What's the point if it all just ends up being Baby Hand Holding Simulator?!

Why were thirty of your eighty dwarves miserable? If your fortress was as rocking as you claimed it was, then there must have been some underlying fault in management that caused the tantrum spiral. I keep a military of at least forty dwarves at all times, usually losing half of them every year or so, and I've never had a single tantrum spiral. Sure I've had grumpy dwarves breaking things on occasion, but that's almost never a lasting problem.

Check to see if your dwarves are actually sleeping in their great bedrooms or eating in the legendary dining hall. You should also look and see if they are in fact eating the meals you're cooking instead of just rummaging around for raw plump helmets in the kitchen.

Seriously, you should NOT be having such massive problems after only losing a small handful of your soldiers.

I can't seem to figure out how to fill my waterskin with delicious lifesaving alcohol. Or water, for that matter.

Urist McDeadsoon has contracted the Elven Flu. Symptoms include bark for skin, an insatiable desire to hug trees, and cannibalism.

Urist McDoogal has come down with GnomEbola. Urist McDoogal's arm has been fallen off! Urist dropped an +Oaken Shield+

Urist McPoorsap has contracted Dragon's Revenge! His butt is striking a menacing pose! Beware his deadly fumes.

A wool sock. A palm bracelet. A leather vest. Those are the only artifacts I've gotten in the past five years. Worthless.

I hate animal men, because they keep getting caught in my cage traps but my dwarves refuse to slaughter them like everything else that gets caught.

A migrant wave and a Hydra Megabeast both showed up within thirty seconds of each other and in the exact same spot of the map. The Hydra had a great deal of fun slaughtering the incoming migrant workers, who just kept on appearing on the map as if they were sides of beef delivered by conveyor belt.

Than a heroic hunter dwarf, who was hauling back a giant thrips corpse, spotted what was going on and engaged the Hydra in an attempt to save the remaining migrants. It promptly bit his head clean off his shoulders. The next migrant to appear was a Blacksmith with no training in combat whatsoever. Running up to the body of the hunter and grabbing the crossbow out of its hand, the Blacksmith turned to engage the Hydra with her pilfered weapon.

With no bolts to fire and no idea what the f-ck she was doing, the Blacksmith charged the Hydra and smashed the copper crossbow down onto its foot, crushing the bone. Sidestepping away from the counterattack, the female Blacksmith ducked around behind the Hydra and smashed the copper crossbow into its spine, shattering the bone and rendering it paralyzed from the waist down.

It took several minutes for me to get my military dwarves up to the surface as I had them prowling the caverns when the Hydra arrived. By the time they arrived the female Blacksmith had shattered four of the Hydra's seven skulls and had broken most of the bones in its body, all without suffering a single injury herself. She has since been put in charge of her own squad, in the hopes that her abilities would rub off on my freshest batch of recruits.

My legendary bowyer died while trying to hunt a giant cave spider. To my astonishment he managed to take the thing down with him.