Bay 12 Games Forum

Why not

An armless zombie yeti once bit all seven of my dwarves to death within 5 minutes of embarking. Gotta love haunted glaciers.

catting

Produce a kickass album and sell it to the other PCs

longer

harder

Private Pile-ey

The elf realizes with joy Iron Man is a tree!

[6]The doctors flip you so you are lying on your stomach and stick the syringe in your ass cheek. They inject you full of happy juice and the hospital turns into a magical forest retreat. You look around, but nobody's around besides the trees. Thinking "why not?" you begin fornicating with one of them. In reality, a horrified doctor is struggling to get you off of her.

Still have wings. Awkwardly, yet elegantly flap myself over to a pay phone and call hell and ask for a ride.

[1]There are no phones; ONLY THE QUEUE! MUAHAHHAHAHAHAHAA. While you search around for a phone, the line grew by 500 people.

FIGHT THAT FLOOD WITH BATCHICKEN GAMBITS

[5]Dunna dunna dunna dunna dunaa dunaa dunna dunna BATCHICKEN BATCHICKEN. You throw a bat grenade into the water. It doesn't succeed in hurting the water itself, but it does kill some innocent people who were slowly drowning beneath it. You use your bathook to grapple onto a passing helicopter.

Study harder!

[1]You fail and are forced to drop out of the college of Chickonneran

when i get to heven walk through the gates and take off my mask when noone can see me

[3]You walk through the gates and take off your Jesus disguise (for some reason). You do so, but realize the REAL Jesus was watching you the whole time. He teleports in front of you and demands an explanation.

Join in the chickenness with no idea what has happened so far.

[6]You join so extremely well, that I will give you all the information about this world that you need to know: Africa has been turned into a strip club 'Breast House', South America is now a Gay Bar 'Groin House', and the whole world is ending due to a flood brought about by Dirg angering Morgan Freeman (AKA God).

Also, become demon chicken I was riding in YOU ARE GLADIATOR

I have no idea what "You are a Gladiator" is, but you are a demonic chicken anyway (we've already got one of those but whatever). You appear on the heavily flooded Earth and begin drowning -[6]HP.

Make the elf a cyborg elf with the super union.

[4] You walk into the hospital room of StarkyWayne Toaster Scouts of America Incorporated where the legless elf is clearly hallucinating wildly and crawling around trying to mate with one of the doctors, while being held back by the rest of them. You order him to be more heavily sedated so that he can be enhanced just like you once were. During the surgery, the elf has his legs replaced with rockets, and his pointy ears now fire lasers.

Use propaganda powers on the nearest helicopter, preferably if it's occupied by a chicken!

[3]You somehow amplify your own voice using the radio tower and convince a nearby helicopter pilot to pick you up. Unfortunately he is not a chicken, just a man, but it'll have to do. While you two are flying, a chicken in black masochist gear grapples onto the bottom of the helicopter with a grappling hook.

Greenstarfanatic: 6/12 HP Drowning demonic chicken
Killerhellhound: 6/6 HP Chainsmoking chicken in mask w/ ambassador([6] extra damage on headshot) and deadringer (immune to everything except fire).
LordSlowpoke: 6/6 HP, chicken in black spandex flying
Sayaks: 6/6 HP, speaking chicken in Chickonneran
RTD: 3/3 HP, a chick
Spinal_Taper: 9/9 HP 94/100 WtL 4/? IMA, Normal Seth Green in hospital with Batman and elf, co-owner of  StarkyWayne Toaster Scouts of America Incorporated w/ the Toastmobile, rope+bread body armor, sash flail (5 damage), a toaster, pile of twigs, rocket boots
borno: 4/6 HP, former chicken dictator in a helicopter above the entirely flooded Earth w/ 6 Olympic gold medals, 3 Nobel Prizes, 6 Medals of Honor
IronyOwl: -4/6 HP 5/6WtL, Master Craftsdorf & chicken made of chicken blood in Hell
Dirg: -93/10HP 14/6 WtL, a completely crushed and destroyed one-eyed freak without legs, the ruler of Hell, has inter-dimensional escalator. Frequent visitor of afterlives.
Scelly9: 6/6 HP 6/6 WtL 12/6 H, a naked lady, (ex?)girlfriend of the mayor, founder and sole owner of Breast House and Groin House, screwer of presidents, dirt, and pretty much EVERYTHING else w/ infinite money machine, mind control ray
Corai: 1/7 HP 1/4 WtL 2/0 WP A cyborg elf with laser ears and rocket legs