1) It’s your birthday. Someone gives you a calfskin wallet. How do you react?
Thanks
2) You’ve got a little boy. He shows you his butterfly collection plus the killing jar. What do you do?
That's pretty clever, actually
3) You’re watching television. Suddenly you realize there’s a wasp crawling on your arm.
HEY KID I NEED THAT KILLJAR
4) You're reading a magazine. You come across a full-page nude photo of a girl. You show it to your wife. She likes it so much, she hangs it on your bedroom wall. The girlis lying on a bearskin rug.
Stop poking holes in my wall, you bitch!
5) You’re in a desert walking along in the sand when all of the sudden you look down, and you see a tortoise, it’s crawling toward you. You reach down, you flip the tortoise over on it's back. The tortoise lays on it's back, it's belly baking in the hot sun, beating it's legs trying to turn it'self over, but it can’t, not without your help. But you’re not helping. Why is that?
Fuck the tortoise, he knew the risks when he took the job
6) Describe in single words, only the good things that come into your mind about your mother.
7) You become pregnant by a man who runs off with your best friend, and you decide to get an abortion.
Pretty sure that's the plot of a doujinshi I was reading a few days ago
8) One more question: You're watching a stage play - a banquet is in progress. The guests are enjoying an appetizer of raw oysters. The entree consists of boiled dog stuffed with rice. The raw oysters are less acceptable to you than a dish of boiled dog.
Obviously. Who the hell eats raw oyster? Shit looks like snot.
