Bay 12 Games Forum

Nah, let be pretty clear on this one: I'm not going to have slow, lingering death. I've seen what that looks like, I've been helping take care of it for the last few years. Either something will take me pretty quick when the time comes, or I'll do it myself.

... though the only reason I haven't got a will done up is because I just... don't really have anything to will, and what little I do I care remarkably little about, heh. Literally all I own is about a week's worth of clothes, a laptop and tablet, and what's in my bank account (which is... sorta' okay for someone in my economic situation -- about a year or two's worth of below-poverty-line income -- but not exactly enough to do much of import with). Standard inheritance process is fine, next of kin hasn't quite pissed me off enough to bother with something else. Did enough research to know I don't care enough to do something unusual with it.

But yeah, I've been calling it passively suicidal, though there's probably a better term. Not at the point of purposefully seeking out self-destructive stuff (if mostly just because most of what I'm particularly inclined towards makes me feel physically miserable nowadays, and I'm exhausted, not masochistic), but there's definitely a major "not taking care of myself" pattern of behavior. Don't have the energy for it, and don't really think trying would make much of a difference. There's just not much help for folks in the position I'm in, can't muster the effort or resources to manage without help, and I don't have any reason to expect that to change before something kills me.

Oh... yeah, I've been there since I was like 12, ha. More seriously as I got older -- I haven't expected to live to retirement age for well over a decade, now. I sorta' take care of my health (mostly because I'm caretaking for my grandparents, but once they go *shrugs*), but, like... not nearly well enough, and between likely inherited issues that's probably not far from kicking up and being poor in a poor area in a shit, shit state, I just don't expect to last that long. Nothing about my life or health or family history or environment suggests it's likely.

It's not entirely a bad thing, though? At last part of it comes from just being okay with dying. I've been up mountains, in caves, from one side of the US to the other. Swam in the ocean, in lakes, rivers. Helped build and repair a house or two, all sorts of stuff. For all I've spent a lot of time as what amounts to a techno hermit due to a lot of reasons (mostly just... hating where I live, pretty intensely, heh), for a long while now I've felt like I've done enough, y'know? I've lived a life full enough to be content with kicking the bucket, and there's precious few people likely to outlive me that I give much of a damn about, so no regret-y things on that front. Long as I can manage shelter and food and something to read I'm pretty content with the thought of just mostly just reading a bunch for another decade or two and then getting to have the best nap ever, the one I don't have to wake up from.

Also it has been years since I've been able to find roasted peanuts with honey and salt.

... huh. Really? You can get the cheapo ones at most major grocery stores, I think. They're at the nearest walmart to me. Honey roasted peanuts, the salt is implicit to it just like it is to goddamn everything not explicitly labeled unsalted. They're remarkably good in a bowl of noodles or with rice.

Back when I could actually find it without the veggies (that I dislike intensely) already added one of my favorite lazy meals was beef teriyaki yakisoba with a liquid seasoning, with honey roasted peanuts and a little bit (like one slice of sammich meat of whatever sort was on hand) of meat and a bit of cheese. Good stuff, too damn salty for me to eat anymore, though

Anyway, like... food thread? We have one. We talk snacks in there, too. I made lemon icing coated cashews not too long ago, they were good.

Trusting the thread to anyone but hypnotoad, apparently. Rather than posting, the wiggly-eyed one would have simply conviced novel the thread had been posted, without actually inflicting it on us. Praise its amphibious mercy, it is too good for this spam drenched world.

Okay, that makes more sense than "flesh amalgamation". Not the word I'd use, I think, but I just woke up and most of my time since has been spent wiping a demented old person's ass, so I can't think of the one I would use right now, either.

What has changed in the past few years isn't a sudden increase in the availability of weapons; rather, it's an increase in isolation and dehumanization.

Except that's been happening all over the world, without similarly regular mass shootings, nevermind school ones. What's changed (to whatever extent it has) stateside is that... in an environment with copious firearm access.

e: uh, with similar energy, holy shit has anyone else noticed the onion?

Eh. Mental health care in the US seems to be about the same quality and quantity as in most other western countries. Yet, the shootings happen predominantly in your courtyard. Seems like a distraction.

Most indications I've seen by folks trying to ply that angle suggest it doesn't really help with stuff like this, yeah. They look at past shootings and available indicators prior to them, and generally there's just... not enough there that a more robust mental health system would catch many of them.

There's gigantic pile of other reasons to try to improve mental health care quality and access, but stopping attacks like these ain't it.

By and large we know, full stop, something that would cut down on attacks like these -- reduced firearm access and circulation. The US just isn't willing to do it.