Bay 12 Games Forum

I'm not trying to say that it's for everyone, and you guys are free to live as you see fit. I mean, I don't think I'll ever understand the line of thinking of shutting yourself down to other people, no matter how little I think of most people. *shrugs* Different strokes for different folks, I guess.

Ehn... depends on what you mean by shutting yourself down. Personally, I get along well enough on a facile level with most people, I just don't, y'know, trust them, keep quite a bit quiet/unmentioned, and avoid as much interaction beyond professional (equivalent) as possible (which is most). Can't really risk doing otherwise at the moment, because people talk and other people have ears like woah. Keep things on the light end of such for a few more years, move to somewhere that isn't Bigotstani, USA and family doesn't have tremendous local contacts, then opening up more is fine.* But until then...

Well, it's almost certainly not a universal thing, but I, at least, have learned to get by pretty happily without much in the way of deep (or even much more than shallow) personal connections. It's definitely tempting, and the longing comes up from time to time, but given the risk...

S'like I said, there's a lot more to the world to experience and enjoy and center yourself around that's... not that. Being without really isn't (or doesn't have to be, anyway) that big of a deal. Or even a deal, really. For folks in a less irritating situation, the takeaway is that, just. Remember there's a lot more to the world than interpersonal relationships. Just... so much. If you want to center yourself around something else, it's there to be centered on.

Especially when it's only for a few more years, though, heh. It was harder at the start of things, when awareness of just what sort of situation I was in started dawning, when it was a decade and then some to go. Practice makes perfect!. Light at the end of the tunnel makin' things chill, too~ After a while it does becomes pretty comfortable, though, even without the possibility of change. It's... not so bad, is what I'm saying. Just gotta' get y'mind in the right frame.

*Well, more accurately, get done making sure I'm physically safe (food, shelter, etc.), move somewhere not being a bigot doesn't risk economic trouble (job loss, etc.) or physical damage, and then tell the majority of my family and a great deal of this area "thank you for the support over the years, I deeply appreciate it, but please go to hell. You're wonderful horrible people and I can finally say that without ending up on the streets or beaten, huzzah!". It'd be cathartic, anyway. The casual bigotry in this godforsaken hellhole grates every so little more every bloody day, bleh.

Camel's still got a lot of room for straw, though. Never entirely sure if that makes it better or worse. Does make me even sleepier, though...

Some of us are not rakishly handsome and dreadfully confident. Some of us are just kind of okay looking and barely capable of small talk.

Or just, y'know, not terribly interested in that side of things. Fun, et al (don't mistake that. Nerve endings are nerve endings, yeah.), but it's lasting warmth and someone t'trust that would actually flip the effort switch these days. Not sweat and nerve endings. If it didn't have all those potentially massively disrupting outcomes involved, anyway. As it is... I got good music, good scenery, enjoyable cooking, decent cognitive challenges, (somewhat emotionally distant, but eh) family, games, books, bit of charity effort here and there. Why rock a boat when you're genuinely enjoying riding in it? Especially when there's sharksbullfrogs in the water.

Even one night stuff is a bit of a risk f'me, though. People that know me know people. Area too small, too inbred, too gossipy, haha. And I've already seen plenty of people wrecked (or at least massively inconvenienced) by such things. Sure, I'd probably be smarter about it if I indulged, but I'm sure a lot of them thought the exact same thing. S'a lesson in that, y'ken? If not a universally applicable one.

Yeah... honestly, t'me, the physical aspect just isn't worth the risks involved. Temporary pleasure for potentially permanent pain (emotional or physical) is a fool's bet, and I'm one that's already picked my foolishness quota and aspect and intend to stick with it. Not speaking ill of other's foolishness choices, of course. Everyone's got something they're an idiot about, and it usually hurts 'em in some way or another, and that's, y'know, fine. S'cool. Just gotta' pick your poison and that relationship stuff isn't m'choice of little death, personally. Though by the nonexistent gods I will use entirely too appropriate euphemisms for that sentence. Too bloody exhausted not to.

Unfortunately, m'also still in an area I seriously don't feel like running the risks involved with the emotional aspect either (because a relationship would mean honesty, and honesty would mean shit potentially getting back to people in this area, and that would potentially mean a lot of bad shit and... y'know, I'm getting along well enough as is. Not quite ready to burn bridges.), so... eh. Point being, general commiseration and reaffirmation that there's plenty to do outside the bedroom and general romance. Art, volunteering, work, ambitions, creativity, leisure, platonic relationships of all sorts and variances. Deep, trusting relationship (romantic/sexual or otherwise) would be... it would be really nice, but, there's a lot of other really nice things out there, too. Can't (don't want to) love the one you want, love the one you're with. Keep an eye out, but don't dwell on it, too much.

For all that so many of us invest so much time and effort in the whole rom-thing, it's just... such a small part of such a large world. Bloody hormones and ruddy social animal nonsense trying to convince us it's something important, mumblemutter.

Vote with your heart, go all in if you're under 10k, and remember, never bet DBZ.

I don't get cards anyway, because I'm only level four or some such silliness. I've voted on most of them anyway, I think. Even (especially) the ones I'm not interested in actually buying. Sometimes you want to throw your vote to good will. Or amusement. Or coin flips.

ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY XANTALOPE!

Someone needs to photoshop a jackalope with Xant's avatar now.

Not sure whether it'd be better to just put the antlers on it, or keep the jackalope outline and put Xant's current avatar, like, inside it. It'd still need the hat and monocle, of course.

... giraffe's a mammal. Most of those are pretty trainable regardless. Hell, most things, period, are pretty trainable given enough time and the proper methods. Sometimes even inanimate things, it's crazy. It's incredibly doable (often even downright simple, if not easy) to get things to repeat doing what you want them to repeat doing, all things considered.

Maybe, just maybe, you're not incompetent, and are instead holding "competence" to too high a standard

Nope. S'like... look. When you can't actually do what needs to be done in the situation. You are not competent. Everyone else involved being exponentially worse does not change that

Self-deprecation is an oft used strategy to head criticism off at the pass. On the other hand, too much of it and you basically send the message YOU think you're incompetent.

Man, the fun thing is when you're aware that you are incompetent, but your level of incompetency is still several times more competent than the level of competency possessed by everyone else involved with whatever you're doing.

It is a terrible feeling, to have people looking up(ish) and praising you when you don't actually have any idea what the blue bloody hell you're doing, you're just apparently better at operating in that situation than everyone else.

There's no real gentle way to say, "No, I'm not good at this, you folks just really freaking suck." Especially when their level of capability is actually, like, average or something.